Toppingfrmbottom
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Linnea, I refused to go on vacation with my family unless Sparky could come. We'd go once a year by car to Oaklohoma, it was a 3 day trip, and I said if Sparky can't come I won't either, because up till this point they thought nothing of going out of town if the weather was mild or even warm like summer,an leaving an animal with a huge thing of food, and tons of water, leave the porch door open, so they could come in an lay down, and just leave the pet, unattended for the few days you were gone, if the trip was short, but I wasn't ok with that. I felt that time with my cockerspaniel was precious, and no way in hell was I gonna go off for 3-4 days an leave my baby unsupervised, with maybe a check up from the neighbhor once a day. I've refused to plan to go places where he couldn't. In that regard it's a relief not to have any animals, though I will miss the companionship.
Yup, That's how it felt for me with sparky, the time where he got sicker an sicker, I was eaten up by it all the time, an then I cried for days with the news of it being his end of time, an then of course cried for him after he was gone, but then with in like a day or two I felt completely normal, I was still sad, but I could face life an the day and stuff, while every one around me was still crying an wanting to tell me they'd been crying, and how much they hurt, which just kind of makes me uncomfortable, because I've stoped crying and am largely ok,an then sometimes after say like 4 or 5 days of feeling completely normal, as if this hole hadn't appeared in my life, I'd be completely booboo'd. Or like one time at this therapy program I was allowed to speak for a bit, and I was doing it, no emotions no pain an then when it came to talking about being afraid he'd be dead in my bed by morning, and not having any support from my partner, because his grief made it to hard to hear about my grief, and I had to keep it mostly to myself I felt, cause any time I tried to speak about it, he'd start crying an tell me please stop talking about it, I can't handle it, an it was the longest morning I had ever spent. this huge tsunomi of pain washed over me an I was bawling an blubbering. 3 years later, and I thought it was mostly all gone, and there was a clearing the air talk an he came up an this fierce pain came with it an I sat there in the kitchen ranting an blubbering about the loss of my doggie.
The same with Ginger. I feel relativly normal,even just one day later, but that owie is there lurking an if I think of things like the last image of her on the floor dead not moving, which I shouldn't do but I torture myself with the image sometimes, then I'll cry again. or just random tears sneaking up on you, no self torture with painful images or thoughts.
quote:
ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis
Big hugs for you TFB. I've been there, done that & it's always hard, but I always feel honored to be there with them at the end. When I took Mr. Cat in, he totally ignored everything & everybody else around him & focused on me. As soon as I laid him on the towel on the table, he looked into my eyes & his eyes never moved again. They tried to show him the clippers so he wouldn't be afraid when they shaved his leg for the IV, but he wouldn't look away from me. He died looking into my eyes. We had been together at that point for over 14 year & I was his world as he was mine. I loved that boy so much that when an opportunity to move to Hawai'i came up, I turned the job down because it would mean that he would have to be in quarantine & I knew that he would suffer without me with him. He slept with me every night of that 14 years & after he died, I would be fine all day long & then I would go to bed & sit on the side of the bed & cry my heart out every single night for several months.
Know that you did the very best thing for Ginger & that she appreciates what you have done. It's never easy to say goodbye, but you put her first & that's a wonderful thing to do. And I'm glad that you kept checking around til you found a way to get it done affordably with you there.
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One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book
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RE: Our time to part with Ginger is near. - 
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