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Orgasm Denial - 1/3/2011 9:34:42 AM

slaveamy2009

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My slave and I have been together for a while now, and we would like to venture into orgasm denial. I have looked online on how to start training her. If anyone could send advice, or websites that would be great! Can't wait to start :)

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/3/2011 1:48:57 PM

jimjones1979

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Ya, not a lot out there about this. I just started training my toy a few weeks ago with a word and a trigger. I want her to orgasm when ever and where ever I like.

I found a posting or two on this site. Do a search!

good luck...

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/3/2011 2:35:26 PM

mnottertail

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*sigh*

OK, careful here kiddies.....

You say all unthinking like as you watch monday night football, "Come!" thinking you will get a beer and an airstart, and she's in the kitchen.......splooooooooooooooosh!!!!

And thats it for the linoleum, bud.

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/3/2011 2:53:30 PM

JstAnotherSub

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Thought about telling her not to cum?

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/3/2011 3:07:44 PM

hisbadkitty

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I actually started practicing it on my own because my former partner would go for hours and it was hard to keep up... especially being a multi-orgasmic ejaculator. It gets pretty exhausting. It came (pardon the pun) pretty naturally for me, but I had the drive to learn it on my own, before I had heard of it in a training format. Yes, there are several times I've cum without being touched but only told to.

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/3/2011 4:51:44 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveamy2009
.... Can't wait to start :)

You're missing the point.

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/3/2011 5:28:06 PM

DesFIP

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You do realize that women, when denied orgasm for a period of time, turn off permanently to the guy denying them? Which means she won't care if she isn't getting any because she won't find the guy a turn on. And there's no way to reverse this.

Shortly after this happens, she decides she can do better without him, and with a cat or two. And six months from that, she'll be with a guy who does turn her on and who she's having mindblowing sex instead.

An aside: don't post under her name. It annoys everyone when they can't tell who is talking. Do get a couple profile or post under your own name instead. At the least identify yourself at the bottom of the post.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 1/3/2011 5:29:43 PM >

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/3/2011 6:14:06 PM

StrictlyKind

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I think orgasm denial is far more effective when the girl is wound up and then told she can't cum. Just saying "don't cum" has, in my experience, caused very little difficulty. However, making her watch porn, or masturbate to the brink X times per day, or read erotica to keep her in an aroused state while denying the culmination can be very entertaining for both parties.

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/3/2011 7:02:58 PM

coookie

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I agree with DesFIP personally. I become needy and psychologically clingy at best and at worst .. the old use it or lose it adage .. i lose it.
Men seem to enjoy denial more than any woman i have ever met.

If you are looking for control of her orgasm like i believe jimjones is speaking of .. research classical conditioning.

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/3/2011 7:08:18 PM

Lucylastic

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I agree with the above, specially Des
if you are going to condition cumming on command, please know that you are going to have to have the repsonsibility and humanity to "decondition" her too.

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/3/2011 7:14:06 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveamy2009

My slave and I have been together for a while now, and we would like to venture into orgasm denial. I have looked online on how to start training her. If anyone could send advice, or websites that would be great! Can't wait to start :)

~Fast Reply~

Do a few thread searches on it and work with her. Make it fun for you for both. I'll assume you've already read the oh-so-dire certainties about she'll end up leaving you, lol.

Just find the balance of denial and release that works for the both of you. Not being allowed to cum for an undetermined amount of time can be just as hot as cumming and make the eventual release even hotter.

You just gotta make sure it's something that trips her trigger and find the right balance. Like most things in life, IMHO.

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/3/2011 7:30:50 PM

porcelaine

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Greetings,

I've been through varied periods of orgasm denial in the past and never endured a lack of interest in releasing. What altered was my ability to adjust to the restriction and the intentional deviation from thoughts that stimulated the desire. Of course this was intentionally agitated by my partner and my response was varied. In time I learned to adjust and simply stopped fighting. I came to understand the frustration was an act of service much like the enjoyment that followed when he permitted me to let go. In spite of the aggravation I find many positive attributes in denial and believe it's a wonderful tool for control and bonding between all parties involved.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/3/2011 7:31:59 PM

daintydimples

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First, there is a huge difference between orgasm denial and orgasm control. Denial means no coming (generally practiced with males.) Often couples practicing this "denial" only let the sub/slave come perhaps once a month? Most females don't like it and most male doms don't see the point, but it is out there. From my experience it is much more often practiced with male subs/fem doms than male dom/ fem subs. (The whole purpose behind those devices that keep a male "contained." ) Just my experience, your mileage may vary.

Control (with females) is quite different. Before you can control a female's orgasm, you must be an expert on how to make her come. True orgasm control means having your sub/slave come at your command. Guess what? This will not happen overnight. It could take months, even years. Results (and yes I know from experience) are well worth it.

If you would like a step-by-step tutorial, pls email me on the other side.

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/3/2011 7:50:54 PM

AquaticSub

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That's a really good point dainty though I do see the terms get interchanged.

OP, would you mind clarifying which you mean?

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/4/2011 1:02:51 AM

Darkfeather

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples

First, there is a huge difference between orgasm denial and orgasm control. Denial means no coming (generally practiced with males.) Often couples practicing this "denial" only let the sub/slave come perhaps once a month? Most females don't like it and most male doms don't see the point, but it is out there. From my experience it is much more often practiced with male subs/fem doms than male dom/ fem subs. (The whole purpose behind those devices that keep a male "contained." ) Just my experience, your mileage may vary.

Control (with females) is quite different. Before you can control a female's orgasm, you must be an expert on how to make her come. True orgasm control means having your sub/slave come at your command. Guess what? This will not happen overnight. It could take months, even years. Results (and yes I know from experience) are well worth it.

If you would like a step-by-step tutorial, pls email me on the other side.

Actually, I have had some success with orgasm denial, with female subs. The key is to work up to the point of orgasm, then stave of the orgasm until allowed. I once had a very determined sub who could do full vibrator stimulation for hours at peak stimulation until I told her she could, and she really hated me. She was also the only one I knew who could go into subspace this way

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/4/2011 1:54:31 AM

CherryNeko

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well if I come before master tells me to, i get punished.
if you're not crying, you're not trying.

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/4/2011 7:02:14 AM

81song

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Good subject and it bring out again the difference between males and females. As a male to have a Domme to tell me not t cum unless she tells me too, well drive me nuts (maybe that's her point).As a male at times I love to cum more then a few times in a day sometimes. But I think as someone point out there could be a difference between orgasm denial and orgasm control.I have never seen it but I understand a Domme command a sub to right then and there to cum, that's control. As to a female it is very different and like someone said if the top denies her not to cum for a while maybe she will lose interest, I don't know. I think as a top that is what I would enjoy not letting her cum and teasing here to no end.

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/4/2011 8:58:53 AM

mbes

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Holding off for a short period of time, during play or even a couple of days, can be exquisite. Holding off for a month at a time would make me lose interest completely. No point in getting worked up, if nothing's going to come of it, so to speak!

Just start slow, and try to time it so that you are encouraging good results, rather than setting her up for failure repeatedly.

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/4/2011 6:09:12 PM

GotSteel

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I consider orgasm denial more of a mean punishment than a form of training. But then the definitions of a number of BDSM terms are rather fuzzy, the OP might well be looking for advice on orgasm delay or orgasm control.

Either way there's information on fetlife about these practices. I'd suggest looking around for groups such as: Orgasm Control Conditioning of Females

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RE: Orgasm Denial - 1/4/2011 6:32:39 PM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather
Actually, I have had some success with orgasm denial, with female subs. The key is to work up to the point of orgasm, then stave of the orgasm until allowed. I once had a very determined sub who could do full vibrator stimulation for hours at peak stimulation until I told her she could, and she really hated me. She was also the only one I knew who could go into subspace this way

That's not denial. That's control. Denial means not at all, usually not for weeks or months at a time.

Control is about waiting until permitted, and is usually restricted to a period of hours.

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