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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 6:46:39 AM

Rule

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
for some reason that scares me like nothing else.

Read 'On a pale horse' in the series 'Incarnations of immortality' by Piers Anthony.

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 6:49:19 AM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or
It is my wish to die alone.

The people I care about, I don't want them to see me die

Having been "in at the end" with several friends and family members, that's how I feel about it.

Statistically, it's likely to be either cancer through smoking, or a motorcycle crash, that gets me. In the former case I'll say my goodbyes and go somewhere to end it myself quietly, in the latter case it'll be "oh shit, mistake! <CRASH, BANG, GAME OVER>.

It's simply not my wish to cause those I care about any trauma by having them witness my passing.

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 6:55:21 AM

JstAnotherSub

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fast reply

Holding my moms hand and telling her she could go with my dad after she called his name on her deathbed, is the most spitritual experience I have ever had. I wouldn't trade that moment for anything.

We are not born alone, and I hope to have someone who loves me holding my hand when I make that journey to whatever lies beyond death.

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 7:00:37 AM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

fast reply

Holding my moms hand and telling her she could go with my dad after she called his name on her deathbed, is the most spitritual experience I have ever had. I wouldn't trade that moment for anything.

We are not born alone, and I hope to have someone who loves me holding my hand when I make that journey to whatever lies beyond death.

Well firstly I don't personally believe anything "lies beyond death", good or bad, so I don't require any sort of hand-holding for a "journey" that doesn't exist and secondly, having witnessed the passing of a number of people, I can't say it struck me as a particularly pleasant or spiritual experience for anyone concerned, although if you felt it was then I'm pleased it wasn't especially traumatic for you, coz believe me it can be.

I wish to spare my loved ones as much trauma as is possible. But of course others may (indeed do) feel differently. As Termy said, it's not likely to be a popular stance.

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 7:18:44 AM

JstAnotherSub

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I see where you are coming from, but...

I am not sure that anything lies beyond death either. All I k now is mom opened her eyes and called dads name, then got the biggest smile on her face, closed her eyes and took her final breath.

The fact that this happened after I told her mom go with daddy if she wanted to may very well mean nothing at all.

All I know is that it made her smile after many days of being comatose, that made me smile through my tears, and it let me know that she was, in fact, in a better place.

And typing this made me tear up at the memory, but I am smiling through these tears also. How can I think anything that brings comfort, and causes no one any harm, is a bad thing?

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 7:23:24 AM

LillyBoPeep

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i do believe something lies beyond death, but the "process" of it is difficult for the people who aren't going with you. i would just rather that no one was involved but me.

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 7:24:19 AM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
How can I think anything that brings comfort, and causes no one any harm, is a bad thing?

All I'm saying is that not everyone passes peacefully and, although it may be comfort for the affected person, it isn't always for those left behind. I don’t wish to inflict that on my family & friends, ergo I’d rather they weren’t present when I die. Any small sadness I might feel at my own passing, and doing so alone (and I’m by no means convinced I’d feel that anyway), would be much less than the sadness I’d feel if I thought I’d caused those I love, and who love me, emotional trauma.

I'm genuinely glad that wasn't your experience, but it has been mine, more than once, with other people I've known where I was there when they died.

As I say though, the chances are it’ll be a fuck-up of my own (or someone else’s) that ends my life, courtesy of a high speed bike crash and subsequent road-rissole scenario, in which case all this talk is a bit moot. If it’s anything else I’ll think that through when I get to it, assuming I get the chance to.

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 9:03:26 AM

JstAnotherSub

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Oh I have been there when it was not so peaceful. My granddad, who was about as big a sunuvabitch as has ever walked the earth, held his hands up in front of his face and yelled no as he left this earth. He had also been comatose for a few days, and "came to" right at the end.

When I saw "Ghost", and the evil ones came to get someone, I thought that is probably what old grandpappy saw coming for to carry him home-lol.

< Message edited by JstAnotherSub -- 1/14/2011 9:04:32 AM >

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 11:08:03 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

Greedy!!!! Do it :) Seriously that would be so awesome, when you get a chance cmail me and fill me in.

Yes, as far as Baybeee goes, I think I am just going to let the moderators deal with him, hopefully trolling and useless inflammatory on every single thread especially more serious ones is still considered a bannable offense. I mean of course he will come back as some new and unimproved reincarnation of douchebaggery, but his mentality and sociopathic behavior give him away eventually. I think he should try coming back as a Domme next time, a lesbian one, with a hot profile pic. Might take a tad longer to out him then.

or he could mimmick to be another nationality and copy my grammar errors

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 11:11:28 AM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

Oh I have been there when it was not so peaceful. My granddad, who was about as big a sunuvabitch as has ever walked the earth, held his hands up in front of his face and yelled no as he left this earth. He had also been comatose for a few days, and "came to" right at the end.

When I saw "Ghost", and the evil ones came to get someone, I thought that is probably what old grandpappy saw coming for to carry him home-lol.

One of the books I read about paranormal research concluded that if you die you would also experience the pain and agony that you gave to others during your life...if that is true then I know one person who should have suffered a heck of a lot when he passed away 9 years ago... considering he was the reason for regular nightmares for about 8 years of my childhood...

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 11:22:58 AM

Icarys

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I will most likely die alone...45 miles or more from the nearest anything as the crow fly's is my goal after all. I won't however die lonely which is a good thing.

There are people I will miss when they die but that's a short list and as with all of us..it's inevitable so I've come to grips with life and death as being part of the natural order of things. There is real peace in knowing things like that for me.

< Message edited by Icarys -- 1/14/2011 11:23:39 AM >

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 11:27:11 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

*fast reply*
forgetting that jaybee is probably Greedy's ex...it's actually a good topic.
I was with my mom when she died. I was the last person she saw on this earth and the last words she heard was "I love you"
I wouldn't change that for the world. I think it's an honor to be with someone when they die. I held my newborn son in my arms when he died and my father was surrounded for the whole week prior to his death by all four of his daughters.
He chose to die when I was out getting his meds and my one other sister was out doing legal stuff for him.
He chose to have my one sister next to him who he had the most difficult relationship with. I think that was done purposefully as it mended all wounds for her.
I would not want to die alone.

I have to agree here, although I probably will die alone. I would not want someone I loved to die without having expressed all I need to. Of course, I try to say what I need to as much as possible, like saying I love you.

Living or dying alone, both sad concepts.

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 11:30:20 AM

GreedyTop

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I like living alone.

at this point, I imagine I will die alone, which is not what I would PREFER.

I would prefer having someone with me so that my last moments involve touch, and hopefully, kind words.

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 11:35:20 AM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
I would prefer having someone with me so that my last moments involve touch, and hopefully, kind words.

Give me a shout, I'll pop along. Always happy to say nice things to nice people.

And I'll bring some mates and some beers so there's more of a party atmosphere :)

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 11:37:40 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Aynne.. dearling.. seriously.. it's not worth it..

sit back down ;)

and ponder the idea that I might be moving to Northern MA... *grins*

GT,

Did you mean Maine (ME) or Massachusetts (MA)? I'm not being pedantic, but I'm from MA and considering moving back, and IIRC, Aynne is in ME.

KK

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 11:41:47 AM

GreedyTop

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excellent, RF!! it's a deal~!

Kali.. Mass. looking at a job up there

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 11:45:02 AM

LaTigresse

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For myself, I guess I don't really care that much. The people I love have no doubt that I love them.

The idea of being dead doesn't scare me but I have to admit many of the possible processes scare the bajesus out of me. Some of which, I would prefer my loved ones not witness.

I believe I will live to be quite old, very likely out living many of the people I love most. I may not be able to choose who is with me when I gasp my last.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/14/2011 11:46:00 AM >

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 12:02:01 PM

Jaybeee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

*fast reply*
forgetting that jaybee is probably Greedy's ex...it's actually a good topic.
I was with my mom when she died. I was the last person she saw on this earth and the last words she heard was "I love you"
I wouldn't change that for the world. I think it's an honor to be with someone when they die. I held my newborn son in my arms when he died and my father was surrounded for the whole week prior to his death by all four of his daughters.
He chose to die when I was out getting his meds and my one other sister was out doing legal stuff for him.
He chose to have my one sister next to him who he had the most difficult relationship with. I think that was done purposefully as it mended all wounds for her.
I would not want to die alone.

"Ouch" is too trivial a word. I'm genuinely sorry for that.

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 5:10:30 PM

Aynne88

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

excellent, RF!! it's a deal~!

Kali.. Mass. looking at a job up there

Which is close enough to me (ME) to make me very very happy!

.

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RE: Dying alone, some thoughts... - 1/14/2011 5:14:38 PM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88
Which is close enough to me (ME) to make me very very happy!.

Ah no, wait ... I think I just worked out what happened to my message ... maybe. Not sure ...

< Message edited by RapierFugue -- 1/14/2011 5:35:33 PM >

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