quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn
I mean, really, human beings coax, cajole and browbeat other human beings, but training is best left to animal handlers.  Do what you are comfy with, up to and including experimentation.  Beyond that, it's all personal preferences on how things should be done around that person.  Only 'training' a submissive needs is to learn how to bellow a safeword, if possible, or otherwise convey the need to stop right then and there...

- Dustyn

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn
I mean, really, human beings coax, cajole and browbeat other human beings, but training is best left to animal handlers.  Do what you are comfy with, up to and including experimentation.  Beyond that, it's all personal preferences on how things should be done around that person.  Only 'training' a submissive needs is to learn how to bellow a safeword, if possible, or otherwise convey the need to stop right then and there...

- Dustyn

I have a different perspective on training. 

My local partner a year ago would have taken ten minutes to be able to bring up that he had an idea that he wanted to share, then much coaxing to actually bring it up, followed by another five minutes of caveats and apologies- that's how insecure and embarassed he was about communicating his desires.

Now?  It only takes him a minute, and he regularly brings them up on his own without any coaxing from me.

That was a concious work on my part.  It was something I wanted him to get to from the beginning, it was something we've worked together on and that I've trained him towards (and still am) and he will quite easily let people know that it's my work and guidance that got him to this point.

Now, he's not a dog just playing fetch (that can be fun too though), our time together, security together and his own sense of self security were key points as well- but it was due in large part to my conscious and focused training on this aspect that has gotten him to where he is now.

Training can be for lots of things- including one's perspectives, habits, processing and more.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn
Now to me, that isn't what I think of when the word 'training' comes up.  What you did, in my mind, is encourage him to be secure enough in the relationship to speak his mind without fear of rejection, ridicule or anything else.

You train dogs to sit... you potty train little kids... you don't train grown adults, short of job requirements... But that's just me and my point of view usually only works for me...
- Dustyn

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn

I can just see the ad in the newspaper now:

Submissive ISO Dominant
Required 5 years experience, with references.

LOL

- Dustyn

quote:

ORIGINAL: mysticalfaerie

Hello everyone, I have a question, recently I started talking to someone and entered into a relationship with them. He is newer to the lifestyle and wants to train me. I have had other people say that they want to train me however the guy im seeing is concerned that i would develop feelings for that person. He has friends in the lifestyle that he could turn to and ask for help and he is willing to read up and gain more knowledge on this but I was wondering what you all think about a novice training a novice and everything that surrounds that.