Journals? "Forums"?

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LillyBoPeep -> Journals? "Forums"? (1/16/2011 12:55:46 PM)
Hiyas everyone ^_^ This is a two-part question. First off, do you keep a journal? Personally i've kept a journal for almost as long as i can remember (the very first one i ever got had Taz on it =p haha) If you do, what do you think the benefits of journaling are? Do you keep a physical one or an online one (if you have an online one, do you have recommendations of blogging platforms)? Does your D/M give you writing assignments, or is it mostly up to you? If you don't, care to share any of your reasoning? Secondly, do you have a submissives/slaves forum in your area? Like a real-life discussion/social group to get together with other s-types and yammer? If you do, do you find it helpful? If not, would you participate in one? ---- I've been spending a lot of time thinking about submission as it relates to my life (I figured i'd have to occupy myself in the single life somehow =p), trying to understand my own motivations and find more authenticity. As i said earlier, I've been a journal-writer since I was pretty young, so i'm thinking of starting a "submissive journal," and for some reason, i want to make it separate from my regular one, which just doesn't make sense. It's all "life" to me. =p I guess I'm just looking for other people's points of view. Also, I'm really jonesing for some REAL discussion with other submissives about stuff besides playing; it seems like the focus is so completely on S&M and other aspects of life get lost. a small group of us have something planned for this, but i guess i'm just being impatient. hahaha

littlewonder -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/16/2011 12:58:05 PM)
no and no. I don't find either one to be very useful for me. If I have something to say I tell Master. I don't do the whole public/group/bdsm thing so having a local forum would be of no use to me. I don't separate my friends into categories. If I need to talk about something I find I have no problem talking to my friends about it or I work through the problem myself.

AquaticSub -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/16/2011 1:48:43 PM)
No and no. I'm not into journaling. My area used to have a s-type circle but it disbanded after several people have to drop out of being active. A pity for me as I really enjoyed the meets and found them to be helpful.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/16/2011 2:08:12 PM)
i like journals because it's a place where i can focus and yack about something for as long as i want until it's all worked out. it's also a way to flesh out ideas before i talk to someone about them. i've just found that it works well for me because i tend to have lots of tangential thoughts, and writing helps me focus on whatever i want to focus on. also, i'm a bit of an overthinker, and writing keeps me from overthinking out loud. =p sometimes when i talk through my entire thought process, people get the wrong idea. i don't think journals should replace communicating with a partner, but they do work for some. as with many things "your mileage may vary." =p as far as groups/meetings, i don't think they have to be "public" like many kink groups are, just get-togethers with likeminded friends. i don't believe that a person has to like or listen to everything going on with me in order to be my friend; i have vanilla friends who would probably be totally confused by some of my thoughts, so i just don't feel the need to talk to them about it. it's nice to talk to people who understand your perspective and who can share insights, at least in my opinion.

angelikaJ -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/16/2011 5:19:12 PM)
I have a hardbound journal that I write in daily which he reads. It is a requirement of his. I am to also journal specifically about play we engage in and the rare times punishment occurs. The play etc journals may be done via emails I like that connection to him. There is nothing held back in the hardbound journal. I don't edit because he will be reading it. There is no tearing of pages and there is no white out. If I don't like something (or make an error) I simply draw one line through it (it is still legible) and move on.

agirl -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/16/2011 5:38:52 PM)
No, I don't keep a diary. I don't particularly want to document my life in this way. I kept one fastidiously for a year in 1977, and over 30 yrs later, it is utterly painful to read. But, the basic reason is that I see no point in doing so. I've no idea if there's a submissive/slave forum in my area, but even if there was, it's highly unlikely that I'd attend. I'm not submissive and being owned isn't that much of a thing for me. It's my everything and at the same time pretty mundane in it's execution. I talk to my owner uphill and down dale if I need to, and as he's the one that is MOST likely to know what the hell I'm talking about, he's the man. Other than that , my like-minded friends are vanilla-musos, they share an outlook and perspective on life that matters to me. The M/s really isn't a big deal at all. It's just a detail, and not a very important one. agirl

DesFIP -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/16/2011 5:53:12 PM)
I've never had a journal excepting a college class where we were required to. And that was faked because I didn't write about what I was into but about stuff that I knew would get an A. Fetlife has some groups that are for submissives. You might like one of them if there's no rl group in your area.

LPslittleclip -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/16/2011 8:45:17 PM)
i have a e-mail journal that my Mistress requested i do. and no there is little in my location for bdsm have to go to bigger city's for that.

mbes -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/16/2011 10:39:13 PM)
No, and probably not. We tried the journal, but writing to myself just gave me writer's block, and became painful and stressful. I doubt I would attend a forum for s-types. There are so many sub-groups in the general category of s-types that the chances of a local group having enough I can relate to is pretty slim. So going for the social interaction might occasionally be fun, going to 'share the experience' would be a waste of time.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/17/2011 1:01:58 AM)
ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep Hiyas everyone ^_^ This is a two-part question. First off, do you keep a journal? Not exactly - I keep a blog. I am a writer, so I write A LOT. I have a number of pieces I've written and sent for publication, and to some degree they are like journals for me since I have to tap into my own emotions to write well. I also keep some legendary scrapbooks. People I don't even know hear about them and want to participate in the process. That's quite a compliment, I think. To me, these are my journals more than anything. Personally i've kept a journal for almost as long as i can remember (the very first one i ever got had Taz on it =p haha) I used to keep a "real" journal - or at least the stereotypical type. I stopped in my late 20's though because I'd found some of my journals from when I was 17 or 18 and read them. I was still talking about the same shit and decided it wasn't worth it. I needed to DO something about my emotions instead of write about them. That's when I started making scrapbooks. They are def. not the neat and tidy ones you see in "scrapbooking" clubs. I have coffee rings on them with a note (great cup of coffee at Jack's) and pictures other people have drawn, small pieces of art I've picked up here and there, cartoon sketches of me, receipts, tickets to use the bathroom, queue tickets, dream catchers, handprints... you name it, it's probably in it! I loved a Japanese place I went to and put the chopsticks in it if I'm remembering correctly. If I didn't, I should have! If you do, what do you think the benefits of journaling are? There are plenty of benefits from emotional if they are that kind fo journal, historical to list events, ones loaded with business info are really helpful if you end up writing a business plan or later down the road your business memoirs. I remember reading about the 12 steps and AA and how they didn't have the original 12 and 12 that they'd written out. It had gotten lost along the way. I've always thought that was quite a shame. An important piece of Americana and healing for millions of people. Do you keep a physical one or an online one (if you have an online one, do you have recommendations of blogging platforms)? The scrapbooks are physical. The blog - I use blogspot although a bit begrudgingly these days. I have a problem in that google - who runs it - automatically puts it into the language of the place you are logged in at. I can't read Korean, and I inevitably put in the wrong commands and find that immensely frustrating. There is no way to change it either. (Some websites - MSN, yahoo, for example, allow you to set the language and they follow it. If they don't, there is a link to change the language. Blogspot doesn't have that. It's frustrating.) Does your D/M give you writing assignments, or is it mostly up to you? Not applicable currently. People have in the past. I had one fellow I was involved with who had me keep a calendar for him and then had my journal kind of attached to it in that I wrote about the things I'd done. Meh. I'm not sure I'd do it again - not sure I could do it in an indepth manner. I get paid to write. I am tired of writing when I finish working. I really don't want to keep writing. Sometimes you just gotta live your life. I consider it research for my next piece. [;)] If you don't, care to share any of your reasoning? Some people are not good writers. Some people are not patient enough. Some people don't give a rat's behind about it. My personal reason is stated above. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about submission as it relates to my life (I figured i'd have to occupy myself in the single life somehow =p), trying to understand my own motivations and find more authenticity. Authenticity is a good thing. As i said earlier, I've been a journal-writer since I was pretty young, so i'm thinking of starting a "submissive journal," and for some reason, i want to make it separate from my regular one, which just doesn't make sense. It's all "life" to me. =p I guess I'm just looking for other people's points of view. If you choose to do this online, be careful about privacy issues. Also, I'm really jonesing for some REAL discussion with other submissives about stuff besides playing; I get you. I'm busy living my life, and I don't want to just talk about something because there's a label on it. I don't keep a journal of, for example, my bike rides. I may jot them down on a list to track my progress, but they're just part of my ho hum, hum drum, blase, blase life! I have found that there is another website that I belong to where we talk about everything pretty much except sex / kink... even thought it's a kink site. I choose to not join the sexy/kinky groups. thanks... no thanks. best wishes, sunshine

sunshinemiss -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/17/2011 1:11:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I've never had a journal excepting a college class where we were required to. And that was faked because I didn't write about what I was into but about stuff that I knew would get an A. Hey Celeste - this makes me sad. I require my students to write in English in their journals. However, I don't read them. I just check that they've done it. It takes me about 30 seconds to check a journal for 15 entries. I do on occasion give them a topic that I want them to write about - mostly so they will practice the vocabulary - but I tell them that I will read that entry. I've built a lot of trust and rapport with my students and am really tough about privacy in class. My students can write about anything! As long as it's in English, it's good. I don't even check for grammar / spelling unless they ask me to. And they've asked me to read about politics, abortion, suicide, cultural issues, money, travel. It's been really an eye-opening experience for me! The way I run the journal writing is actually a great system because now the students will write a note at the top of the page with a highlighter and my name and write questions to me or explain situations. I've found it immensely successful with my students. They can say whatever they want and know they won't be judged for the content of it. They do all kinds of crazy things - draw pictures, write poems, add photos. I love seeing how individualistic they become. It's one of the best things I've incorporated into my classes. best, sunshine [sm=writing.gif] ETA: And I would like to say that another teacher showed me how to do this, and I've always given her credit for it. I'll not mention her name here for privacy reasons, but I'm so grateful for her guidance. I've since given the same mantra to other teachers. Pay it forward!

subsfaith -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/17/2011 2:09:36 AM)
No, I don't keep a journal. In my very early days as his sub I did, to satisfy my own motivations, but I found over time it became counter productive. I would have an issue, write down and set it in stone, then focus on the issue. Whereas now I find if I try to move on from my issues they will often melt away, proving to me they weren't such a big deal and mostly likely connected to my mood than to an actual issue. As far as I am aware there aren't any local groups that I could join. I know a local sub and we get together periodically for coffee and to catch up. If there was a group, I may well go and I am sure I would glean something from the experience.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/17/2011 4:08:13 AM)
thanks for all the replies so far ^_^ i also had an english teacher who required a journal, and even though i LOVE journals, i was weirded out that my english teacher wanted me to write one for her to read. i didn't know if she read them or not, but i didn't write about things that were too personal, because she never gave me any confidence in her ability to respect privacy. =p haha in my last relationship, i stopped keeping a journal towards the end of it because i no longer needed it. we were around each other almost all the time. i found that i had grown over-dependent on my journal because i had a pretty lonely childhood in a rural area and it was "someone" to talk to. i kept that habit up until i met M and suddenly had a REAL person who actually wanted to talk to me. =p hahaha in the very beginning, he'd send me things to write back to him via email, or "after action reports" for play sessions, but he wanted to overcome my reliance on writing and get me to verbalize more; he succeeded in doing that, at least in relation to himself. i still used the journal occasionally to flesh out an idea (writing something down helps me deal with a thought in a concrete way) and then i would talk to him in person about the thoughts. he never asked to actually read the journal, but there wouldn't have been any surprises for him because we were so close and talked all the time. as an aside, i sometimes wonder if maybe i'm just hypergraphic. =p but i don't think it's a compulsion so much as i just like doing it, and it's still easier for me in some ways to write in a journal or get online and post all over the place, because i'm still RIDICULOUSLY shy and it's difficult to build up enough trust to talk to people. i started regular journaling again maybe a year after he died; it was helpful because people will only listen to "i'm sad, i dont know what to do" for so long. =p and making records of the process of thoughts and working through them in a concrete way seemed ideal for me then, and now with my current personal project. as far as forums go, i've never participated in one, so i'm hoping that the one i'm planning will go well. i imagine it would be helpful, but who knows. =p perhaps afterward we'll say, "that was too much work for very little return." ooooor it'll be helpful and we'll keep doing it. who knows.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/17/2011 5:10:05 AM)
Yeah, that's why I check their journals right in front of them. They are doing a quiz or exam, and I am checking their journals. Or they are working on their group projects, and I'm zipping through their journals. I do it after a couple of weeks to show them right away that I'm not reading them. Then I check them a couple more times each semester. Funny... a number of them have said as feedback that they didn't like that I didn't check the journals. They wanted me to correct their grammar and such. That's wayyyyyyyyyyyy too much work for me. anyway, good luck... but remember that the internet never forgets. best, sunshine

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/17/2011 5:37:02 AM)
haha that's funny =) i guess everyone's different. i don't think journals in class is a BAD thing, in general, for me it was more about the particular teacher than the assignment. she just struck me as someone who gossiped a lot about everyone. other teachers, other kids in other classes, blah blah blah. i didn't want to be fodder for one of her stories. =p

lilredsubmarine -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/17/2011 7:04:19 AM)
~FR~ i don't keep a daily journal as such, but every so often the madness in my mind gets a little too frenzied and i find it very soothing to sort through and analyse it via my writing. Also, if something or someone is really bothering me, or if i'm in the middle of a big ol' argument with my S/significant O/other (i did this in my vanilla relationships also), i find i can be much more articulate and get my point of view across much more effectively if i just sit down and let the words flow on paper. i find that verbally i can never seem to find exactly the right word for what i want to say, or else i get distracted and/or talked into a circle by the O/other's argument. By writing my point of view, i can take my time to use exactly the right words, and i can say everything i want to say without getting interrupted or sidetracked along the way. It also helps purge all my initial anger/sadness/hurt/other-reactive-emotion so that i can be more calm and receptive when we eventually sit down to talk through the issue. It's proved to be a very effective conflict resolution technique on more than one occasion!! As for my general musings, i find that lately they have been more about bdsm/submissivey sort of stuff because, well, it's a big (HUGE) part of my life right now. As in, it's as if i've finally found my missing puzzle piece and now i finally get it (and by "it" i mean "me") and wowwee is it exciting!!!!! It's also opened up a whole 'nother can of worms on which to ponder, and my writing helps me to ponder upon it. This isn't to say that i don't write about other more vanilla-ry stuff as well, it's just this kinky stuff is just so much more interesting and exciting and fun!! [8D] Some of it i publish in my CM journal, some of it i don't. i don't keep "separate" journals for vanilla and kink-- but then, i guess i do all my journaling on my computer anyway, so each entry is saved as a separate file in my "Journal 2011" folder, so that's kinda irrelevant. Meanwhile, i am also supposed to be doing some handwritten journaling by order of my Naturopath. i'm supposed to write (with my left hand because i'm right-handed so apparently stuff is processed by my left-brain and stored in my right) about all my father and grandfather issues in order to purge some of the negative energy that's affecting my health (especially my, er, "girly health", hence the connection to father issues) and then without reading over it, burn the journal to truly release all that stored badness that i've buried and squashed right on down there. Don't tell her, but i haven't started it yet.... [&:] Not that i'm a chronic procrastinator or anything!!!! [8D]

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/17/2011 7:37:47 AM)
@lilredsubmarine -- i can totally relate to your post, and i agree -- sometimes it really helps clear things up when you can sit down and focus the mental cacophony into concrete words on paper. you can pick exactly what you're trying to say, and it helps to exorcise some of the emotion. sometimes when you're so emotional, it's hard to say what you mean without being misunderstood, or having your point taken the wrong way, or heck -- even just spouting off and saying something you don't mean. (everyone does this, whether they're 8 or 80.) journals have been very helpful in conflict resolution for me, too. ^_^ and i agree also -- the submissive/kink stuff is really exciting to write about right now. ^_^ even though i'm solo now, it's giving me an opportunity to reflect on things i learned during my first relationship. with M, i had found my missing puzzle piece, too -- now that some of the raw pain and grief is subsiding, i can look back at it and reflect on it without wanting the world to go down in flames. i miss him, but i am also determined to learn from my experience with him. so it's letting me redirect alot of my experiences into things i can learn from and make a record of them. and that's an interesting idea that your Naturopath had! i've never heard that before

NuevaVida -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/17/2011 8:29:23 AM)
I don't keep a journal. I was required to keep an online journal in my last relationship, and the requirement of it, and the responses (or lack of) I'd receive, nearly caused me to lose my love of writing. I do plan on starting a blog, but it would be for myself. As for journaling, though, nah. I tell him what's on my mind, or if it's something that's taking me a few days to process, I'll write it in an email. As for a local submissives group, there probably is, but it's not something I feel a need to attend. I really don't have the time or inclination.

CerVeza -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/17/2011 8:34:50 AM)
Few slaves/subs have the patience to do a journal. If a girl can't at least journal for me that is a sign right there she is not into Me nor has the discipline.

CherryNeko -> RE: Journals? "Forums"? (1/17/2011 8:51:05 AM)
Yes, I keep a journal. It helps me understand and register things for later analysis, and a separate one on a given theme lets you focus, instead of letting you throw information around which will probably be a waste of time for what you really want to study about yourself. A Taz diary? Squeals That is so cute! My diaries are girly. Always. Hmm, but Taz is just soooo cute. Benefits of journaling... for me... okay, first of all, you learn to write every once in a while, so it helps with discipline. Also it helps you gain introspection (that's why I write, actually), and it is a useful record of your reactions, in case you someday come up with this theory of why you react the way you do to certain things. It's also a personal space. The best blogging platform I know is blogger, but it requires a google account and I don't want to give them my phone number....... however most people (not me) like wordpress and livejournal. I'll never know why. I get writing assignments! States proudly However, though they usually end up in my journal, they're not meant for one. About the submissives forum, I do find it helpful, but I wouldn't participate in one. Other people's experiences tend to affect me too much. I think your motivations to journal independently about your sub life are good, and that you've found the best solution.

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