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CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: hey moderator, (1/12/2011 4:01:56 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: raven066
come to my place to meet and walk. there is 280 apartments in this complex and there are always people out along with several surveillance cameras monitered by the police. this is one of the safest places in town. there less crime here that at the mall.
raven066
raven066, you may feel this is safe...but personally, I would never have a first meetup with someone in their own territory. Call me paranoid. [;)] I meet in city parks, large busy parking lots, and at fast food places. Neutral territory. Even after enough meetups where I am willing to scene with a friendly bottom, I won't let him rent the hotel room in advance...as he might have half a dozen buddies hiding out in the bathroom for when the front door closes behind me. Insisting that your place is safe and that anyone who disagrees...anyway, don't fight to win that battle and end up losing the war, okay?
So how were you ripped off? Did you go against that huge red warning sign in the mailroom and mail that $400 anyway and she didn't show up? If she merely asked and you declined, I see no rip off. Personally, I would laugh at anyone who wanted me to buy a $400 ticket to go and visit him...he can get his arse on a plane and come visit me instead, and pay for his own hotel room. Btw, I look for people in my own area, or meet up with people who are visiting my area already and not coming here specifically to see me. It's a potential power loss issue...if someone pays something like $400 for a plane trip just to visit me...he might have the attitude that he bought my time and I owe him something. It wouldn't work for me. If anyone wants that kind of a transaction, they can go to a pro-Domme. Maybe you should check out prices for that kind of service...one session is somewhere around the cost of that plane ticket.
Looking here isn't easy...kissing a lot of frogs is a phrase that comes to mind. Have patience.
Also, some women block men that they have decided are incompatible...as just trying to be nice about saying this up front can leave us wide open for a nastygram. Maybe you said something offensive to that person you were talking with for two weeks, and you didn't see it as offensive.
If your talks were...cybering...maybe both of you got your groove on enough that a meetup would make the fantasy go sour. (Or maybe the woman you were talking with...was just a guy pretending to be a woman to get HIS groove on.)
Expect to have disappointments.
Expect to form attachments to people who end up being incompatible or who just disappear suddenly.
If you find someone soon, almost without any effort...I expect to hear an angel choir singing over your home. [;)]
Sorry to hear about your disappointments, but honestly, if you were not scammed out of cash and had one prospect disappear after two weeks...exactly what do you expect the mods to do? Twist the first one's arm so she ponies up with the plane ticket? Buy her a plane ticket? Seek out that second woman and MAKE her talk with you some more?
Change your game plan if this one is not working for you. Read about safe callers, meet in a place she feels comfortable with, get the first meetup over with as soon as possible and do not expect to have a scene within the first few meetups. Buy a non-porn BDSM book like SM 101, read it from cover to cover and then seek out a munch group in your area.
Someone like you approached me online...also into rape fantasy...and he lived close by. His attitude was all gimme gimme and it turned me off. Though I was feeling predatory and very hungry to top someone, I didn't choose him.
The gentle ones who talked to me like a friend, enjoyed my company and found out vanilla things I liked to do...THOSE guys interested me...and I enjoyed [;)] them very much.
Good luck with your search.
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