Relocation, be sure you know

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MHOO314 -> Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 3:53:59 PM)
what you are getting in to when you write that you will relocate. This is in response to more than a gizillion profiles that state relocation--with Im sure about 1% who really do---so here's the test--spend a weekend looking aound, really looking--at friends, your daily pattern, your home/house, your things, your stuff--your support group---the things you need to pack, leave, childrens lives, school friends---your address where everything comes, your Dr, your pharmacy, your familly. Now think of the task of moving--packing, saying goodbye, starting all over where the only reason you are there is H/him or H/her-the cost of moving, starting new---is it enough? We do see stories like LittlePita where it worked, but we have seen may many more where it is a ruse, or where people when faced with it get cold feet--- Be careful, make sure you know what you are getting into--the thought of being carted off to some Dominants palatial home where you will serve naked is fantasy--especially when the cold hard slap of reality sets in. Thoughts?

Chaingang -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 3:57:45 PM)
Is this the "obvious" thread? [:D]

Reasonable -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 3:58:04 PM)
be sure both houses are in order.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 4:07:30 PM)
And, no offense to Pita, but they are still in the very new beginnings of living together. Situations that last more than 2 years are even less likely. Sometimes relocating is the best choice, but my advice is that there's really no reason to rush these things and plenty of reasons NOT to rush.

Dustyn -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 4:12:04 PM)
If you are moving just to make someone else happy, you may as well throw your head up high and blow your brains out, as the Bloodhound Gang song goes. Move for yourself, and if there is that added benefit of someone else, then hey, that much more the better. Move for a better neighborhood, job and life. Don't move for a relationship. If none of the rest of it is there, you've wasted a lot of money that will prolly be needed to start over yet again later down the road. - Dustyn

MHOO314 -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 4:14:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chaingang Is this the "obvious" thread? [:D] I wish it was CG, but it seems to be happening more and more--people want to look outside their world for new inspiration, new adventures until the smell of rubber from the moving truck hits the road---and it ain't latex baby. <smiles>

Wulfchyld -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 4:22:36 PM)
I posted this in another thread, this seems like a good place to snip and stick it. quote: Well girl, before you get all packed up and such I would advise a few visits first. After that all goes well you defiantly need to hammer out the arrangement of time spent. Remember your Master is being responsible for your mental, emotional, and physical well being. That means if you have an issue, bring up first and foremost. If you go with your tongue bitten between your teeth and just “hope” it will all work out, you my find yourself broke with no place to go. Anything and everything you may have issue with, bring up. Question your role and everything that is your new life. Do not think because you are slave/sub that you cant. You are going with the intent of committing your life to your Master. Make sure the life, expectations, et al are what you and they can cope with and work within. I think I can when there exists a definitive station does not work. You will need to be a willow as well as your sister slave. Your master is the oak, yet he needs to be flexible and fair in this new endeavor. Make sure all aspects have compromise so all of you can find harmony. Wishing you my best Loki Good topic!

juliaoceania -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 4:26:15 PM)
I have that on my profile because I am planning on relocating anyways, probably to Southern California, possibly to the Sacramento area. I cannot stand the area I am in and I have no problem leaving it for the right person. I am applying to UCLA, UC San Diego, and UC Davis (possibly a few others). But as for your point, I suspect only a very delusional person would think it will be all roses and romance every day once their dream sub/dom/me is with them all the time. I would not relocate outside of California either. I state this unequivocably on profile... do not bother if you are not in California and not within a reasonable driving distance because I would never live with someone I had not spent significant time with in the real world. I think there are many people like me, they travel between cities, have family in other cities, or they are looking to relocate somewhere new, need a new start. It is not always just about a sub/dpm they met on collarme...lol

Chaingang -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 4:26:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross And, no offense to Pita, but they are still in the very new beginnings of living together. Situations that last more than 2 years are even less likely. This seems obnoxiously critical and pessimistic. What situations? Why is the 2 year mark of importance? I thought you poly types called the media if you made it passed 6 months...

meatcleaver -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 4:27:47 PM)
I'm in the fortunate position of being able to do my current work where I find myself and the very thought of relocating to a place I don't know sends shivers through me. There are a lot of places out there with names that sound romantic but are the most tedious and god forsaken places on the planet. Sooner or later you have to put the flogger away and have to look around outside. The only places I would consider relocating to are London, Paris, New York, Berlin, Amsterdam, Tokyo or Madrid but I don't need a new partner to relocate to one of those. Hmm. I already visit three of those places fairly regularly.

Rayne58 -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 4:53:02 PM)
I moved from New Zealand to Australia to live with Master in January of 04. The relationship is great, in fact over the time it has just got better and better. I really had nothing holding me in the little rural area I used to live in, apart from my daughter who lived quite happily with her father. Here I am free to be who I really am. It's hard to come out as a bisexual submissive among very conservative people, some of whom have known you since you were 6 years old [8\|] I have made friends here who are very accepting and have found a whole new world of love and laughter and kink[:D] It's only a 3 hour flight between countries and I am able to go back and visit whenever I wish. My daughter is here visiting us at the moment - it's fun showing my farm girl the life of the big city![;)] The rest of the family I am in touch with using email, phone and IM. It was quite a culture shock for me but I'm getting used to it [:)]

Littlepita -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 5:10:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross And, no offense to Pita, but they are still in the very new beginnings of living together. Situations that last more than 2 years are even less likely. Sometimes relocating is the best choice, but my advice is that there's really no reason to rush these things and plenty of reasons NOT to rush. LA, I didn't take offense. In fact, when I saw my name on the OP's post I had my Joe (JassWolf on CM) slide over and read this thread along with me. We both agreed with you. Of course, what I did was a huge gamble and of course, there is absolutely no guarantee that we will last forever like we are hoping for. That is life isn't it? When I relocated, it was because I needed and wanted out of my situation. My life wasn't what I wanted and after thinking everything through as best I could, I decided to take a big leap of faith. We do marvel at how well it’s going for us and how much we really believe that we will be one of the lucky ones who make it. We also know we can’t get lazy and take it each other for granted. A happy relationship is nurtured constantly so that it thrives. Is the two-year mark because that is statistically the case with most relationships? Just curious about why you picked two years.

twicehappy -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 5:11:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 Thoughts? Some, for instance it is possible to do it and make it work. I know, i have. It is also possible to make a trip for nothing, i've done that also. Got of the train, took one look at person i went to meet, said hell no, rented a car and left. I am deliriously happy in my collar here, and i flew 2000 miles on a leap of faith, never having met my perspective owners before. It can and does work out for us lucky ones. The obvious thought to tell anyone contemplating this; cover your ass! But also take that leap. If you live afraid what’s the point. Admittedly there were no children involved or it would have been different, your children come first.

twicehappy -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 5:13:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chaingang quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross And, no offense to Pita, but they are still in the very new beginnings of living together. Situations that last more than 2 years are even less likely. This seems obnoxiously critical and pessimistic. What situations? Why is the 2 year mark of importance? I thought you poly types called the media if you made it passed 6 months... I was in a poly relationship that lasted 18 years should i have called the media?

LadiesBladewing -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 5:17:18 PM)
We tend to work with local individuals, but if someone wants to relocate to the area, we tell them that they're welcome to, but they need to consider it a PERSONAL relocation first. They need to get themselves settled (we'll help them find a place to live close by where we are, if they want), they need to find a job, and they need to spend the first 3-4 months at a minimum , getting settled and finding out whether they really -do- fit as well in our household as they think they will. At some point down the road, I hope to be instrumental in creating a co-housing community (or 5 or 6 of them). These offer an exceptional opportunity to be part of a communal environment, and still have a measure of "thinking space" for oneself, which I believe is crucial when starting out in a new relationship of -any- ilk. If someone doesn't want to live here on their own, with the understanding that this is where they'll be if things -don't- work out with us, relocating here isn't a viable or reasonable option. It puts a strain on the relationship from the get-go, and denies everyone involved the necessary peace, security and space to be able to make a good decision for everyone's health and welfare. JMO, Lady Zephyr

LadiesBladewing -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 5:23:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chaingang This seems obnoxiously critical and pessimistic. What situations? Why is the 2 year mark of importance? I thought you poly types called the media if you made it passed 6 months... 10 years, but no press banner. Oh.. and one of the members of our household came from a 25 year poly quad... he was the last one left alive, and came to live with me because he'd been my spiritual teacher for 15 years... and fell in love with SR -- he already loved me, and we'd cherished one another's company for a decade and a half... so, with our fourth, it was a relationship like a perfect hollandaise -- light, warm, rich and perfectly blended, even though the ingredients, by themselves, don't really seem like they'd fit together well at all. smiles So he'd done successful poly for 30 years when he died in my mate's arms. Again, no press, though. Lady Zephyr

sharainks -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 5:24:48 PM)
I wish CM would post a willing to relocate within a set number of miles or anywhere. For me 100 yes, 200 yes, maybe even 300 from here, but not much more than that. Willing to relocate does not always mean clear across the country or to another continent.

MistWalker -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 5:27:32 PM)
relocating can be a huge change, done quickly or done methodicly.. when i met Mine, we went back and forth for a while visit to here, visit to my home, more visits here as we grew closer and made our choices.. it can work for sure. but its still a huge change no matter how its done. though honestly i knew very soon into thing, we both did that i would be moving. matter of time and setteling things.. leaps of faith, sudden choices can always be risky, then again so can crossing the street. ill never be sorry for the choice i made. but i do agree its something that needs to be thought about strongely before its done. not somethign i would do sight unseen either. no more then i would have a new member move into our household unseen.

pissdoll -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 5:40:21 PM)
a few visits are critical..... but how well do you get to know someone in a weekend? most people can keep it together for the 3 or 4 days you go to visit....we all know what it is to be on our best behavior. in any relationship, no one is perfect. as time goes on, you begin to see the good and the bad, the endearing and the annoying. but you assess the imperfections and the things you love and that is what leads you to decide whether or not you want to continue. i personally don't think most long distance relationships have the "quantitiy time" needed to get to know someone well enough to pack up and move 3000 miles.

mons -> RE: Relocation, be sure you know (5/1/2006 5:53:29 PM)
MOOO314 ALL I CAN SAY IS SO VERY WELL WRITTEN DO NO JUST JUMP INTO THE FRYING, ALSO LOOK AT WHERE YOU WILL BE MOVING TO AND THEN THINK OF IT!!!!!!! SO VERY WELL WRITTEN MOOO314 MONS/JANE

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