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RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/1/2006 5:56:27 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve
submissives: you have been involved with a Dominant long enough that you are to the point of vaginal intercorse with He or She. Do you also allow the Dominant anal access?

I was not aware an established period of time was needed to elapse before I got to the point where I was gradually "allowed" access to certain orifices of my girl's body. Should I be ashamed to say that I make full use of what is mine when I so desire? I think not. I have no use for those who would deem to make me dominant.

(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 21

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/1/2006 5:56:41 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

desole, I forgot.........I am 44

(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 22

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/1/2006 6:01:42 PM

genvieve

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve
submissives: you have been involved with a Dominant long enough that you are to the point of vaginal intercorse with He or She. Do you also allow the Dominant anal access?

I was not aware an established period of time was needed to elapse before I got to the point where I was gradually "allowed" access to certain orifices of my girl's body. Should I be ashamed to say that I make full use of what is mine when I so desire? I think not. I have no use for those who would deem to make me dominant.

That's all well and good, Sir. And if you find a submissive who hasn't a problem with all means of intercorse, that's fabulous. But, please...let me clarify. i'm not speaking about topping from the bottom. we as submissives give You the power to Dominate us. we communicate what we wish to do and wish not to do.

i am not speaking about a M/s relationship... i'm speaking of a first time, no strings attatched sexual scene. Is it right of the Dominant to demand every hole that He or She wants?

_____________________________

In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 23

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/1/2006 6:05:07 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve

Ok...this is my fault. i apperantly need to revise the question. And thank you all for your responses...however varried, they are quite the elightenment.

i use the word allow because it is my believe that we as submissives allow the Dominant access to us. It is easy to say that they have access to everything and anything...but what about polotics? Does the Dominant have the right to tell you how to vote? Or is that different all together.

So... i would like to modify the question.

Will you, upon playing with the Dominant for the very first time (assuming that vaginal sex is allowed) also allow anal sex? Be honest. And i appreciate the giving of age groups...this helps a lot.

That would depend on the dynamic and I am still 38...lol

_____________________________

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(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 24

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/1/2006 6:06:10 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve
Will you, upon playing with the Dominant for the very first time (assuming that vaginal sex is allowed) also allow anal sex? Be honest. And i appreciate the giving of age groups...this helps a lot.

Depends on the person and has absolutely nothing to do with what orientation they are coming from.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 25

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/1/2006 6:08:00 PM

genvieve

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline

Do you mean to tell me that you haven't chanced the origin of your sex in the past 10 minutes? ~gasp~ i'm shocked...shocked, i tell you.

_____________________________

In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 26

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/1/2006 6:10:00 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

That's all well and good, Sir. And if you find a submissive who hasn't a problem with all means of intercorse, that's fabulous. But, please...let me clarify. i'm not speaking about topping from the bottom. we as submissives give You the power to Dominate us. we communicate what we wish to do and wish not to do.

i am not speaking about a M/s relationship... i'm speaking of a first time, no strings attatched sexual scene. Is it right of the Dominant to demand every hole that He or She wants?

The key phrase here is, "no strings attached sexual scene". If there are no strings attached, then the Dominant in question has no right to demand anything, does s/he?

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 27

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/1/2006 8:08:00 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

Opps forgot too... i'm 32

With one Dom i had anal sex with Him before vaginal sex.
Well not immediately but you know what i mean.

When i say i submit all of me i mean i give free use of my body. How i vote or my views on issues would be a completely seperate issue. Plus other then in discussion or debate he has nothing to do with them. I love the mental aspect of D/s but that doesn't mean i'll let someone else think for me.

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(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 28

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/1/2006 8:18:50 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve

i am not speaking about a M/s relationship... i'm speaking of a first time, no strings attatched sexual scene. Is it right of the Dominant to demand every hole that He or She wants?

Many of the answers you have received are from slaves who are in established M/s relationships. The OP did not make clear that you meant a more casual type of "scene."

My Master was training me and I was under consideration as his slave the first time he used me. That was two months into our relationship. And yes, he took and used what he wanted. That was two years ago. I was 38 and he was 55. Add 2 and you get our current ages :)

When you say submissives communicate what we do and do not wish to do, that typically excludes slaves...at least this slave. You see, I want his pleasure, so however he wishes to use me to please himself with, is my desire. And that's a good thing, considering it is his right to do what he wants with me.

(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 29

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/1/2006 8:27:40 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

could turn into this.... so i'll just say.... alot of what's been said about covers this. It's all in what's discussed going into whatever scene you're entering.... on that note... i'll shut up and go about my business....

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Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 30

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/1/2006 8:37:57 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
When you say submissives communicate what we do and do not wish to do, that typically excludes slaves...at least this slave. You see, I want his pleasure, so however he wishes to use me to please himself with, is my desire. And that's a good thing, considering it is his right to do what he wants with me.

I don't think it's a slave/sub thing at all.

I do think it's a "Do you have an overarching authority dynamic which is inclusive and thus does not need further discussion" versus "Do you have a relationship that gets discussed point by point."

There's lots of slaves and masters who will DISCUSS whether to do a certain activity. There are masters who will say "I'm flexible on this, so if you have strong feelings, I'm ok with not doing that." Especially for newbies who might not have realized exactly what was entailed, going back a few steps and covering ground might be a necessary adjustment.

As always, it has nothing to do with what the master does or does not decide to do- it's who has the authority to make that final decision.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 31

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/1/2006 9:12:18 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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That's why I referred to myself specifically "...at least this slave."

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 32

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/2/2006 6:12:06 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

Does the Dominant have the right to tell you how to vote?

Absolutely, of course he has the right to tell you, however, as to you actually voting the way he tells you...well that is between you and your concience, after all its just you in that booth.

_____________________________

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(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 33

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/2/2006 6:19:18 AM

fullofgrace

Posts: 395
Joined: 3/24/2006
From: fl, usa
Status: offline

i'm 18, He is 53. He has access to me in whatever way He wishes, but He understands also that i have past issues that make it difficult (in addition to physically) to adjust to some sensations, anal sex among them - so we're approaching that very slowly and haven't gone through with it yet. however, i am looking forward to it and i certainly wouldn't deny Him that.

but, as someone else said, what you negotiate with your dominant is completely between the two of you. if you're not comfortable with it - don't do it. i was in a serious relationship with my Dominant and would have had anal sex with Him before we actually recognized and acknowledged the D/s feelings undercurrent in our relationship...so it was naturally a part of our contract. but it's really up to you - what works for everyone won't work for you.

_____________________________

i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 34

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/2/2006 6:17:10 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

O.K., you said you did not mind if dominants responded and you clarified that you were speaking of a first time scene so here goes:

Of the submissives I have been with (in a manner beyond conversational) who had no problem with anal...both those I have been involved with on a casual level and those few that I have been with on a longer-term level...there was no anal the first time that sexual play as well as BDSM play was involved except in one case. Reasons ranged from "That's something special that I just don't do with a dominant that I am just playing with, even if I respect him enough to play with him" to "the pain and prep to do anal with someone is not worth it for a 4 day weekend with a dominant that I am not yet in a long-term relationship with" to other reasons. The main thread seemed to be that it was seen as something special...to be engaged in with someone in a long-term relationship but not on the short term.

Maybe the difference was the ages.

Most of the ones who felt this way were in my decade or close. The one who had no problem with it was ...younger.

Personally, I can understand the idea of a submissive not wanting to do everything that she would do with someone she was involved with on a longer-term basis, with someone that she was not.

(in reply to fullofgrace)

Post #: 35

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 5/9/2006 3:57:05 PM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve

i am not speaking about a M/s relationship... i'm speaking of a first time, no strings attatched sexual scene. Is it right of the Dominant to demand every hole that He or She wants?

First let me say, when I was very young and first married, my husband introduced me to anal sex. I was 18 and enjoyed it throughly. It had nothing to do with BDSM, it had to do with two people enjoying each other's bodies. (This was nearly 40 years ago!)

As someone mentioned, some men don't care for anal sex... <shrugs> so, I have done this with some; not with others. I would say, I prefer it (though for risk of my breakfast falling straight through; I wouldn't want the activity every day!)

What I will add is, I have had very few 'no strings attached' sex scenes, if any. I absolutely need to have some sort of connection for intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, submission, power exchange to happen. The first time I 'sleep' with a guy we'll likely have intercourse and maybe, perhaps, possibly oral sex (though I had a guy wig-out once cuz I swallowed, but I guess THAT is another story! LOL ), but probably not anal sex that first time. I, personally, feel I need to let a relationship develop slowly before I feel comfortable with some things.

In fact, I took some 'likes' off my profile because I had idiots e-mailing me asking to meet for such activities! (Hey baby, I'll be in Colorado next summer...) Sheeshhhhhh

Back to the topic at hand...in the same vein...I need to get to know a man before I offer myself up as 'His'. So, untill then...he demands nothing of me; we're just two people getting to know each other. But then, perhaps I'm not a 'true submissive'. <shrugs>

To each their own, huh?

PS

quote:

I don't take what I want from my girls because I can... I take what I can because it is pleasurable and free from harm for my girls.

...KnightofMists, I think yer awesome!

(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 36

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 6/22/2008 4:00:00 PM

morganaravenwolf

Posts: 4
Joined: 6/12/2008
Status: offline

Alright, well for me at first I was terrified to it, and as such it was used as a punishment. I flat out stated that I did not want to do it but that it was really his decision. He didn't do it for at least a month of us being together. But as I got punished with it, I started to really like it and now I beg for it all the time. Oh...and I'm turning 20 next weekend and he's 33.

(in reply to Bearlee)

Post #: 37

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 6/22/2008 4:33:00 PM

MrRandallspe

Posts: 110
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline

I am 50, been into BDSM since I was 17 and have highly enjoyed every moment of it.
I do not force any subs/slaves into presenting that butt for me to take. We discuss what I expect and when the timing is right,I do enjoy that butt. Everyone has given it up to me,some right away,others a bit later.

pissdoll, I do enjoy how you worded your response...very interesting.

(in reply to morganaravenwolf)

Post #: 38

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 6/22/2008 7:56:52 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

I'm glad I noticed this was a resurrected two-year-old thread before I got all worked up about it.

Uhhhh, my answer is... it's all sexual, after all I don't negotiate whether we're going to kiss, or whether he's going to suck my nipples. I don't reserve anal sex for some mysterious "special" moment in the future, because it's all part of sex (to me).

Cali

_____________________________

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(in reply to MrRandallspe)

Post #: 39

RE: Allowences from the submissive - 6/22/2008 7:58:22 PM

fluffyswitch

Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline

it has been determined that that area of my body doesn't take well to intruders so we just leave well enough alone...

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(in reply to genvieve)

Post #: 40

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