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RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 6:10:13 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		not everyone who is into D/s is into the leather and kink and such. so no worries - there are as many flavors of power exchange as there are people who practice it. ^_^ find a witty submissive woman who likes what you're into, simple as that. (okay, it's really not THAT simple, but when you know what you're looking for, it IS much easier to find it.)
the 1950s model is appealing to many people but the enforced, gender-based subservience turns them off. but you can be inspired by something while also modifying it to fit your lifestyle and goals.
perhaps you could also look into things like "Domestic Discipline" and "Taken In Hand" (they may very well be the same things, but I don't know well enough to explain. =p)

(in reply to plasticshark)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 6:25:17 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I've come to realize that some people just operate best as a sidekick. Now I just need to find one that doesn't mind being treated like a sidekick who's been kidnapped by an arch-villain from time to time. ;)


Sounds delicious to me! Welcome to the boards and good luck with your search.

I recommend you edit your first post a bit and stick it in your profile - it's a great intro.

(in reply to plasticshark)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 6:41:07 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I've had several delicious scenes with men who tortured me for hours but never took their pants off. (You are not alone in this.) I felt rather greedy, but since they were clearly calling the shots...

I offered one a foot massage afterwards and he accepted. I'd feel bad if I were unable to reciprocate in some way, but it wouldn't have to be sexual.



Not all women are as go with the flow as me, so I recommend you clearly communicate around this.

quote:

The other portion is that I'm definitely not submissive when it comes to sexual urges. I enjoy doing things, not having things done to me. Always been that way. I can spend an hour slowly building up a partner, but get zero satisfaction from having someone spending time trying to get me aroused, and it seems like most of the women I've been with get upset by that. The 'getting me aroused' part happens by all kinds of non-sexual things. I've even had some great experiences where my pants never came off. Most of the women I've been with can't seem to understand it. Is this some weird psychological hangup? Possibly. But aren't those the best kind of kinks?

(in reply to plasticshark)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 6:55:38 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

I've come to realize that some people just operate best as a sidekick. Now I just need to find one that doesn't mind being treated like a sidekick who's been kidnapped by an arch-villain from time to time. ;)


Sounds delicious to me! Welcome to the boards and good luck with your search.

I recommend you edit your first post a bit and stick it in your profile - it's a great intro.


that is pretty spectacular ^_^ haha

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 7:13:15 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		LillyBoPeep - Looks like we're in sync this week :)

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 8:11:42 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: plasticshark

The other portion is that I'm definitely not submissive when it comes to sexual urges. I enjoy doing things, not having things done to me. Always been that way. I can spend an hour slowly building up a partner, but get zero satisfaction from having someone spending time trying to get me aroused, and it seems like most of the women I've been with get upset by that. The 'getting me aroused' part happens by all kinds of non-sexual things. I've even had some great experiences where my pants never came off. Most of the women I've been with can't seem to understand it. Is this some weird psychological hangup? Possibly. But aren't those the best kind of kinks?


Not sure why you would call reciprocation a weird psychological hangup; that may not be the best thing to say out loud since it smacks of one true wayism.

And when it comes to the best kind of kinks, people have a wide variety of preferences and none of them are wrong, they may not be for YOU.


< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 1/19/2011 8:12:44 AM >

(in reply to plasticshark)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 8:21:16 AM   
plasticshark


Posts: 23
Joined: 1/18/2011
Status: offline 		I meant my disinterest in being reciprocated being sourced from a hang up somewhere. I don't think it's wrong - otherwise I would try to sort it out - it's just how I'm weird, and it's deviant from the norm.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 8:25:15 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Sorry, I misunderstood you. I thought you were saying the women who wanted to reciprocate had a hang up.

And of course none of what you feel is wrong; you only have to find someone who "gets" you.

(in reply to plasticshark)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 11:31:18 AM   
sirssubk2008


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/1/2011
Status: offline 		"Now I just need to find one that doesn't mind being treated like a sidekick who's been kidnapped by an arch-villain from time to time. ;)"

Envisioning Wonderwoman being kidnapped by The Duke of Deception...lol


(in reply to plasticshark)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 12:10:47 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Or sidekick to an archvillian perhaps?

For most of us, compatible libido is very important. I wouldn't be happy being with someone who rarely wanted sex since I'm unlikely to initiate it, and if I get turned down when I do, then I never initiate it again. What that means is I wind up getting sex only on those rare occasions he wants it and either I shut down so I'm uninterested in sex or else I'm unhappy. Neither of which works for me. I suggest you be very clear about how often you would want sex and in what form.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to sirssubk2008)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 1:28:42 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: plasticshark

looking for a monogamous, hopefully lifetime relationship with someone who will let me take care of her and is sassy and smart enough to make me keep her in line. Is there more to it in that, generally?


Greetings plasticshark,

The latter portion of your comment sums up what you're seeking and in my opinion you should remain true to that concept. Please keep in mind, a myriad of descriptions exist for what is or is not submissive and I advise that you ignore them all. How one person expresses their submissive tendencies is rarely identical and the perceived notion of what is acceptable may be ill suited or completely abhorrent to you. As such, focus on the qualities that mesh will with yours and allow some flexibility on both sides. Be cognizant of the likelihood of growth and change on your end. After some time has elapsed review your original statement and make any necessary alterations if applicable. Exploration is just that and there's always the possibility that this isn't your cup of tea or you may be merely hitting the tip of the iceberg. Enjoy the journey.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to plasticshark)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 2:19:10 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Yeah, there's a bullshit rumor running around that Doms are dressed in black leather 24/7, have no sense of humor, and care only for themselves.

My take on a Dom is almost exactly as you described:  cares for others, wants to be in control, likes kink, and is realistic.

Go for it.  Just don't come to Colorado and steal all the sub women.




Yeah, they need a big, hand carved Gothic Chair as well.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 2:29:33 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Well, I'm not the most learned troll under the bridge, but after reading your posts I don't think a sub is what you need. I think you need a hella lot more strength and assertiveness... I would almost point you in the direction of a Dom/Domme dynamic, however I think you would better be served if I pointed a nasty talon at a switch. That could be just me, however from what you have posted I feel that you need someone that is a much stronger sidekick than a 50's housewife type an a switch is mucho gooder in that respect.

A good girl that knows how and when to take charge, even grab you by the collar and say "Hey fucker, wake up an smell the coffee" an also fall into the role of your help mate when needs be. I understand that you feel that your life has groomed you into a Dominant role, however I would argue that it groomed you into a responsible role not dominant. This is not meant to besmirch your character at all, but to make you, perhaps, see that there is not two sides to this coin, but it is a more complicated rubicks cube and that exploring the option of bringing a switch into your life may actually lift a huge weight off your shoulders and give you the demure, wonderful, lovely girl of your dreams all in one.


Edited to add: YMMV I got  good buzz going on.



I really have to echo what the Troll has written. So much of the OP made me think "fabulous submissive male" also.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to FukinTroll)
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RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 2:46:51 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Yeah, they need a big, hand carved Gothic Chair as well.



(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 2:48:02 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Ha ha!! What a dufuss!!

Although it is rather nice that his clothes match the upholstery of his chair.


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/19/2011 2:49:08 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 3:04:45 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Rob Halford is a METAL GOD, please show some respect!

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 3:16:37 PM   
SorceressJ


Posts: 2968
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Yeah, they need a big, hand carved Gothic Chair as well.





*WANT. THAT. CHAIR*

_____________________________

‎Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. <93>)O(

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 4:26:37 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		want it more!!!

edited to change the ridiculously humongous font

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 1/19/2011 4:28:15 PM >

(in reply to SorceressJ)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 4:37:46 PM   
SorceressJ


Posts: 2968
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline 		Not to hijack a perfectly pleasant thread or anything, but just to let everyone know: tonight's entertainment will be me, jello-wrestling the delightfully buxom Winnie, for the above Chair (sans rock star. We're saving him for Lance *WEG*). The line for ringside seating forms to the left. Steven is selling cookies and wet T-shirts. Troll is the referee..

_____________________________

‎Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. <93>)O(

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Crossroads - 1/19/2011 5:25:54 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Lance already turned down Rob Halford on another thread. I'll take him, even if he does play for the wrong team. Let the jello wrestling begin!

plasticshark - do come back to your thread, we're being especially silly this week.

(in reply to SorceressJ)
Profile   Post #: 40
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