xssve
Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
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Reminds me of one of my lines from the vanilla days:
Her: "but you won't respect me anymore"!
Me: "But I don't respect you now"!
I think objectification play is a largely a verbal ploy, punching buttons, with the end of eliciting a particular response and requires close observation - i.e., even women into this I've found, typically have certain words that turn them on, others that shut them down. It can get very specific, and flying blind you really have to be able to read the body language.
True objectification, by contrast, is a state of delusion - you really do think of her as nothing but a "cum dumpster", etc. rather than a warm, generous and willing partner - it's often actually a form of distancing, i.e., self loathing projected onto the object of lust, lust being a form of "weakness", etc.
The inescapable fact is that abstractionis a Two edged sword, and it takes Two to tango: if you're a slut, then I must be a slutmonger, you can't have it both ways.
Religion is rife with it, Eve the temptress, etc., and a lot of people, sadly, have this number done on their heads early on, and have a hard time escaping it - it's literally mistaking an abstract symbol for an actual person with thoughts and feelings, and it's very evident on the political level, objectificiton of gays, muslims, etc., essentially the same mechanism as racism, de-humanizing the "opposition".
So, I don't know about love, as Strong Spirit points out, there are many forms of love, and biologically, it is akin to some form of madness, but in a good way - it often blinds us somewhat to the little annoying things that people do that would ordinarily get them on each others nerves - i.e., denial is not always a bad thing, optimism and pessimism being equally delusional, optimism is healthier and less stressful.
But, I think the bottom line is, one needs to be recognized as and appreciated as a unique human being, call it what you will, validation, or simply being, as opposed to non-being, to exist.
The real danger here is that you'll begin objectifying yourself - objectification was recently demonstrated in a study to suppress cognitive response. Women, particularly, did worse on cognitive tests after being sexually objectified, being hooted and whistled at as they walked down the hall in pumps and skirts or something, but did much better when they took the test with other women, and the objectification stressor removed.
Now the objectification here can only be self-objectification, nobody can make you feel anything, but it can be run into the ground, I suspect, and there is a lot of cultural priming going on in this relatively competitive culture where "psyching out" and attempting to instill self doubt in the competition is a common tactic, I suspect you can come up with numerous examples without straining yourself overmuch.
It should also be remembered that putting someone on a pedestal is a form of objectification as well, being confined to any socio-sexual role exclusively; whether its a "slut" or a "mother", both are equally objectifying, regardless of the pejorative aspect of the respective symbols, each denying some other facet of your wholistic personality.
Anyway, I read a definition of love on a profile in here some time back, that said, paraphrasing, "love is being with someone who lets you love yourself" and I think that is incredibly wise, and applies whether it means allowing you to embrace your inner slut, or any other facet of your personality.
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RE: Love Without Respect - 
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