kalikshama
Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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Here are my favorites from this thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1603688/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#1604405
What They Say: You have to earn the right to have my phone number
What They Mean: The last time my wife caught me lying and cheating she
Wouldn't blow me for a month.
What they say: I am old guard trained
What they mean: I do things the right way, and you don't
They say: What are your limits.
They mean: I am not wasting my time on bitches who don't swallow or take it up the ass.
They say: What are your limits?
They mean: What are you already willing to do before I have to put any work into this.
What they say: I want to be your mentor.
What they mean: Take off your cloths and spread your legs.
They say: I am real.
They mean: In saying this, I hope to convince both you and me that I am real.
What they say: Trust me
What they mean: If you were smart you'd already be running.
What they say: I *love* service submissives.
What they mean: Get on your knees, open your mouth, and give me a bj
What they say : Looks don't matter
What they mean : I think I am unattractive and I hope you will like me anyway, but if your ugly forget it!
What they say: Emotionally Secure
What they mean: used to being dumped
What they say: Occasional drinker
What they mean: AA has rejected me
What they say: Outgoing
What they mean: Last seen on Jerry Springer show.
What they say: I don't have a pic
What they mean: I fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
What they say : I want a dog licking peanut butter blowjob.
What they mean: I want a dog licking peanut butter blowjob.
What they say : Of course I'll respect you.
What they mean: Fucking slut.
What they say: “I want to be friends.”
What they mean: “I want to be your Master.”
They say: Be free of std's
They mean: Because I hate using condoms
They say: No baggage
They mean: Because I have enough of my own that you'll have to deal with
They say: All relocation costs will be at your expense
They mean: Because none of the other ones have lasted more than a few days and I'm broke.
They say: You must love orgasm control
They mean: Because I've never gotten a woman off before
They say: I'm strict but fair
They mean: I'll wuss out as soon as you stick out your bottom lip
They say: I will control your mind
They mean: I've lost mine
They say: Is it your destiny to serve?
They mean: I read that in someone else's profile once, thought it sounded cool.
What they say: “Once you are done with all the fakes and wannabes.”
What they mean: “I am insecure and also quite lazy.”
What they say: “Only an older Master like myself is mature and knowledgeable enough to give you what you need.”
What they mean: “I am old and hoping this online thing can get me some young stuff.”
What they say: “I have collared many girls”
What they mean: “I suck at long-term relationships.”
What They Say: "I respect that your already involved, and I just want to get to know you as a friend".
What They Mean: "I want to keep you talking until I can figure out a way in with you".
They Say "That’s me in the photo"
They mean " is it that long since 1975"
They say " I have 8 inches"
They mean " if you measure it twice"
What they say: “My sub is sick and can no longer fulfill her obligations”
What they mean: “I'm bored and need some excitement.”
What they say: You have an interesting profile'
What they mean: I haven't actually read it, but it's as good a one-liner as any other.
They say: I'm looking for discreet meetings for play
They mean: I'm married and fooling around on the side
What they say : may turn into long term
Whey they mean : I want a one night stand, if I tell you I want a one night stand you won't do me, so I am hoping this will encourage you to sleep with me and I won't have to be accountable for actually just wanting a one night stand.
What They Say: "It's not about your pictures".
What They Mean: "I hope she doesn't realize I just jerked off to her pictures"
They say: I have a huge collection of whips, floggers, canes and paddles
They mean: And I don't have a clue how to use any of them
They say: I want to fill every hole you have with my cum
Them mean: I haven't gotten it up in years
They say: I don't want to waste a lot of time emailing and IM'ing
They mean: Because my mom only lets me have the computer for an hour every night.
They say: I am told I am very good looking
They mean: Of course, that was 20 years ago
What they say : I am really busy and rarely home, here is my cell number.
What they mean : I am married and don't want my spouse to know.
What they say: ALL women are submissive
What they mean: At least I hope so because otherwise I don't have a chance if they aren't.
What they say : You got another picture?
What they mean : You got a nude picture so I can Jack Off?
What they say : All women are bi
What they mean : I have been watching too many pornos
They say: Your owner is too young to know anything and the relationship won't last long.
They mean: I really want a hot young thing who is into kinky sex. If I play the odds, maybe when they break up she will think I'm really insightful.
What They Say: "Your Dom doesn't know how to control you".
What They Mean: "God I hope I can control you long enough to get a round of sex out of you".
What They Say: "God sent you to me".
What They Mean: "I think I forgot to take my meds again".
They say: A submissive doesn't have the right to choose their owner.
They mean: I really hope they buy into this shit because there is no way I'm getting a sub on my own merits.
What They Say: "BOW DOWN BITCH!!!"
What They Mean: "Oh geez I hope it works this time."
They say: "I'll talk to your Dom, sure! I just want to be friends, really."
They mean: "I am SO in there when she dumps him."
He says: Of course I'm listening to you.
He means: Stop talking and get naked.
He says: That sounds great to me.
He means: Hurry up and get naked.
He says: I know where we are. We're not stopping for directions.
He means: I'm in too big a hurry to get home and you get naked.
When they say: A slave should never question Me.
They mean: I'm hoping to get away with whatever I can.
They say: I'm 40-ish
They mean: I'll be 50 next week
They say: I'm looking for younger subs
They mean: Because the ones my own age know too much
When they say: I've been thinking about you a lot.
What they mean: Goddamn i can't get the memory of your lips outta my mind; or
What they mean: Damn, you really are better than so-and-so.
When they say: I'm sorry, I haven't been calling, I've been working so hard I've been falling asleep early.
What they mean: I've been spending all my nights on Yahoo Cam with other subbies, or
What they mean: Damn, I hope she doesn't figure out I lost my job last month.
He says: I put that collar around your neck for a reason!
He means: and goddamn was the sex great after that!, or
He means: it was the only way to shut you up.
When they say: I only want a NO LIMITS, real submissive.
They mean: I have the 55 gallon drum waiting out in the garage.
What they say: I am strict and will punish you.
What they mean: ...stating the obvious make me sound old guard
What they say: I have a high sex drive and am demanding
What they mean: ... my wife gets snicky when i ask her for sex twice in the same week, but you're a slut so you'll love it
What they say: ...I have a msn slave, she needs to serve, but only sometimes, so she wears my temporary collar.
What they mean:..she likes to get off being called a whore, but i cant get her to do it over the phone
What they say: I like girls with extra padding and curves
What they mean: ... fat girls have low self esteem so are easier to dominate, they make me feel like a man
What they say: i want a slave who feels the burning need for service in her belly
What they mean:... girls dig the mystical thing, and it is so muich easier to boss the bitch around if she thinks its spiritual
When they say: I'm an Old Guard (or is it Olde Guarde?) Dominant
Then mean: I got my AOL account last week and I've ordered my copy of "Screw the Roses"
They say: I'll send you a picture upon request
Them mean: It's too hideous to actually post here and I'm planning on sweeping you off you feet verbally so my looks won't matter to you.
They say: This is my last attempt at trying to find "The One"
Them mean: I've been at this for three days already!
They say: I'm a 'natural Dominate'
They mean: I've been a control freak all my life, now I have an excuse.
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