RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (Full Version)

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AquaticSub -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:08:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

I am NEVER HAVING SEX AGAIN.

I hope you're happy.

[8D]

(It's 2am; in the morning I won't remember any of this, it'll be fine [:D])



*snickers*

But think of the disappointed zombies....can you really let them down?



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:13:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

*snickers*

But think of the disappointed zombies....can you really let them down?

I'll send them to you, and tell them your favourite position is [whatever you call the reverse cowgirl when the guy's sitting up], because you love having your neck nibbled on...

And then I'll watch and laugh as they nibble on your neck.



AquaticSub -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:13:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

I mean totally, If i safe word... will the zombie skip over eating my brains or will they continue on... i dont mind the zombie sex... just the zombies..



I don't think they respect safe words in regards to brain eating. Of course if they did, zombie movies all need to be remade. I can see it now.

A group huddles in the fear during the onslaught. They have nowhere to go. They are running out of weapons. Little to no food. Suddenly our plucky and kinky hero gets an idea. They run out of the room - leaving the rest in a panic. Where are they going? What are they doing?

Suddenly the crowd hear a screamning cry "RED!!! RED!!! We do not consemtto brain eating!!! We need a DM!!!"

All the zombies shuffle back to where they came. Our perverted hero is celebrated through the land, kinky folk finally are accepted and the heroic ending is celebrated through song and dance by various woodland creatures.



AquaticSub -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:15:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

*snickers*

But think of the disappointed zombies....can you really let them down?

I'll send them to you, and tell them your favourite position is [whatever you call the reverse cowgirl when the guy's sitting up], because you love having your neck nibbled on...

And then I'll watch and laugh as they nibble on your neck.



Meanie!!! I don't even get off in that position.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:18:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Meanie!!! I don't even get off in that position.

Muahahahahaha, that's all part of the plan! Not only are you being nonconsensually fucked/nibbled by a zombie, you're not even enjoying it.

Sadism, I haz it.



LadyPact -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:21:13 PM)

Aqua, I'm betting you can guess what thread I thought this was when I saw the word zombie going across the scroll.  [8D]

To make this officially not a hijack, I'm thinking the appendages breaking off in body cavities could be solved with a simple medical tool, affectionately known as alligator forceps.



AquaticSub -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:21:28 PM)

That's it. I'm finding the mummies and sending them to your house. With a drum of medical grade lube. That should do the trick!



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:24:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

That's it. I'm finding the mummies and sending them to your house. With a drum of medical grade lube. That should do the trick!

I maintain, as I've said in PMs, that the bandages will absorb the lube, rendering it useless. And you know how much mummies hate chafing. I'm not scared.



AquaticSub -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:26:26 PM)

Phft. I maintain it gets whipped out. Sides, you soak 'em in a drum of medical lube and *anything* will be wet. Even century old vagina. xD



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:26:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

To make this officially not a hijack, I'm thinking the appendages breaking off in body cavities could be solved with a simple medical tool, affectionately known as alligator forceps.


In addition to never having sex again, I will now also never have a gynaecological exam again.
Ever.
I feel violated just reading this thread.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:27:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Phft. I maintain it gets whipped out. Sides, you soak 'em in a drum of medical lube and *anything* will be wet. Even century old vagina. xD


Century old vagina can't hurt me. Like I said, not scared [8D]



LadyPact -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:27:49 PM)

My work here is done!



AquaticSub -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:29:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Aqua, I'm betting you can guess what thread I thought this was when I saw the word zombie going across the scroll.  [8D]

To make this officially not a hijack, I'm thinking the appendages breaking off in body cavities could be solved with a simple medical tool, affectionately known as alligator forceps.



But we aren't sure they can handle condoms! Can they handle an alligator?

(although aren't those some of the best things in the world? I used to have a pair and I ended up using them for everything!)



AquaticSub -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:31:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

My work here is done!


I have a feeling Val is going to reward me for mischief well caused when he finally reads this.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:31:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

My work here is done!

...well at least I wasn't eating ice cream this time [8D]



SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:32:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I don't think they respect safe words in regards to brain eating. Of course if they did, zombie movies all need to be remade. I can see it now.

A group huddles in the fear during the onslaught. They have nowhere to go. They are running out of weapons. Little to no food. Suddenly our plucky and kinky hero gets an idea. They run out of the room - leaving the rest in a panic. Where are they going? What are they doing?

Suddenly the crowd hear a screamning cry "RED!!! RED!!! We do not consemtto brain eating!!! We need a DM!!!"

All the zombies shuffle back to where they came. Our perverted hero is celebrated through the land, kinky folk finally are accepted and the heroic ending is celebrated through song and dance by various woodland creatures.


But has it EVER been done?



LadyPact -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:39:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
...well at least I wasn't eating ice cream this time [8D]


You do know that I actually listed that on the 'memorable/funniest CM moments' of 2010.  [:D]



AquaticSub -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:40:01 PM)

Not that I'm aware of. It wasn't in the zombie survival guide. I vote you try it first. [:D]



AquaticSub -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:41:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
...well at least I wasn't eating ice cream this time [8D]


You do know that I actually listed that on the 'memorable/funniest CM moments' of 2010.  [:D]



I somehow missed this thread. And I am saddened by it.



SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Fucking Zombies - Undead STIs, protection and safety (1/5/2011 6:44:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Not that I'm aware of. It wasn't in the zombie survival guide. I vote you try it first. [:D]


ucky ucky hard limit no...

if theres a zombie attack theres already a written will for me...it involves my friend shooting me in the head... and cutting my body up into small enough parts that theirs nothing tasty left.



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