RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective

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MaxsGirl -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/7/2011 4:40:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OttersSwim And on the other side of the coin...we have the married, collared, submissive, girlie-boy profile which gets so covered with dust and overgrown with moss growing on it that you can barely read the words. Seriously, if you would like a quiet and restful experience, create that profile and sit back with a good stack of books! [;)] I am that profile, and yeah, it's pretty damn dust covered. [;)] My "who's viewing you" light doesn't even turn on anymore most days.

Tantriqu -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/7/2011 5:39:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mummyman321 Too many up tight catholics I love up, tight catholic sub men!

mummyman321 -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/7/2011 5:46:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tantriqu quote: ORIGINAL: mummyman321 Too many up tight catholics I love up, tight catholic sub men! Move to Cincinnati, you will be drowning in them LOL!

BlackTigerDragon -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/7/2011 7:44:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze I imagine that submissive women get much worse messages, just a hunch.... Oh man...I can't even imagine. But I could if I had a submissive female profile. Hee hee hee... Those poor submissive women. I actually feel sorry for them having to put up with messages worse than the ones I get.

eihwaz -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/7/2011 7:54:55 PM)
FR How do women feel about repeated viewing of their profiles? I occasionally revisit profiles -- of people of any orientation and gender -- when someone makes an interesting post to remind myself of who the poster is. There are also profiles I revisit because I find the profile and/or journal particularly good. Some of the regular posters on this forum may notice that I visit your profile from time to time. I thought this was fairly harmless until recently when a woman sent me an irritated cmail regarding my repeated viewing of her profile. I responded with the above explanation. However, being sensitive to the torrent of rude and abusive cmails reported by the women on cm, I wondered whether even profile visits are considered invasive.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/7/2011 8:01:09 PM)
If someone objects to their public profile being viewed, they need to reconsider being on the internet, IMO. I used to have a nice array of pics up, just so folks could look at them.

LadyPact -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/7/2011 8:18:46 PM)
I actually don't care much about the viewed profile thing. Truthfully, unless it's a name from the forums or somebody has put a lot of work in to get Me to notice, it won't register with Me. In almost four years, there have been less than five folks that actually got My attention that way. If the red light goes on (highlighted to show that somebody looked) I just click it on an off again. Women get a lot more views in a day than a male does. Forum participation increases views in both cases. Folks who are in the public scene get even more, so on and so on. I get quite a few and only the last fifteen or so show up on the page. Most of the time, when people view Me, I don't view back. I will if they have a pic that I'm going to report a photo for full frontal nudity or if they have an interesting picture that I liked. If it's just a name, it's not going to register with Me. In fact, I couldn't tell you what names will show on that top fifteen right now because none of them were names/avatars that I recognize.

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/8/2011 7:30:58 AM)
I am a female submissive. What can start off as an innocuous convo back and forth can quickly degenerate into foul msgs and the standard "you don't know protocol", "you should know to call me "sir", substitue that with "master", "do you have any more pics" code for "do you have any naked pics". I received a cmail recently that commented on the great set of boobs I had, now how could he know that when none of my pics are more than head and shoulder shots? Not even one with cleavage. It's discouraging to say the least, I once wrote back to a Dom and asked him if he'd actually speak to someone like that on the street, he said he was going to come back with a pithy remark, but after taking a few minutes to think about he realized I was right. He was the only one who ever apologized to me. The others just get deleted and blocked, and now the wonderful spam filter.

BlackTigerDragon -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/8/2011 12:22:20 PM)
It makes me wonder if females ever speak this way to the males on this site?

LillyBoPeep -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/8/2011 12:37:09 PM)
what about the lead off messages we get? i've deleted several so far that started out calling me all sorts of horrible names -- why do people think this works? and why do they think i want to see it in my inbox? descriptions of criminal acts that you intend to perform against my person really do not turn me on. and yeah -- half the time you don't reply when you're not interested because if you say "thanks but no thanks," the passive aggressive spaz on the other end is typing up yet more horrifying drivel for you to read. sometimes i wonder who in the world these people are. i have never spoken to anyone without provocation the way i've been spoken to online by people who want me to get into a relationship with them. it absolutely boggles the mind. i think sub women might get worse messages just because sociopaths and criminals can easily pass as "extreme Doms." =p as far as profile views go -- occasionally it gets my attention if i see the same name a few times. otherwise i figure they're just reading it or whatever. it doesn't bother me if i see a name several times -- what BOTHERS me are repeated messages from people after you've stated as clearly as you can that you aren't really interested. or the demands for more photos from a profile without a single photo of his own. =p or the people who ignore my "i'm not interested in race based fetishes" disclaimer. part of the reason why collarme is such an unwelcoming place (i have seriously been wondering why i signed up here again) is BECAUSE of the reception you get in the profiles section. when i signed up, i had 50+ unsolicited cmails in 30 bloody minutes.

numuncular -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/8/2011 2:40:19 PM)
A girl on her told me a few weeks ago someone messaged her offering her $10,000 to kill him and hide the body.... anyway, my own experience of this, a couple of days ago after goading someone with an obviously photoshopped 'proof' pic (you know the ones where they hold up a piece of paper with their name on it...) into asking me to make a real one for her, then calling her out on it and getting a torrent of abuse off her I made a shadow profile exposing what she'd done. that obviously fake to anyone who had spent a second looking at it profile got a truly horrific volume of mail quite quickly, some bizzare, some awful. one was the same copy and pasted message actually put in twice. I get a bit bummed when I send a message and its not even read but I sort of know why now. I know thats naughty but really. the abuse had to be answered.

paganvictim -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/17/2011 3:41:27 PM)
Which woman? Where are they?

hausboy -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/17/2011 6:53:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon It makes me wonder if females ever speak this way to the males on this site? I happened to me once, but only once. A Domme who felt she needed to assert herself as my Domme before we even discussed the full details of the possibility of any kind of interaction. I found it to be a bit ridiculous, and there was lots of eyeball rolling on my end. It just told me that she was not as experienced as she claimed to be--the Dommes/Doms I play with and am attracted to don't need to TELL me how much of a Domme they are. They just are. (reminds me of the old butch pissing contests....if you have tell me how much more butch you are...then ya ain't, Blanche, ya ain't...) edited: typo

LadyConstanze -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/18/2011 7:59:04 AM)
OMG, hausboy you just triggered my pet hate, somebody who behaves super domly all the time and is trying to domme anything that moves and even inanimate objects... One of the very best dommes I've ever had the pleasure to be friends with, is a soft spoken, amazingly polite lady, she doesn't walk around boasting about her "dominance" and barking commands she doesn't need to because even vanilla guys and girls are bending over backwards to be the first ones who follow her polite requests...

Scala -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/18/2011 10:54:33 AM)
There is one lady on collar me who I would dearly love to contact, as I think that I fullfil most of what she is looking for. The problem is that her profile clearly states, "you must be younger than me". Unfortunately I am one year older. So every couple of months and for the last two years I look to see if she has changed this sentance. ... and until then i will respect her wishes. I do wonder what she thinks when she regulary sees my name as viewing her profile.

LadyConstanze -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/18/2011 11:19:14 AM)
Scala, politely express your admiration, say you are not going to bug her since you are a year older than she is, if you could do time travel you would for her, until then you admire her from afar or wait until she changes her profile... You just wanted to explain to her why you keep viewing her profile and you hope she doesn't mind. That should not be too pushy or creepy, and the worst that can happen is that she won't write back, or will tell you politely that she still feels the same way about her requirements.... Big difference to pushing yourself on somebody and politely making contact, think about all the wanker mails we get on a daily basis, a nice mail from you possibly would be a welcome change for her!

LadyPact -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/18/2011 12:04:27 PM)
I actually don't agree with that, LadyC. I have something similar in My profile. That I'm only interested in receiving correspondence from people who are local to Me or from the forums. I'll be very honest here. I can't stand getting notes that say, "I know you said this, but I'm contacting you anyway". To Me that says that they knew My preferences and flat out chose to ignore them. Oh, it will get a response from Me. I will write back and tell them that I believe it makes them rude.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/18/2011 12:11:21 PM)
I agree with LP, I get notes that say shit like "wish yu did XXX" and they all get the hairy eyeball. I wish I weighed 120, I wish I were a millionaire, I wish we had startrek beaming technology. Whoopdedoo. Get over it, move on.

LadyConstanze -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/18/2011 12:14:59 PM)
But since he is looking at her profile frequently, it would be polite to explain why, also to tell her he respects her choices and just being polite... In between all the "I want..." and "I said GO now go and instant domme me" mails I sometimes just get a friendly "Just wanted to say hello, know we're not compatible but I looked at your profile and thought it would be polite to introduce myself...." mail, and I usually write back and I'm just friendly, those kinda mails actually make me open mails from people I don't know, among all the drivel there is sometimes and nice mail.

SweetDommes -> RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless male's perspective (1/18/2011 12:27:52 PM)
I'm with LP and Hib - if someone messages and states that they wish they could meet our criteria or that they wish they could serve us but ... "x,y,z", it's almost like nails on a chalkboard. To me, it smacks of extreme arrogence and conceit - i.e. "I know you think you don't want someone of X age or who lives farther away than Z miles, but I'm so wonderful that you'll ignore all of your preferences for me."

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