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RE: So Confused - 12/31/2010 9:08:05 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: paintedshadows

That seems to be the common thing, being able to count good men on one hand, makes life that much more difficult.

  Amputate a few fingers, and then it gets easier to do...
quote:



SomeoneReal I think I figured that one out a bit too late, but then again he didn't get what he was after so he got huffy and went to bed like a spoiled child. That should have tipped me off and while it did in some degree I actually felt the need to ask advice this time, because I'm sick of getting jerked around by guys on here.


IMO, a Dom MUST be someone you can look up to.  While I'm not saying he needs to be a captain of industry and have legions of minions, he should be in control of himself to at least some degree.  If he sulks, throws tantrums, or calls names, I can't see him as being a man, let alone a Dom.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to paintedshadows)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: So Confused - 12/31/2010 1:32:49 PM   
SomoneReal


Posts: 65
Joined: 7/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mbes

quote:

A few photo's proving you are real is ENOUGH.


How does one do this exactly? What does a photo on a computer "prove"? Good googling skills?
I see this from time to time, but even if I show a picture, what proves that it is a picture of me? or that it hasn't been edited in some way? If you're going to take my word that a picture I send you is actually me, you might as well take my word that I'm "real", too.
And if it gets to the point of it, I'll be happy to meet you at Starbucks.


This is a great question too.  A simple way is to take a picture of yourself holding a handwritten message that includes your user name, etc...  Or get on web cam. 

Anyone should be able to detect bullshit photographs, just look at some of the profiles on the site.  Some are full of pictures of porn stars that I masturbated to back in my teen years!

I don't drink coffee, but I appreciate the invitation to Starbucks.

(in reply to mbes)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: So Confused - 12/31/2010 2:28:43 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: paintedshadows

I know barely anything and it's making it difficult, the person who agreed to mentor me keeps trying to tell me that I have to be comfortable in my own skin that a Dominant wouldn't take me on sight unseen. I understand that, but does being seen require you to be nude for the photos. I'm really struggling to understand this mainly because I've been burned a few times on here and I don't wish to do so again.

So I guess the main question is, do you really have to throw around photos of yourself to be accepted as who you are, or can an everyday photo suffice as being seen?



I wouldn't blame any dominant not taking someone *sight unseen*. I expected a LOT more than *sight* when I was *taken*.

There's no requirement for ANYTHING..only what YOU are willing to accept or do.

It wouldn't be the picture of my body that'd put me off at all.....it'd be the moronic spiel trying to convince me. Far better to just say * Love to see a pic of your arse* in a chatty convo.

agirl



< Message edited by agirl -- 12/31/2010 2:29:19 PM >

(in reply to paintedshadows)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: So Confused - 12/31/2010 2:32:46 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		there isn't any reason to send someone nude photos unless you just like doing that, or it's someone you're in a relationship with.
a simple photo in everyday "vanilla" clothes is totally fine.
some people DO collect photos -- they presume that since you've replied to a few messages, they have the right to ask for or expect that you'll send them photos, when you have no real reason to. what cracks me up are the guys who do it with NO PICTURE of their own. =p

haha

do whatever you're comfortable with. someone who is worthwhile will get to know you regardless. :)

(in reply to mbes)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: So Confused - 12/31/2010 3:44:52 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I wouldn't even send a face pic until you're sure you want to meet. Forget about a nude one. As far as being taken on sight unseen, you don't want to do that. You want to be friends first, have a level of trust develop.

If you really feel you need a mentor, ask a sub who writes advice that you agree with to do this for you.

Query though, is your horse tough to catch that he's wearing a halter out in the paddock?


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: So Confused - 12/31/2010 7:46:08 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		No need to be confused it sounds like some guy is trying to get you for all your use.

Stand strong as others have said. Be resolute. You do have the ability to say no in order for you to prevent yourself from getting burnt out.

I quite like pictures of things that people like, or animals. While a smile is nice it says more.

Be wary of the cleanliness of the abode when you take a simple portrait picture of your self.


_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to paintedshadows)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: So Confused - 12/31/2010 9:16:25 PM   
paintedshadows


Posts: 26
Joined: 8/1/2010
Status: offline 		And that is why I take pictures outdoors :) No room to clean for it just point and click.

DesFIP- No he isn't hard to catch at all, it's just a safety thing in case he got loose, which he never did. That was the boarding stables rules, I leave his halter off as often as possible, no sense marring the natural beauty of a horse by putting a nasty halter on him when he's well behaved.

(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: So Confused - 1/1/2011 6:44:52 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I would never board a horse where they required my horse wear his halter while loose. It is a huge safety hazard for the horse.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to paintedshadows)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: So Confused - 1/1/2011 7:39:52 AM   
paintedshadows


Posts: 26
Joined: 8/1/2010
Status: offline 		And that is one of the main reasons we are no longer at that stable, the one we are at now requires no halters, makes for happier horses and a safer environment for them.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: So Confused - 1/1/2011 10:14:47 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		yea and when they get loose, without a halter it's much more difficult to catch them

i once had one ahole manage to let 6 horses loose and they were running up and down the road, that is more dangerous to a horse than wearing a halter

i have never seen a horse hurt from wearing a halter

needless to say he is no longer here

that was a traffic stopper

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to paintedshadows)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: So Confused - 1/1/2011 11:03:47 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		I actually agree it might be a good thing, it might be a good way to overcome inhibitions - it just might not be the right thing for you.

i.e., it's hardly a requirement, and it is ultimately up to you to choose your level of submission, limits, etc. - you should do whatever you do for yourself, not for anybody else, until such time as you choose to allow someone else to make choices for you - if ever.

There are a lot of different venues for this, and they're all a bit different - lot's of exhibitionism on Fet, for example, and Literotica has an amateur pic forum, with certain restrictions, and it's a different dynamic, but again, it's your life, and whether you want to do it or not is ultimately, up to you, until you decide it isn't.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: So Confused - 1/1/2011 2:13:55 PM   
soul2share


Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungBlondeSlave
i can probably count those men on one hand.

Hell, I can do it on one finger!

OP, honestly, if your guts tell you something's hinky, or it's something that  you aren't comfortable with, then DON'T do it!

Believe it or not, every one of the Doms I've met and interacted with have never seen my pic before meeting.  I take absolutely HORRENDOUS pics, an the few times I've actually sent one of the god-awful things, the guys have run off (screaming, I'm guessing) into the night.  I don't ask for pics, because I'm not about the outside appearance...granted, there has to be some sort of chemistry, but I'm not all hung up on the physical....I care that it's neat and clean, and that it is pleasant to look at, however, what I consider good looking may not be what the next person considers the same.  What I can't get past is someone's voice....occupational hazard, I guess.  If I can't stand the sound of your voice, I don't care how gorgeous you are.

Guys that ask for nude pics are the first ones I walk away from.  I tell them once that I don't do them, if they are ok with it, I'll keep talking, otherwise, I'm outta there!  And I'm not interested in seeing their dangly parts, either.....I delete those pics.....unless I need a laugh......dicks are really pretty funny looking! 

_____________________________

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?"...people are starting to take it as a challenge!

*Not a fuck was given.*

(in reply to YoungBlondeSlave)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: So Confused - 1/1/2011 2:20:07 PM   
paintedshadows


Posts: 26
Joined: 8/1/2010
Status: offline 		AH now see there is one reason I don't like sending pics, I've gotten reactions that range from cute to teenage boy attitude ew you're ugly. Of course I'm good at ignoring these things by now. Either way haven't heard from the guy since I put up a fight about showing him pics :P I have a feeling there will be a message somewhere in there about me not being submissive enough for him to mentor.. after this I don't think I'll need his help, everyone on here is so insightful I'll just stick with asking questions here.

osf - Where my boys are now is a very nice place with electric fencing that they know better than to test. They go out with their halters still because I worry if they need to get them in quick during a lightning storm that mine will be a butthead and run away because he panics. And the old man has to wear his because if he goes down we need to get him back up. But in the indoor arena or round pen they don't wear them because I like to watch them be completely free and not look like a domestic equine :)

(in reply to soul2share)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: So Confused - 1/1/2011 2:28:36 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I like when guys are pushy about nude pictures because that saves me a lot of time determining compatibility. NEXT!

Note: I've often sent nude pictures unsolicited, but never when pushed.

(in reply to paintedshadows)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: So Confused - 1/1/2011 2:48:12 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		all i have are stalls and paddocks and a very busy road out front

what most people don't understand is that the interests of the farm may not be their interests and rules have to apply to all evenly

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: So Confused - 1/1/2011 3:15:06 PM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		I never ask for pics myself, although a face pic is nice just so I can put a face to the name, but not everyone is comfortable with that, so even then it's usually after I've known them for a while, and I don't post it publicly.

I did have one online relationship that lasted quite a while and she used to send me movies, her idea, but it sort of petered out as it became clear we weren't going to be getting together anytime soon. She's not a submissive, just a kinky woman, and I still talk to her now and then, but she hasn't sent me any movies lately - unfortunate, she has a magnificent ass.

A lot of women in here demand pics, I don't have any on my profile, I have school age children and there are people who are not above dragging them into it if I made it too easy, but I have no problems sending face pics on request - I don't even have a pic of my cock, though I suppose it could be easily arranged on request.

There is a lot of bugaboo about it, like cybering, which I'm kind of curious about, I find the mere possibility fascinating and worth investigating, but about which people tend to have wildly differing, and fairly strong opinions - it is safe sex, but I suppose that could be abused as well.

So far, I haven't had any luck talking anybody into it - but I haven't actually tried very hard either, and women I've known who were interested, happened to have their computers located in family spaces, making it problematic - you don't want the kids walking in on it, of course, lol.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: So Confused - 1/1/2011 3:27:02 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Your mentor sounds like a dickhead. Get better filtering skills or you will pick equally dickhead dominants as you do mentors.

_____________________________



(in reply to paintedshadows)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: So Confused - 1/1/2011 3:32:04 PM   
paintedshadows


Posts: 26
Joined: 8/1/2010
Status: offline 		Yeah when I had the desktop computer in the living room or in the basement ( my brother's game room) it made things quite difficult and that's when I had a working web cam and wasn't afraid to use it. I mostly send the one picture I have of me and my horse, it's just easier, because around my horse I'm more comfortable in front of cameras. If a guy is going to ask for mine then I ask for one in return unless they have it on their profile. Otherwise I'll just talk to them until they bring it up.

osf - I can see where that would be smart to have the halters on them if you're close to a road. The new barn we're located at is on a back road waaaay in the boons.

(in reply to xssve)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: So Confused - 1/1/2011 5:06:59 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Shakes head in sad wonder at Aileen's dislike of dickheads.  I always figured that was one of her favorite things.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: So Confused - 1/1/2011 6:42:59 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Shakes head in sad wonder at Aileen's dislike of dickheads.  I always figured that was one of her favorite things.



There's only one dickhead I like. You can have the rest...

_____________________________



(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 40
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