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RE: question about the "submissive balance sheet&q... - 1/7/2011 2:56:59 PM

DesFIP

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But a man who is proud of having a smart woman is incredibly hot. Unfortunately most men are insecure and afraid the woman they are with will know when he's bullshitting her. A confident man who just laughs and embraces her when caught out is the one you want.

My father had a friend/business associate who we entertained fairly often. I had known his wife for 20 years before I realized she had any brains. The men went off fishing one day and this smart cookie appeared. They came back and she went back to the dumb blonde routine. Saddest thing I had ever seen. I cheered after he died and she married a man who was proud of her intelligence.

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RE: question about the "submissive balance sheet&q... - 1/7/2011 3:18:30 PM

sexyred1

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That is indeed sad and I have seen this in action before.

I would rather be alone than dumb myself down. I swear, a few weeks ago after another annoying date even my MOTHER, who should know better since she is super smart and so is Dad, said to me, "honey, maybe you should try not to be so smart on a first date".

I said, "I cannot believe you said that" and she said, "yes, you are right, lost my head for a second because I want you to meet someone great."

I said, "if he is great, he will value my brain."

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RE: question about the "submissive balance sheet&q... - 1/7/2011 3:46:59 PM

osf

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own the body, own the mind, make good use of both

slaves ran the roman empire

< Message edited by osf -- 1/7/2011 3:47:28 PM >

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RE: question about the "submissive balance sheet&q... - 1/7/2011 3:52:58 PM

CaringandReal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

I have total visual recall (99th percentile). Does that make me smart?

Not sure. But it certainly makes you interesting! I hope you tell the dominants you approach about that skill. It sounds like a valuable one.

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RE: question about the "submissive balance sheet&q... - 1/7/2011 6:09:03 PM

mummyman321

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

I have total visual recall (99th percentile). Does that make me smart?

Not sure. But it certainly makes you interesting! I hope you tell the dominants you approach about that skill. It sounds like a valuable one.

While I see it as a definite strength I would feel weird outwardly advertising it as a skill to a Domme. I wondered why I could remember numbers after seeing them just once as well as directions and other things. I did not know it was a visual thing until later. I did not find out I had a photographic memory until I got hurt at work in my early 30's. As part of the workers comp program mandatory skill testing was done. They did an IQ test. During the testing I scored off the charts in a certain area. So they brought me back for another full day of testing. The whole time they did not tell me what they were testing me for. At the end of the day the psychologist said she had never seen anything like it. I scored 100% on every visual recall test. While its neat to brag about from time to time, I have been this way my whole life, so I just see it as part of who I am.

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RE: question about the "submissive balance sheet&q... - 1/7/2011 9:25:54 PM

TreasureKY

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I'm glad I didn't list intelligence as an asset; I'd hate to be on the hot seat for it.

It would seem reasonable that most people would use for comparison their experiences with others they have encountered most in their life. It's a bit hard to compare yourself against unknown qualities.

For example... with an IQ of 146, if I had spent most of my life around people who had significantly higher IQs, I'd probably consider myself to be a dunce. (Assuming I placed a lot of value on IQ ratings... which I don't.) Conversely, if the majority of people with whom I had interacted in life fell below the average IQ of 100, I'd probably view myself as a genius.

In either situation, it is not my intelligence that has changed, but my perception.

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RE: question about the "submissive balance sheet&q... - 1/7/2011 9:59:57 PM

Need4Squeeze

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I think most people like to consider themselves intelligent. At least in 'some ways'.

IMO It's dangerous ground to claim the ability to see and assess the intelligence of others. Particularly people you don't know. It's kinda like saying "I'm so smart, I can tell how smart you are". (we probably all do it at times)

Some people are much better and more eloquent when explaining themselves. This combined with new ideas and perspectives will often have me thinking someone is a pretty smart cookie.

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RE: question about the "submissive balance sheet&q... - 1/7/2011 11:08:37 PM

LillyBoPeep

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a man who's intimidated by a smart girl is just not someone i want in my life. =p if the only way to find someone "great" is to dumb yourself down, then that guy can't be all that great. =p

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RE: question about the "submissive balance sheet&q... - 1/11/2011 10:47:16 AM

agirl

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I didn't mention intelligence as it hasn't much to do with MY relationship. I'm obviously fine, no matter where or how my intelligence lay, in my relationship, and he's obviously fine for me. I don't see it as an asset OR a hindrance. The things that I looked at were things I could possibly influence and my IQ isn't one of them.

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RE: question about the "submissive balance sheet&q... - 1/11/2011 8:31:47 PM

IrishMist

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I did not even think to list 'intelligence' as an assest or a liability; mainly because intelligence is too subjective. While some would view intelligence only by the hardest 'core' definition (IQ scores, etc), I myself, see it in a totally different light. And still others would view it different from me and those within the 'hardcore' circle.

Intelligence, when used to place a person at a percentile or such, means absolutly nothing to me. Intelligence, when used to explain letters after a name (MD, PhD, etc...) means absolutly nothing to me.

A person who can hold a good conversation, on a good number of subjects; that to me, is a measure of a person's intelligence.

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RE: question about the "submissive balance sheet&q... - 1/12/2011 11:51:36 AM

CaringandReal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: something1343
What exactly does it mean when some of you say that your intelligence is an asset?

I'm not one of those people, but naturally I have an opinion about it. ;) I only think intelligence is an asset in a submissive or slave if she (or her dominant/master) controls it rather than letting it control her. It can be used properly as a tool, then. It's one of the easist personality traits to identify with: many people clearly feel their "I"--their real self--is intimately interconnected with the quality of their thoughts. I think that is why intelligence becomes important to many people. They feel as though it is an intrinsic and essential part of who they are, not just something like... oh, good driving skills, say, that they posses. And because of that identification, intelligence can sometimes be a liability as well--at least if you are submissive or, even moreso, aspiring to slavery.

Sometimes this identification changes if you find that most of your best thoughts fly in from your unconscious mind. Not everyone has this experience, but in that specific case it's harder to claim credit for thinking--or identify yourself with your thoughts--because you have no memory of creating them. They just come, fully formed, from out of nowhere. So they are not you--they are winged messengers from something (someone?) else.

I identify my "I" more closely with my feelings. They seem more "true me" than my thoughts, which are kind of random and spontaneous--not really the stuff of a consistent self. I use my feelings to understand things, and I think I do so far better with them than I would with thought. And frankly, to me, it is far more relaxing and enjoyable to be "the dumb one." Think about it. (heh) When you are "the dumb one" you can learn a great deal from the "smarter one," stuff you'd never learn if the roles were reversed or if you and the other person were approximately equal. Also, as a submissive, I think it's far more fun when you think of a good idea, to get a condescending pat on the head like a doggie who has learned a new trick rather than to have someone go, "By George! That's astounding!" (Yeah, so maybe it is astounding, but "I" didn't think it--it came out of that peculiar black lagoon over on the other side of my brain. :/ ) Because of these personal preferences, and because I will not fake it (being the dumb one) unless ordered to, I very much prefer my friends and dominant partners to be far, far smarter than myself, as smart as they can get and still tolerate being around someone like me. Luckily, a lot of very smart people do not seem to mind having a doggie around them who can learn new tricks. :) I get it, I love my pet too, and think the world of her and her companionship, even though she cannot speak or intellectualize with me.

< Message edited by CaringandReal -- 1/12/2011 12:00:15 PM >

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RE: question about the "submissive balance sheet&q... - 1/12/2011 6:31:12 PM

Twoshoes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
But a man who is proud of having a smart woman is incredibly hot. Unfortunately most men are insecure and afraid the woman they are with will know when he's bullshitting her. A confident man who just laughs and embraces her when caught out is the one you want.

Well, I've never been intimidated by smart women - even ones who manage to prove me wrong.

What I wonder about sometimes is if women are intimidated/turned off by my emotional intelligence (something ascribed to women in stereotypes). I used to hide that I'm sensitive when I was younger (and still do sometimes), but these days I'm fairly unapologetic about it. But I get the dumbing oneself down thing; I've done it to fit in.

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RE: question about the "submissive balance sheet&q... - 1/12/2011 6:34:54 PM

sirssubk2008

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quote:

ORIGINAL: something1343

I'm not suggesting that I was expecting a representation of the normal population here Steven, but instead, am more interested in where people for themselves define the line.

About 70% of the people who filled out the list self-report being intelligent.
Even when taken into account that a medium like this will bias towards intelligence, it would be hard to believe that 70% of submissive answering the question fall within the top 10 or even top 20 percentile wise, when compared with the general population.
I find it unlikely that 70% of the people answering the question would have an IQ above 120 or even above 113 (the 90th and 80th percentile marks).

Therefore, that would suggest that at least part of the people who self-identified as being intelligent mean something else by it than just having a significantly higher IQ than average.

I'm in no way suggesting that these people may be incorrect when self-identifying as intelligent, I'm merely interested to find out what exactly it is that makes them feel they are intelligent. How they define that for themselves, and how they compare it to others.

Hmmm, I think maybe I found a tutor for me for statistics....yay! lol

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RE: question about the "submissive balance sheet&q... - 1/12/2011 6:39:55 PM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I think it's skewed because less verbal people don't frequent message boards.

On top of that some folks, like my ex and my current date, wouldn't really have the time to be much on such message boards...

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