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RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/3/2011 11:50:45 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		For Carol, the answer is the same as Aquatic's and Lilly's... she was born. Although in her case, that doesn't connect to 'power exchange' and 'kink'. It just means that she was born submissive... preferring to follow rather than lead... choosing to accommodate rather than confront. What put a collar around her neck was us running into this all a few years back online and me deciding I wanted a slave.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to AzLeatherMan)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/3/2011 12:18:19 PM   
subinlife


Posts: 263
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline 		Birth, ie: a submissive personality.
I have always wanted to please all of those around me.
To see to any need they had.
Took awhile to find a name and a place for this desire.
But I did and now I feel complete.

_____________________________

Don't Live Faster Then Your Angels Can Fly

(in reply to leadership527)
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RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/3/2011 12:45:35 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		No event happened. Other than puberty.

I then realized that all the crazy fantasies I had when I was a kid were the trigger to my sexuality.

(in reply to subinlife)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/3/2011 1:06:11 PM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		I, like so many others who have replied, don't have a pivotal event.  I used to tie myself up, pinch my own nipples, dream of being the kidnapped princess, etc.  I have always sought out leader-types in my playmates.  I have always sought to serve and make others happy and found more joy in deferring to a worthy authority than being in control.

There was however, a pivotal moment in discovering a sadistic streak, when Master handed the flogger to me and told me to flog his wife.  I loved it and have subsequently found that certain people bring out a dominance I did not know I had.  Exploration is so much fun!

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/3/2011 4:47:49 PM   
petmonkey


Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		FR

What life event made me desire to be submissive? 

    None, it was just my row to hoe, so to speak.

What life event made me desire to be a submissive?

    Realizing at one point in my very early twenties, while surrounded by "in the lifestyle" friends i had collected purely by accident of personality, that i could do it in an ordered, conscious way seemed more worthwhile and safer than doing it in the willy-nilly manner i had been previously.

< Message edited by petmonkey -- 1/3/2011 4:49:34 PM >

_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.


(in reply to beltainefaerie)
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RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/5/2011 7:41:04 PM   
kuppykake


Posts: 125
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		I think I was born this way...who knows

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/17/2011 8:35:36 PM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: beltainefaerie

I, like so many others who have replied, don't have a pivotal event.  I used to tie myself up, pinch my own nipples, dream of being the kidnapped princess, etc.  I have always sought out leader-types in my playmates.  I have always sought to serve and make others happy and found more joy in deferring to a worthy authority than being in control.

There was however, a pivotal moment in discovering a sadistic streak, when Master handed the flogger to me and told me to flog his wife.  I loved it and have subsequently found that certain people bring out a dominance I did not know I had.  Exploration is so much fun!



Now how come I don't have such a fun life? 

Anyway, to repeat ad nauseam, I believe I was born this way.  It is true that my mother was the more dominant of the two partners.  I had my first urges to submit to a woman when I was about seven.  Distinctly remember it.

(in reply to beltainefaerie)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/18/2011 7:14:51 AM   
preytolife


Posts: 138
Joined: 11/29/2010
From: LaLa Land
Status: offline 		There wasn't really a specific event that made me want to be. I always wanted someone else to lead, I knew what I liked as far back as I remember. I didn't really ever think I could have it, I never thought I was good enough and I didn't get close to other people at all until a girl I knew in high school wrote a poem about me and how I appeared to her. It's one thing to know some things vaguely about yourself, it's another thing to realize that other people can see those things as well. Big, "oh shit, they see me" epiphany. Sweet girl, we were both more open-minded than high school girls had any right to be.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/18/2011 6:16:12 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AzLeatherMan

I am wondering what life event caused others to desire to be a submissive. I desired to be a male submissive following an experience with a 35 year old woman who spanked me when I was a teenager.


Greetings AzLeatherMan,

I can't pinpoint a life event that contributed to my interest in slavery. What I return to is a deep desire for sadism and a high level of mental dynamics in my relationships. I've found that both components are necessities and must occur with some measure of depravity to satisfy my appetite. The latter extends beyond the physical and encompasses my total person.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to AzLeatherMan)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/18/2011 6:20:06 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I can fully recognize my events but I don't discuss them due to age restrictions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AzLeatherMan

I am wondering what life event caused others to desire to be a submissive. I desired to be a male submissive following an experience with a 35 year old woman who spanked me when I was a teenager.



_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to AzLeatherMan)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/18/2011 6:54:12 PM   
Enigma108


Posts: 16
Joined: 12/10/2010
Status: offline 		I usually think the concretizing event was because of sexual molestation as a child at age 8 by my father, but when I was 3 years old, I recall being turned on by the sexual smell/energy of sex coming from adults in the next room and having a rather detailed fantasy during that time about bad men putting knives into my vagina. So, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Do children at that age know intuitively about the symbolism of sharp things going into vaginas, or knowing that it is bad men who do it? It's quite possible, even probable, that I had been molested earlier and didn't recall it, but it's also possible that my domineering mother set it in motion. As an adult, I have realized that she got some kind of unconscious sexual pleasure out of controlling and humiliating me. In any case, let me leave this message for anyone who thinks about molesting or otherwise abusing children--it isn't a game and it leaves damage that nothing can ever heal.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/20/2011 5:42:37 PM   
mysouldesire


Posts: 85
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave

Hitting puberty. The hormones flooded in and I began figuring out what I wanted in sex, romance, and a relationship. 


I received a chuckle from this.... Is that what happened with me, I hit it, not slid into it?

Now back to your normal programming.

I truly believe it is a natural trait or an acquired one.

< Message edited by mysouldesire -- 1/20/2011 5:44:13 PM >

(in reply to WestBaySlave)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/20/2011 7:20:54 PM   
BbcSlutKc


Posts: 60
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		no life event made me want to be submissive. its always been in me! i just never knew that "slave/sub" is what i was until i talked to someone over the internet and they enlightened me. every man i have been with i always wanted to please, but my Master understands this and loves me for it. noone else ever did, which makes me respect, love, cherish and want to please him even more just because he understands my needs and wants.

< Message edited by BbcSlutKc -- 1/20/2011 7:24:49 PM >

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/20/2011 7:29:19 PM   
BbcSlutKc


Posts: 60
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Enigma108

I usually think the concretizing event was because of sexual molestation as a child at age 8 by my father, but when I was 3 years old, I recall being turned on by the sexual smell/energy of sex coming from adults in the next room and having a rather detailed fantasy during that time about bad men putting knives into my vagina. So, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Do children at that age know intuitively about the symbolism of sharp things going into vaginas, or knowing that it is bad men who do it? It's quite possible, even probable, that I had been molested earlier and didn't recall it, but it's also possible that my domineering mother set it in motion. As an adult, I have realized that she got some kind of unconscious sexual pleasure out of controlling and humiliating me. In any case, let me leave this message for anyone who thinks about molesting or otherwise abusing children--it isn't a game and it leaves damage that nothing can ever heal.



wow u remember this at the age of 3?? thats incredible yet horrific, im really very very sorry that happened at such a young age and even more that u remember it. my heart goes out to u

(in reply to Enigma108)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/21/2011 7:37:58 AM   
LilMichele


Posts: 65
Joined: 6/13/2009
Status: offline 		Hmmm...I don't think it was one life event more a realization.  I was raised by a single mom that bought into the 80's notion of quality time not quantity, a woman can have it all and make the money etc etc. So yeah she was a feminist of the aggressive variety.  I was brought up with the idea that I could run my own life and don't neet a man and in fact it would be foolish and weak to follow one. So I married a guy that let me do that.  He let me run everything. 

I HATED it! He did too, but we couldn't figure out how to change the dynamic.  That's putting it mildly. I think he's a guy that's submissive and hates himself for it which made it very difficult to fix anything.  We're divorced now.

I've had enough of the fighting my nature and I can't even think of dating men that aren't in control of their own lives at the least.  Now I'm raising two boys on my own and I'm glad I have the background of knowing how to run things on my own, but I can't let anyone into my life that can't be in charge.  I don't hate being a single Mom, in fact I think it requires a little Domme to raise boys to be men.  But the Man in my life cannot be one of my boys.  Yes this runs into my sex life, too. Tongue in cheek I'm saying this...one of the 'tests' of if a guy is Dominant, for me, is if he says "Will you turn over?". *cringe*  or if he just grabs my ankels and flips me *huge smile*.

So it ain't just kink for me, it is a part of who I am.  Maybe it was since birth but I didn't notice until I was in my 30's.

(in reply to AzLeatherMan)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/21/2011 8:21:41 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMichele

Tongue in cheek I'm saying this...one of the 'tests' of if a guy is Dominant, for me, is if he says "Will you turn over?". *cringe*  or if he just grabs my ankels and flips me *huge smile*.



I laughed when I read this because I feel the same way. If a guy I am with asks if he can do anything, whether it is a kiss or anything else, I am not turned on. I like a man who can take control.

(in reply to LilMichele)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/21/2011 8:42:27 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

If a guy I am with asks if he can do anything, whether it is a kiss or anything else, I am not turned on. I like a man who can take control.


Ditto!  Don't ask.  Just.do.it.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/21/2011 9:02:40 AM   
Courageouscrusoe


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/30/2010
Status: offline 		I think I always felt it but was too chicken to do anything about it.....on my birthday a few years ago an old friend sent a dominatrix to me as a surprise. He didn't know about my tilt so it was just a coincidence but it changed my perspective completely

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What life event made you desire to be a submissive? - 1/21/2011 9:15:17 PM   
mysouldesire


Posts: 85
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

preferring to follow rather than lead... choosing to accommodate rather than confront.



Very nice thoughts...and true of natural submissive vs an acquired submissiveness.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 39
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