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RE: Married Masters - 1/11/2011 12:44:56 PM

onloan2u

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Joined: 12/22/2010
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Why do most end?!I just started with a married couple, just curious

(in reply to polygrotto)

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RE: Married Masters - 1/12/2011 12:19:49 PM

trusting

Posts: 144
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Virginia
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I believe it depends on the two parties involved. One may become attached to the Master and be willing to come second to His wife and family. I myself would never bother with a married man in any situation without His wife's knowledge.

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(in reply to LoveSparkie)

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RE: Married Masters - 1/20/2011 12:20:46 PM

collaredlilone

Posts: 34
Joined: 12/6/2005
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i myself am collared to a married Master. though i aslo serve her as my Mistress..its been going on 6 years now in Their collar..woot.
anyway.
as to myself i have no problems in devotion coming second in which my Mistress is in all knowing that this is what i love and would have no other way in the sense of coming second. this is not for everyone though. it depends on the individual though i found more positive with Her involved and would never wish it any other way.
but my devotion as a slave, my thoughts and feelings, i would always be second. that is where i belong

(in reply to LoveSparkie)

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Post #: 43

RE: Married Masters - 1/22/2011 7:16:41 AM

SourandSweet

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Joined: 1/22/2011
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In the case of men cheating on their wives then I would query how such a man could consider himself to have dom qualities when he doesn't even have the courage to resolve his marriage difficulties or leave. If a man can't face up to his problems I certainly wouldn't want to know. And if there are no problems then why cheat?

During my single times I've come across many married 'doms' who claim their wives are agreeable to them having a sub. They soon disappeared when asked for their home number, or asked for confirmation from their wives.

Nor would I feel comfortable giving my all to a man who would not give his all to me in return. A d/s relationship is a very deep, emotional thing. Subs need support when they need it, especially in the early days when the relationship is being formed. I couldn't imagine being so involved and not being able to call my dom if I needed him.

As a woman I wouldn't do that to another woman anyway.

If the wife knows and is happy with the arrangement then I see no problem in it.

(in reply to collaredlilone)

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RE: Married Masters - 1/23/2011 7:48:16 PM

MZenith

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Joined: 1/23/2011
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i enjoyed hearing that quote but obviously a single Master is much the preferred option

(in reply to OsideGirl)

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RE: Married Masters - 1/23/2011 8:03:42 PM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SourandSweet

If the wife knows and is happy with the arrangement then I see no problem in it.

No ethical issues, but the man would be largely unavailable and you may not be able to sleep over.

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SourandSweet)

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RE: Married Masters - 1/23/2011 8:21:57 PM

subangi

Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
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I have children, a career, and have a busy schedule, but I would never consider being with a married Dom who wants his sub kept a secret. A married Dom already has a commitment and responsibility with a woman....what would I be then? And if he isnt brave enough to share his needs with who he has committed a relationship with, how can he truly dominate me? I would think he could only be a role play Dom. Surely I would never feel a trust with him.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: Married Masters - 1/24/2011 6:48:16 AM

kalikshama

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Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

During my single times I've come across many married 'doms' who claim their wives are agreeable to them having a sub. They soon disappeared when asked for their home number, or asked for confirmation from their wives.

I think anyone who hears the wife is ok with it should get confirmation from the wife's lips (and not be surprised when what actually happens is the man disappears.)

(in reply to SourandSweet)

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RE: Married Masters - 1/24/2011 9:01:01 PM

MercTech

Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LoveSparkie

I have met quite a few woman who have Masters that are married. Some have wives that are in the lifestyle, others have wives that prefer to be left out of it.

I am confused by this a bit. Why would anyone devote themselves so much to someone who was already taken? Wouldn't they always be put 2nd after His wife and family? It seems like there is no future in that for them. I could be wrong though.

Is anyone in this situation? What is your take on it?

Just to put a twist in the concept,

Why waste time with someone who has no track record of being able to maintain a long term committed relationship?

Just being perverse,
Stefan

(in reply to LoveSparkie)

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Post #: 49

RE: Married Masters - 1/31/2011 10:13:40 AM

graceadieu

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Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
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Assuming that I was single, which I'm not....

I wouldn't have a problem with having a primary relationship with a married person or couple, as long as it was understood that (once things got serious) our relationship was a valued and committed one and I would be moving in with them and be part of the family.

If it were a less serious sort of relationship or play partner, I'd also be fine with a married person as long as I had a chance to meet up with their spouse (well, preferably I'd be playing with both of them, but if not) and get to know them and make sure they're comfortable with the situation.

(in reply to LoveSparkie)

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RE: Married Masters - 1/31/2011 10:32:12 AM

BKSir

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Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
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I think the only thing I took exception with, from the OP was the idea of the sub/pet/slave being "second fiddle". Now, of course there are situations, households and dynamics where indeed he/she would be. But that definitely wouldn't be describing mine. I've been with my partner now for going on 16 years, so yes, in some cases he certainly does take precedence. However, I would say that in 98% of cases of time, attention, importance of needs and wants, I hold both people as equal. Sure, some days one may get a bit more attention than others, but it seems to even out in the long run.

I am, of course, not upset by the wording the OP used, as it could easily be construed in many relationships as just that, one being less important (for lack of a better phrase at the moment) than the other. And again, in some cases, that is how it actually is. But no, not all poly/ds relationships are like that. Hell, thinking about it, in my household, with myself and my partner doting upon my pet, he seems to get more attention than anyone else. ;)

And then there is always the issue of the "secret sub". The "one on the side", that the spouse doesn't even know about and vice versa. That leads into areas for which I have nothing short of contempt and contempt. But that's another story for another day. :)

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(in reply to graceadieu)

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RE: Married Masters - 2/3/2011 12:04:31 AM

MadamAurantia

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Joined: 2/2/2011
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I know a sub whose Dom is married and cheating. His wife is her cousin, too. Somehow he even managed to convince his wife that her cousin (the sub) needed to move in, helping with bills and cleaning house as rent. This has been going on for a couple of years now. The worst part was that when I spoke to either of them, they would spend half the time bad-mouthing the wife: She's so stupid, she's a slob, she's ugly...

Gods, man. Leave her or shut up! I didn't see it as my place to tell the woman, but I felt so sorry for her. The kids, too. They would laugh about how the kids all knew, but liked the sub better than the mother and came to the sub for help before the mother. Gah! I don't hang with them anymore, for MANY reasons.

One must consider: If he'll cheat FOR you, he'll cheat ON you. It goes for women, too. If you're supposedly poly, and one partner isn't in the know, then how many other partners are in the dark about something else? My Husband/Dom and I are semi-poly (no time for it), and I want to know everything about it.

< Message edited by MadamAurantia -- 2/3/2011 12:08:16 AM >

(in reply to BKSir)

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Post #: 52