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RE: bondage in public - 12/1/2004 10:41:59 AM   
aliljaded1


Posts: 121
Joined: 6/20/2004
Status: offline 		i have 2 sons and had to explain what lesbian , homesexual was to my oldsest this summer . i found myself getting too technical w/ him and wound up confusing him more i think. then i went w/ the old stand by "they love each other is all". w/ that being said i'd like to point out something, the Gay and Lesbian community has made tremendous strides compared to the BDSM community . we have not yet been given the same social "graces" that they have.*imho* i dont think we ever will.

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**The mind is its own place,and in itself can make a heaven of hell, and a hell of heaven**


(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: bondage in public - 3/7/2007 12:58:24 PM   
knotz2u


Posts: 10
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		My wife is not into B&D but is very excited about public. Of course, ya hafta be careful about those around you that are not (as was previously mentioned) into your fantasy. As exciting as public is, registering as an offender can put the damper on any fun. There are plenty of places you can have your fun and still have that element of danger without being stupid.

(in reply to MastersGirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: bondage in public - 3/7/2007 1:07:25 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kajari

Master has indicated He wants to have slave in attire in public. This means cuffs,collar, leash and waist belt. Master wants to lead slave on a leash and has said slave should be proud to be displayed as Masters property. should slave have concerns? slave loves Master and dedicates every moment to Him


Depends.

Where are you going and do you care if cause a scene? I can say I would not want my child exposed to that at a young age because I feel that others shouldn't force me to explain things at too young an age. Are you going to be fully dressed otherwise? As in, clothing you wouldn't mind your mother seeing?

Now if you are going to a local nightclub, probably no one will care. My personal motto is that you don't wear church clothes to a construction area.

Edited to Add: Also remember - the public has not consented so courtsey is usually best.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 3/7/2007 1:08:51 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to kajari)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: bondage in public - 3/7/2007 1:14:38 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
...I feel that others shouldn't force me to explain things at too young an age...


mom was called to the school one day.  as a wee Kindergartner, this slave had taken it upon herself to correct the teacher in front of the entire class.  the teacher was explaining to the young un's that she would be leaving for a time, and another teacher would be taking her place because she had a baby in her stomach that she would be taking care of very soon.  this slave announced to the entire class that she was wrong, the baby was not in her stomach, but in her UTERUS.  the teacher commended this slave's mother for her open-ness and honesty and expressed the wish that she could educate the young ones in such a way, but MUCH to their parents disapproval, could not.  This was 1971.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: bondage in public - 3/7/2007 1:16:44 PM   
zindyslave


Posts: 601
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline 		This is a fast reply.
When I was younger which wasn't that long ago...Since I am only 21. I had friends that were into what is now known as Punk attire and I had a boyfriend that wanted me to lead him by a leash, which I did, In public at the Mall. No one looked at us funny or anything, but that was a few years ago when this stuff was trendy, but if you live in a big enough city shouldn't be a problem.

(in reply to MastersGirl)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: bondage in public - 3/7/2007 1:28:35 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		I don't believe that cuffs and leashes should be used where children are likely to see them. In an adult type setting, like a bar, then fine. But I believe cuffs, chains and collars can suggest an element of force or threat that young children can find disturbing, or even frightening. I would not want to have to soothe a child who wakes up crying that she does not want the bad man to chain her up and pull her out of Chuck E Cheese's.

To me, leading a slave around in a general public area in cuffs and on a leash is not so much about Mastery and submission, as it is about exhibitionism. I say, add it to the list of many many things that are delightful in private, but in poor taste in public.

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to kajari)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: bondage in public - 3/7/2007 1:41:00 PM   
Artsslave


Posts: 24
Joined: 3/1/2007
Status: offline 		i have children as well, and honestly i haven't encountered a situation where my kids have been exposed to stuff such as this. Well, i shouldn't say that. They've been exposed but they don't know it. They see people wearing collars and spiked cuffs and they think it's just something some people like to wear. Do they think it's strange? You bet! But they don't make a big deal of it because i have never made a big deal of it.

i would say the same thing applies to when they see someone being led around on a leash. A simple solution i can think of right now if it were to happen would be to tell them that they're playing pretend. She's being his pet. i bet my girls would giggle over it with as many times as they themselves have crawled around on all fours purring or barking.

i agree discretion and good taste, as well as appopriate timing, should always be considered. But i also think that the bigger issue is how much of an issue those around you make of it. What kind of people are you going to be paraded around in front of? And if you're uncomfortable about this, it's definitely something you should be having a long discussion with your Master about.

(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: bondage in public - 3/7/2007 1:50:42 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		WE often takes ours out for a night on the town,short leathers skirts, skimps tops, no panties or bras,YES we get lots of looks but so far no one has had the guts to question us about it expecially if they are sitting on the floor with collars on leashed...WE like to hit the strips clubs and have a late dinner at a nice returant with them in tow...ITS like gays in the miltary don't ask don't tell smiles..towns around here are small also 10000 or less
smiles..bounty

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US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: bondage in public - 3/8/2007 11:21:23 AM   
Imakemensquirm


Posts: 59
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline 		It is all about finding a way to satisfy our desires without infringing on those around us.  Bondage is not just a state of mind though, most of those you enjoy it need to feel it's hold on them and that's why I often use diapers and plastic pants on my submissive when we go out.  She can easily hide them under her clothes, especially when she wears a dress or skirt, so know one except us knows they are there but she certainly can't forget they're there.  She feels them with every step she takes and since a quick trip to a public toilet isn't possible, she needs to practice her self control or deal with a whole new problem.  I would never do anything to expose our lifestyle to others, but I can certainly push the limits. 

(in reply to MastersGirl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: bondage in public - 3/8/2007 11:34:33 AM   
subsnow


Posts: 152
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I can say I would not want my child exposed to that at a young age because I feel that others shouldn't force me to explain things at too young an age.


i don't think that this can really be used as an arguement. If you feel that others shouldn't force you to explain things to your kids at that young of an age, you would have to say that books about sex shouldn't be in the library where they could be picked up by kids and advertisements that are sexually explicit shouldn't be shown. It is impossible to shelter young children from things that make them question. If your kids saw a someone in slave attire on the street and they asked about it, you could simply tell them that you will explain when they are older or make something up.

i think that people should be more accepting of this lifestyle. It is just like any other lifestyle. Many people might argue that it is centered around sex. Not necessarily. my relationship with my Dom is not based on sex. It's based on a power exchange. i think that people aren't accepting of the lifestyle because they don't know or understand it so they're afraid of it. i don't think this is going to be changing anytime soon. Especially considering how the lifestyle is portrayed in the media.

If someone wants to go out in slave attire, i say go ahead. It might turn heads but it's who you are. The more people see it, the more comfortable they will become with it. Seeing you in slave attire is no different than seeing a guy with spiked purple hair and lots of piercings. The reaction will be the same.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: bondage in public - 3/8/2007 1:47:52 PM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		I think the general public will see the dress and the lifestyle as it's most extreme. ie. if you like bdsm, D/s, M/s or many of the various fetishes, you like to be beaten or beat others and do all kinds of crazy things.  The idea that it can even be not sexual at all is an alien concept that they may never get.  I attended an event with my partner this past summer where there is frequent nudity, lots of drinking, some drug use, a 4 day party basically. People bring their kids who are exposed, but they know they will be coming in. Mostly the kids there made ME uncomfortable when i was not at my best.... BUT these same people who have known my partner for years and years were totally freaked out when they found out he and i are into bdsm. I offered to bring out the small toy bag (late at night, all adults we knew well) and they looked scared. That was the end of any discussion about it anymore.

I have a teen that shops almost exclusively at Hot Topic. Much of their inventory leans toward kink at least. (She bought a devil's pitchfork crop for her friend for christmas). While she and her friends think this "play" level of kink is ok, they really don't get the serious stuff. And they certainly don't think "old people" should be thinking about that. We're not even supposed to think about sex remember???


(in reply to subsnow)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: bondage in public - 3/8/2007 2:01:32 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
...I feel that others shouldn't force me to explain things at too young an age...


mom was called to the school one day.  as a wee Kindergartner, this slave had taken it upon herself to correct the teacher in front of the entire class.  the teacher was explaining to the young un's that she would be leaving for a time, and another teacher would be taking her place because she had a baby in her stomach that she would be taking care of very soon.  this slave announced to the entire class that she was wrong, the baby was not in her stomach, but in her UTERUS.  the teacher commended this slave's mother for her open-ness and honesty and expressed the wish that she could educate the young ones in such a way, but MUCH to their parents disapproval, could not.  This was 1971.



Oh I have no problem at all explaining how babies made ("special hug, baby grows in utero, etc.", until they are older or ask more specific questions). However, I don't think having to explain bondage and why some people like to it to a four year old is acceptable. For me it's like teaching them math - you don't teach a four-year calculus.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: bondage in public - 3/8/2007 2:22:32 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I must say i agree with most of the posts.  I have 8 young neices and nephews  ranging in age from 15 to 7    The 15 year old i know would questions it and the little ones would too.  What you do in you own house is one thing but to force other prople who did not consent to be a part of  the lifestyle to wirness this i do not think is right.  Maybe just the collar and cuffs you could get away with but the leash...

Matt's littleone

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: bondage in public - 3/8/2007 3:18:43 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
...I feel that others shouldn't force me to explain things at too young an age...


mom was called to the school one day.  as a wee Kindergartner, this slave had taken it upon herself to correct the teacher in front of the entire class.  the teacher was explaining to the young un's that she would be leaving for a time, and another teacher would be taking her place because she had a baby in her stomach that she would be taking care of very soon.  this slave announced to the entire class that she was wrong, the baby was not in her stomach, but in her UTERUS.  the teacher commended this slave's mother for her open-ness and honesty and expressed the wish that she could educate the young ones in such a way, but MUCH to their parents disapproval, could not.  This was 1971.



Oh I have no problem at all explaining how babies made ("special hug, baby grows in utero, etc.", until they are older or ask more specific questions). However, I don't think having to explain bondage and why some people like to it to a four year old is acceptable. For me it's like teaching them math - you don't teach a four-year calculus.


this slave wasn't introduced to Master walking her with a collar and leash as "bondage".  It is this slave's understanding that it signifies a connection between us, that many misunderstand as they only view it as part of a private sexual "fetish" that makes their dick all hard and not as a symbol of a relationship structure that could have NOTHING at all to do with bondage.
 
"Why is that girl wearing a collar and being led around on a leash, mommy?
"Because she wants to Little Johnny."
 
sounds pretty simple...no SEX Ed involved.
 
(she isn't being dragged kicking and sceaming naked is she?)
 
the point this slave was trying to make with her story is about ignorance, and how easy it is to interpret information about something that could be viewed as SEX ED, or as part of the human experience, depending on one's perspective even at the tender age of 5.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: bondage in public - 3/8/2007 3:33:18 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		i was thinking about this and wondered if a little unmentionable saw you collared being led on a leash would even give it a moment's thought if left up to their own devices or would their response be as a direct reaction to the parental figures reaction?  If that makes any sense at all to anyone else but me. 



< Message edited by angelic -- 3/8/2007 3:37:15 PM >

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: bondage in public - 3/8/2007 3:35:59 PM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		Good point angelic!  As someone in a racially mixed marriage in the 80's, I found that kids did not react to it unless they were directed to by the reactions of others.

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: bondage in public - 3/8/2007 3:39:31 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

i was thinking about this and wondered if a little unmentionable saw you collared being led on a leash would even give it a moment's thought if left up to their own devices or would there response be as a direct reaction to the parental figures reaction?  If that makes any sense at all to anyone else but me. 


if they overreact and attribute it to something that is purely sexual in nature, it isn't much different than the view many parents had in 1971(or to this day) about their children hearing the correct term for genitalia, even in the context of pregnancy.  today it might be more accepted, but you can be sure more than one child went home that day when this slave was a wee one and asked their parents what a UTERUS was, and some were greatly upset that someone had spoken to them that way---even if the someone was only 5 herself.

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: bondage in public - 3/8/2007 3:45:46 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		i have no doubt about that.  That was one thing i insisted on with both my male unmentionables... they did not have peepees or weewees, they had a penis and i had a vagina.  Now before anyone freaks out, i named their body parts to them by their proper names, my body parts were only brought up when they were old enough to ask and be curious about it.



_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: bondage in public - 3/8/2007 3:50:58 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		if you were walking Chicago in broad daylight in that attire, you and your master would be immediately arrested for lewed behavior and public nudity. i agree with the others who chimed in about the UMs seeing this. there are certain things they shouldn't see and this is one of them - all it takes is "Mommy why is he choking her like a doggie" for someone to contact the authorities. recently i had my leather collar on during my youngest's field trip and i was asked by one of her friends - "why are you wearing a belt (meaning my collar) around your neck?" i replied that it was jewelry not a belt.  that type of attire should be saved for a bar or fetish scene at a club.  unless you like doing this, the public doesn't need to see what they will not understand.  

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


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(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: bondage in public - 3/8/2007 3:54:23 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

...if you were walking Chicago in broad daylight in that attire, you and your master would be immediately arrested for lewed behavior and public nudity...


thanks for the heads up...not sure if we'll ever walk around Chicago in broad daylight, with or without, but just out of curiosity how is a collar and leash considered public nudity? 

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 40
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