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RE: Play with others - 12/29/2010 7:31:44 PM

kdsusa7894

Posts: 193
Joined: 12/19/2010
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What would you do in a vanilla relationship if you were being ignored and no sex? Would you ask your SO? I sure as hell would. And as far as that goes as a sub I would do the same, these dynamics are based on honesty, trust and a whole shitload of communication to keep the relationship strong. She is talking to you about it and if the relationship is worth fighting for shouldn't she be talking to him? Not sayin, just sayin....

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val To Aqua- Thanks!
Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I'm yours forever...

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RE: Play with others - 12/29/2010 8:46:04 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

I totally agree. A relationship requires 2 people to communicate with each other. Regardless of the lifestyle. I am a firm believe that regardless if you are a sub or not, you should be able to voice your concerns especially when the relationship is not heading in the direction you are expecting. Communication is the key.

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Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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RE: Play with others - 12/30/2010 4:27:21 AM

CherryNeko

Posts: 330
Joined: 12/29/2010
From: Mexico City
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I think they have to talk about it. It doesn't work anymore. It's not that he's seeing how you endure, no. He's actually not paying attention at all. It leaves you unsatisfied, and you are going to stand there, in silence? No!
It's not acceptable anymore. If you were asked for advice, there is discomfort and unsatisfaction. That means the Master is not doing his job. They have to talk.

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Before this night ends?
I'm dying surrounded by white flowers
Which scatter in the sky...

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RE: Play with others - 12/30/2010 7:04:28 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
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I also don't understand "not wanting to get involved" when a close friend has expressly asked you for advice. "getting involved" is when you go out of your way to tell her "i think you should leave him" when she hasn't really asked your opinion -- but when she HAS asked, and wants honesty, you need to give it to her.

as far as the guy in question, sounds like he's readying a parachute and preparing to bail. =p

(in reply to January)

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RE: Play with others - 12/30/2010 8:03:19 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Contesa

What do you do when your Sir/Master wants to play with everyone else, but you. You go to clubs/parties and he plays with other people and leaves you sitting there. Then he begins having intimate conversations on line with the people he's played with. There is also no play going on at home.

Is this a clear message that he's sending.

Well, the only thing that's clear is that he's doing what he's doing and that she has asked you what you'd do.

Is there any good reason that she is just being a bystander in her relationship and not getting involved by mentioning that she's bothered, mystified and asking friends what they'd do?

The ONLY answer is.... Ask him why, bring it up, get involved.

These things rarely happen in isolation.

agirl

(in reply to Contesa)

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RE: Play with others - 12/30/2010 1:39:59 PM

LadyRian

Posts: 486
Joined: 9/5/2010
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Hi op,
To me this is a clear message that he's sending. And it's a mean, hurtful message too. If she hasn't spoken to him about this already, I'd recommend that she do so as soon as possible, to see if any underlying issues can be worked on, and worked out.

If she already has, and keeps getting told "Nothing's wrong between us" or some other evasion statement, she might want to consider why she's staying in a relationship where her feelings aren't being considered, leaving her lonely, unhappy, and feeling devalued.

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Post #: 26