Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexually driven?

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Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexually d... - 1/5/2011 11:57:12 AM

slavetoMsJ

Posts: 3
Status: offline

Speaking for myself: To a very great extent indeed. My mistress understands this, and manipulates my sexual frustration to heighten my desire to please. I freely admit that I feel a great deal less inclined to run around finding ways to please her in the ten minutes after I've cum, and a great deal more inclined to eat a sandwich.

Anyone else want to come clean?

Post #: 1

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/5/2011 12:31:04 PM

WestBaySlave

Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline

For me, this is just the nature of male sexual energy. After we've reached climax our minds tend to wander. One can go from all-consuming ecstasy to wondering if it'll rain tomorrow in an amazingly short span.

It doesn't change my level of submission, though it's true it's much easier when aroused to push past aversions of pain, disgust, or discomfort during a scene than it is when I'm not. ( But, it's just one variable, along with mood, tiredness, and overall health. ) On the other hand, serving my man on other levels ( for example, cooking dinner for him ) is something I find pleasant and fun whether I'm horny or not, as service is more my way of showing affection towards a man I care for than something I get off on sexually.

I'd say my biggest factor in determining how focused I am on pleasing my guy is actually how much sleep I get more than anything. A week of bad nights and I'm not terribly concerned about serving well, I'm sorry to say.

(in reply to slavetoMsJ)

Post #: 2

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/5/2011 12:31:21 PM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

Speaking for my two, not at all. They're both service oriented, good partners and very much in love with me, so they enjoy pleasing me and being obedient without any direct connection to sex. Which they both get used for about as often as they have the energy to get it up, so it's not like they're ever deprived.

If it were otherwise, it would be a deal breaker for me and I wouldn't be in a relationship with them. Either you're considerate of your partner, attentive and service oriented, eg a decent human being and a good long term partner, or you're a selfish git who just wants his fetish itch scratched and who will treat his partner poorly unless he wants something. There are shades in between of course, but generally I find that a guy who loses his desire to serve after he gets off is fairly likely to be shitty relationship material. I definitely don't want him.

I treat my partners well and I expect to be treated well in return, with kindness and consideration, at all times. Not just when we're horny. For me it's framed as taking care of what's mine, for them it's framed as submissiveness and service. But the relationship dynamic doesn't end when the sex does, or it wouldn't be a good relationship for us.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to slavetoMsJ)

Post #: 3

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/5/2011 12:35:43 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Our male slave doesn't equate the desire to serve with sex in any way. it is obedient because it is simply wired that it needs to be. Given that it's a gay man and We're a het woman, this is probably a good thing. :-)

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to slavetoMsJ)

Post #: 4

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/5/2011 12:50:25 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

If I remember to do so, I will have clip come here and speak for himself along with My contribution.

In clip's case, he is much more service oriented than sexually oriented. When our dynamic first started, there was no physical sexual activity. It was only as time went on that we added that element to our dynamic. Unless he's completely wiped out (that does happen from time to time - it is good sex, after all) there's a pretty good chance that he will get up and start doing things. In fact, he's more likely to do that than I will. I'm the more likely one to want to lounge in the afterglow.

I'm not exceptionally compatible with those who base their service on how it relates to their sexual gratification. They know that I still expect them to obey, whether they have just spent themselves or not.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to slavetoMsJ)

Post #: 5

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/5/2011 1:14:26 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavetoMsJ

Speaking for myself: To a very great extent indeed. My mistress understands this, and manipulates my sexual frustration to heighten my desire to please. I freely admit that I feel a great deal less inclined to run around finding ways to please her in the ten minutes after I've cum, and a great deal more inclined to eat a sandwich.

Anyone else want to come clean?

If it works out for you and your Mistress that's all that counts, a lot of guys feel like you and some guys like to serve for the pleasure of serving, you can guess which ones are in higher demand....

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to slavetoMsJ)

Post #: 6

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/5/2011 1:57:53 PM

CherryNeko

Posts: 330
Joined: 12/29/2010
From: Mexico City
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave
After we've reached climax our minds tend to wander. One can go from all-consuming ecstasy to wondering if it'll rain tomorrow in an amazingly short span.

Guys and I have that in common.

_____________________________

How many mornings do we have
Before this night ends?
I'm dying surrounded by white flowers
Which scatter in the sky...

(in reply to WestBaySlave)

Post #: 7

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/5/2011 2:19:21 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavetoMsJ
Anyone else want to come clean?

Apparently not, no.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to slavetoMsJ)

Post #: 8

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/5/2011 8:08:44 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

as my Mistress has said i am service oriented and am eager to please Her even after play. i do enjoy cooking and cleaning. so my submission is based on my serving my Mistress and not on sex.

_____________________________

proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 9

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/5/2011 8:34:43 PM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

to what extent is your submissiveness sexually driven?

Not even remotely...

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to slavetoMsJ)

Post #: 10

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/5/2011 10:11:11 PM

omkfY

Posts: 104
Joined: 7/7/2009
From: State of Jefferson
Status: offline

Everyday submission? not at all

pushing limits? quite a bit

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 11

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/6/2011 12:26:51 AM

TheRaptorJesus

Posts: 640
Joined: 6/3/2010
Status: offline

100%. The kink part, that is.

I consider my doting and pampering to be the behavior of the best boyfriend evar, not as a sub.

< Message edited by TheRaptorJesus -- 1/6/2011 12:27:19 AM >

_____________________________

What if your God... were a motherfucking DINOSAUR?!

(in reply to omkfY)

Post #: 12

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/6/2011 8:19:44 AM

81song

Posts: 293
Joined: 1/22/2005
Status: offline

Well I guess as a male it is right there upfront but that being said being involved with D/s has shown me it is so much more then sex. Just when I thought I knew everything there was to know about my body at this point, bingo, there is something else to learn. And I am still learning and I hope that does not stop. So I guess some very kind Dommes has shown me to slow down a bit. Because as a male we all want to charge towards the door and bang the door down with our dicks. I think we have this drive and as we get older we learn to control it but it is still there. We have to live with it each and everyday. But yes sex is apart of it, very much so.

(in reply to TheRaptorJesus)

Post #: 13

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/6/2011 2:44:32 PM

ReginaMirus

Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

Speaking for my two, not at all. They're both service oriented, good partners and very much in love with me, so they enjoy pleasing me and being obedient without any direct connection to sex. Which they both get used for about as often as they have the energy to get it up, so it's not like they're ever deprived.

If it were otherwise, it would be a deal breaker for me and I wouldn't be in a relationship with them. Either you're considerate of your partner, attentive and service oriented, eg a decent human being and a good long term partner, or you're a selfish git who just wants his fetish itch scratched and who will treat his partner poorly unless he wants something. There are shades in between of course, but generally I find that a guy who loses his desire to serve after he gets off is fairly likely to be shitty relationship material. I definitely don't want him.

I treat my partners well and I expect to be treated well in return, with kindness and consideration, at all times. Not just when we're horny. For me it's framed as taking care of what's mine, for them it's framed as submissiveness and service. But the relationship dynamic doesn't end when the sex does, or it wouldn't be a good relationship for us.

THIS.

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

Post #: 14

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/6/2011 6:16:03 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

Mine is not sexual in nature. It is more endurance based. I want my mind and my body pushed to the point of exhaustion. Sexual teasing and torment can be part of the dynamic but sexual gratification is not the goal. Its about giving up mind and body control to the Domme. Service to the Domme is me willingly submitting my mind to the Domme's wants. This can be ordinary everyday things like opening the door for her, cooking, cleaning, you get the idea. Now during play that dynamic changes. Now comes in the power exchange. While I willingly submit to bondage and being whipped, my body has not submitted at this point. My muscles tense up with each strike resisting the whip, flogger or whatever device is being used. My body is fighting the domination with all its might. My body is saying bring it on, I can take it.

Tactile stimulation is used to break down my mind. Hot, cold, pain, pleasure. Alternating between pain, the sting of the whip, and pleasure, the soft touch of her hand to rub the sore spots she just whipped. Hearing the excitement in her voice, seeing the sparkle in her eyes, feeling the electricty of her touch as she is breaking me down physically.

Combing the 2, breaking my body down, and breaking my mind down to the point of exhaustion. Or said another way, to the point where she achieves total control. She owns me body and soul as this point.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to slavetoMsJ)

Post #: 15

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/6/2011 6:23:42 PM

Need4Squeeze

Posts: 25
Joined: 12/26/2010
Status: offline

I usually get sleepy after I cum...

Am I a bad person?

(in reply to mummyman321)

Post #: 16

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/6/2011 8:27:39 PM

SthrnCom4t

Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline

Otters has a slave heart. He is loyal, intelligent and a free thinker, and his motivation is to provide pleasure for others. Lucky for Me, we are amazingly compatible, so I am completely spoiled. Sex is delicious, but so is every other bit of time we get to spend together. If anything, after sex, we are even more closely energetically connected than before. Maybe that's the feminine side of him, but I'm sure as hell not going to argue with it!

_____________________________

Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim

'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

(in reply to Need4Squeeze)

Post #: 17

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/7/2011 4:03:07 AM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

Hrrm....

The extent of my submissiveness can be void of any sexuality and can manifest itself into many service orientated tasks around the house.

From what I can remember of the last time I have had sex in a D/s mechanic I felt more obliged and incredibly grateful to run around and do the tasks required of me. It is a privilege.

Sex or No Sex, Orgasm or No Orgasm. I can't even remember the last time I have had sex but I can tell you I did derive pleasure from masturbating when I was drunk on the 26th. Finally.

I would sincerely like to believe that I am more than a sexually frustrated floppy organ.

Excuse me while I scream into the microwave for no apparent reason.

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to slavetoMsJ)

Post #: 18

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/7/2011 6:22:23 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Most people have a certain regimen of what they need after play and/or sex. I don't think needing food and ten minutes down time makes one unsubmissive. Although it may make you incompatible for a partner who doesn't like giving you needed down time. But if you don't feel submissive once those needs are met, and not until you've been deprived of sex for three weeks that's something else.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 19

RE: Males, to what extent is your submissiveness sexual... - 1/7/2011 7:16:42 AM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

It is an aspect of human sexuality, once you've (theoretically) impregnated one woman, mission accomplished, you more or less automatically start thinking about impregnating the next - it's a chemical response, and works differently in everybody, impregnation isn't the only utility that sex offers, but it's not much different for women, i.e., hypothetically, it's one reason the idea of being gang banged is so attractive, though in that case, it becomes an internal competition for the most aggressive sperm.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 20

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