Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: how strict are you?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: how strict are you? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: how strict are you? - 1/24/2011 10:18:45 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

how would you say you punish your slave? example, when your slave does something it isnt supposed to, do you punish it right then, or do you let it slide the first few times? Im sure this depends on how lenient (sp?) One is...just curious as to how others do it. I, myself, depending on the crime, depends on the punishment, and also depends on how soon it is delivered. thought?


Master does not expect failure and he does not expect to use punishment as discipline.

quote:

Im not referring to any slave in particular as an "it" I simply said "it" because many owners I know refer to their slave as "it" also many slaves refer to themselves as an "it" or "this girl" or "this boy"


I am not an it either. I know that you have tried to call a halt to this digressing but it is not your(generic) position to assume that other Masters and Mistress' find it appropriate to have their property dehumanised. I am his, I am dark and I am my name, but I am never 'it'.

quote:

I have to say I agree with LadyTigresse, to a certain point. But there are times I feel that a slave may push an owner to see what happens. thought?


If I was to 'push' Master then the relationship of him as Master and I as his, would be nullified and over. If he needs to punish for a error, or because of 'pushing' - then he has already lost control. And Master would never tolerate that.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: how strict are you? - 1/25/2011 2:19:14 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I've got a problem with this.....


since you are not in a relationship with me... it is irrelevant with me that you have a problem with it


Some say this is a public *discussion* board moreso than your private relationship....

Celeste makes a sound point and all you've got in response is to mimic a pouty adolescent's dummy-spit?

Pretty lame...!

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: how strict are you? - 1/25/2011 6:14:45 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Pretty lame...!

Focus.[/font][/size][/color]



What is Lame is your weak effort to be some sort of shinning Knight coming to the rescue of a passive aggressive poster.....

Discussions are fine when asked with courtesy and politeness with regards to ones relationship.... but I don't respond well to passive aggressive bullshit!

so..... I will put your particular thoughts where they belong......

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: how strict are you? - 1/25/2011 12:57:11 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Pretty lame...!

Focus.



What is Lame is your weak effort to be some sort of shinning Knight coming to the rescue of a passive aggressive poster.....

Discussions are fine when asked with courtesy and politeness with regards to ones relationship.... but I don't respond well to passive aggressive bullshit!

so..... I will put your particular thoughts where they belong......


Passive/aggressive Celeste??? Lmao - shrinks call that "transference"....

Is this all you've really got? Tough questions met with evasive tantrums?

Grow up!

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: how strict are you? - 1/27/2011 11:37:52 AM   
Chulain


Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Punish? As in she's done something that actually made me *angry*? She gets denied that which subs crave most - a dom's attention. Which in turn denies me of the usual pleasure of her service or company. Lose/lose.

[...]

The most exasperating part of "punishment" within the lifestyle is that sooooo many apply a vanilla definition to the concept. That anything to do with a spanking (for eg, or pain in general) is a punishment. Arrggghhhh!!!!!


Now this is a refreshing attitude, one that I find so lacking. I have got in many arguments with D- and s-types about the concept of punishment. It is just not possible to punish a submissive using, as you say, vanilla definitions of punishment. Anything a vanilla is likely to describe as punishment is going to be enjoyed by the submissive. If it's something which the submissive would truly regard as punishment, then there's a good chance it crosses a hard limit, in which case there are major problems on the horizon.

And as you say, ignoring your submissive is a lose/lose situation, because you are also in a sense punishing yourself by denying yourself the pleasure of paying attention to her.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: how strict are you? - 2/6/2011 9:54:32 AM   
txurinal


Posts: 209
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		When owned, my MASTERS were very strict. In the more than 2 years i served THEM, i was only "punished" 3 times. Twice for stupid mistakes and once for disobedience.

There was also a difference between discipline which was administered on a regular basis and punishment, which did not involve discipline, but was very unpleasant

(in reply to Chulain)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: how strict are you? - 2/6/2011 10:44:40 AM   
Palliata


Posts: 371
Joined: 8/9/2010
Status: offline 		I've found that punishment is very rarely necessary, and can be counterproductive in many ways. Simply expecting obedience with no allowance made for intentional DISobedience allows the concept of disobedience to fall to the point of anathema - it becomes unthinkable because I as her Master do not conceive of it as a possibility. If I make preparations for it, I am therefore thinking of it as a situation which will probably come up, which leads to the idea of disobedience as an eventuality. Once that point is reached, it can therefore seen as acceptable in some sense so long as the punishment can be endured.

In the end, it escalates to the point where punishment begets disobedience unless it is so brutal that it serves to make the act unthinkable, which in many cases takes the level of punishment I personally find unpleasant to inflict. I suppose that makes me lenient in some sense, but under ideal circumstances it doesn't come up.

That said, there are certain things which do require punishment, and in those cases I find it best to inflict very serious punishment both in the form of pain and in the form of reduced contact so that the punishment is memorable and expresses the extreme distaste and disappointment which brought us to that point.

EDIT: I should note that this only works for slaves who you have a long-term interaction with and can actually train. If it's just a playmate for a few weeks of D/s you're not going to accomplish any of this.

< Message edited by Palliata -- 2/6/2011 10:49:46 AM >

_____________________________

I speak not of The Way, but only My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

I'm male. I know it sounds female. Work with me.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: how strict are you? - 2/6/2011 1:50:51 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I dunno bout strict, but I am a nit-picky bastard when I'm in the mood (which is pretty much always). Then harsh consequences follow.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: how strict are you? - 2/8/2011 7:27:15 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

how would you say you punish your slave? example, when your slave does something it isnt supposed to, do you punish it right then, or do you let it slide the first few times? Im sure this depends on how lenient (sp?) One is...just curious as to how others do it. I, myself, depending on the crime, depends on the punishment, and also depends on how soon it is delivered. thought?

I don't normally misbehave, so Daddy has only punished me once. When He did, He used an English tawse on my backside. Something happened that I thought was unbearably funny and I laughed out loud at Him during a play party. I knew I was going to "get it" but I just could not stop. Now I know better than to laugh at Him in public.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: how strict are you? - 2/8/2011 8:32:52 PM   
62704


Posts: 27
Joined: 1/16/2011
Status: offline 		My take is that each submissive has their own needs as far as conflict resolution. No two relationships are the same. Shouldn't be treated the same. I've been ferocious with one sub and only moderately stern with another.

I'm not a fan of punishment dynamics (low protocol nonsadist), but I see conflict resolution as one of the few matters that isn't up to me to choose. Rather, it's up to me to recognize how the sub needs to be handled for both of our sakes. Some submissives feel more comfortable in a punishment dynamic. Others require more reasoning engagement. And some will wilt into remorseful tears with just The Look.

The best ones don't screw up that often, so it's a moot issue. I'm with Focus on that point. Unable is different from unwilling. And incompetent is something I try to screen out early on in the 'casual conversation over dinner' phase.

How strict am I? I have few rules, but high expectations. I don't budge at all on the rules, but I'm fairly patient with her reaching those high expectations. And I make sure she understands that, using as much 'strictness' as it appears necessary and no more.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: how strict are you? - 2/21/2011 1:29:13 AM   
DevilishEnvy


Posts: 48
Joined: 2/16/2011
Status: offline 		Often, I get that my girl pushes just to see if I will do something about it. Often, she seems to enjoy the discipline more than simple submission.

Ultimately, back it up, or back off. ( but honestly, I love causing her pain as much as/ if not more than she likes getting it.)

(in reply to 62704)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: how strict are you? - 2/21/2011 3:29:34 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DevilishEnvy

Often, I get that my girl pushes just to see if I will do something about it. Often, she seems to enjoy the discipline more than simple submission.

Ultimately, back it up, or back off. ( but honestly, I love causing her pain as much as/ if not more than she likes getting it.)



Even though this isn't eactly a fresh' thread', don't you feel there is, and even should be, a difference between BDSM play and actual punishment?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DevilishEnvy)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: how strict are you? - 2/21/2011 7:43:56 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Damn I type badly at 5am!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: how strict are you? - 2/21/2011 9:36:26 AM   
Selectivelight


Posts: 191
Joined: 9/30/2010
Status: offline 		It is almost painfully rare that anything happens in my home that needs proper punishment these days. Most of the time it is enough to simply say "I don't want you to do that anymore." and trust that it won't happen again.

But in my past I went through a few rough-and-tumble style relationships. Ah the joys of capricious youth.

The worst punishment I had ever given was to tell a girl these four words: "You have disappointed me." I then told her I would return in an hour when I'd cooled off, and we'd have a little chat about it. She was in tears when I'd returned, and never again did that particular thing. Ostensibly the punishment worked, but I wonder if it was a bit ... heavy handed. I'm glad to have mellowed since then.

Other times in my past I used exercise as my primary device. Nothing like having to hold a particular difficult posture (such as the horse stance, if you're familiar with your martial arts) or to do some kind of difficult labor to remind you that you have things easy until you make them hard on yourself...

I chose this method early on and stuck with it because it offers three things that are important to me. The discomfort of a punishment, the opportunity to better oneself (at least in their fitness) and the time necessary to talk things out while the punishment takes place.

Edited to note:
I chose this over more... traditional methods, because I don't want to use the same things I'd do for fun in a way that isn't. "Let work be work, and play be play." I say.


< Message edited by Selectivelight -- 2/21/2011 9:43:11 AM >

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: how strict are you? - 2/21/2011 11:52:20 AM   
Acharma


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/18/2011
Status: offline 		As a slave, if I knew that I would get spanked by acting up? I would be a brat all the time. Just thinking to myself, don't mind me.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 55
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: how strict are you? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.080