RE: to be a better subbie?

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RE: to be a better subbie? - 1/16/2011 9:23:37 AM

art4YOU

Posts: 55
Joined: 1/8/2011
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Wow! Some awesome replies. thanks everyone.

No! i am not trying to please everyone...just trying to do things to help myself feel better about life in general and being polite does this for me.

No..i do not run over little old men...a great point there by the way...i do stop for them and wave them on also.

To all who do not like the term "subbie" i do not mean to offend anyone . To me the term brings back sweet warm memories of a Lady ( in Phoenix that probably a bunch of Y/you knew one of the Original founders of APEX) that used to allow me to help clean Her house Her and We would play very consensually and She would always ask "How is My little subbie doing?" She unfortunately died in a car crash a few years ago and in her memory i guess i fondly still use the term .

Thanks for all the great posts that were mentioned..i went to them and will be returning to them often.

Thanks everyone for the input and don't Y/you just love it here?

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

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Post #: 21

RE: to be a better subbie? - 1/16/2011 11:13:44 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: art4YOU

It apears a few of us subbies have not been fortunate enough to have been taken in hand yet by a Lady, myself included. Being just naturally submissive i have been thinking of ways i may practice being a subbie in the vanilla world.

I read and reread your opening post in order to get to that part which was confusing me. And i you look above I stopped quite near to the beginning. I mean how can you, ny definition, prectice being a subbie in the vanilla world? It's not in my experience anyway that the most submissive are also submissive in their vanilla life. Nor is it my experience that dominants are dominant across everything they do.
Indeed it is more within my experience that subbies are often powerful and hold down quite a great deal of responsibility in their mundane lives and that their submission is a release/retreat from their everyday demands.
When I was submissive (indeed a slave) I considered myself to be very powerful in the workplace, as a wage earner, as a mother, as a 'fixer'.
Now I'm not saying that politeness and appropriateness should not be practiced by you on a daily basis. But it's a wry ole world when we take those qualities and have to focus on ensuring we show those qualities in our everyday life.
Nor am I saying by the way there there is a distinct line between the vanilla-mundane and the lifestyle. this would indeed be an insult to those who say they are living in a dynamic 24/7.
There is no such distinction but rather more I feel a continuum of power along which we each express ourselves with appropriate demeanor. Consenting to the extremes of that demeanor is just about as clear as I can be about what distingushes the extreme from the mundane middle ground.

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Post #: 22

RE: to be a better subbie? - 1/16/2011 11:25:13 AM

mbes

Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
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"Subbie" used to irritate the holy hell out of me, because I always heard it as (even when it was not used as) a condescending word from Doms who Capped their Names and felt Superior to the wee weak helpless subbies, or the submissives who wanted to claim this great sisterhood of exceedingly like-minded, interchangeable Twue Submissives. I've since finally gotten the hang of using/hearing it in a friendly, laughing, happy tone sometimes. So now I try hard to listen to context and tone when the word comes up, and it only irritates the holy hell out of me sometimes.

As for the op, that sounds like a great plan that's working well for you. Practicing self-control and thinking of others within a context that doesn't sacrifice the self can hardly hurt, and if it has the added bonus of satisfying your needs in the process, that's wonderful.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

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Post #: 23

RE: to be a better subbie? - 1/16/2011 12:42:17 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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I'm in my morning hours and coffee hasn't helped, so I won't comment on the topic and what I think because I can't think yet! lol However, I did want to say that I contacted the OP on something a couple days ago and suggested something and he took the ball and ran with it! It was good to see someone really trying and open to suggestions that improve his chances of being all that he can be and finding his way around here. It is so rare.

(That's all until I can find my mind again. lol)

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Post #: 24

RE: to be a better subbie? - 1/16/2011 8:05:48 PM

lilredsubmarine

Posts: 62
Joined: 6/17/2010
From: QLD, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I'm in my morning hours and coffee hasn't helped, so I won't comment on the topic and what I think because I can't think yet! lol However, I did want to say that I contacted the OP on something a couple days ago and suggested something and he took the ball and ran with it! It was good to see someone really trying and open to suggestions that improve his chances of being all that he can be and finding his way around here. It is so rare.

(That's all until I can find my mind again. lol)

*high-fives the OP* Woohoo!

Meanwhile, this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: art4YOU

To all who do not like the term "subbie" i do not mean to offend anyone . To me the term brings back sweet warm memories of a Lady ( in Phoenix that probably a bunch of Y/you knew one of the Original founders of APEX) that used to allow me to help clean Her house Her and We would play very consensually and She would always ask "How is My little subbie doing?" She unfortunately died in a car crash a few years ago and in her memory i guess i fondly still use the term .

actually brought a tear to my eye, and has totally made me re-think how easily i take offense to the term "subbie". That is truly beautiful how you continue to honour Her memory in such a simple yet meaningful way-- please do not stop doing so on account of our quirky tastes in word-choice.