High Protocol...What do you get from it?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

High Protocol...What do you get from it?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> High Protocol...What do you get from it?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/20/2011 10:55:45 PM

SthrnCom4t

Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline

As described in two other threads..."Behind the Scenes...Running a High Protocol event" and "My Submissive's Place is" we have a recent interest in High Protocol.

The impetus for the recent New Year's Eve event that we attended, was to bring together a group. in order to observe and enjoy the power exchange dynamics of other couples. To bring that dynamic energy into our hearts and awareness, as part of a special celebratory event. To escape the mundane energy drain of vanilla working life, and stoke our emotional connectivity through visible and intentional power exchange.

My question to you is..........what do you get from attending and participating in HP events?

If you've never been, what are your thoughts around it? Attractions? Concerns? Fears?

_____________________________

Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim

'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

Post #: 1

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/20/2011 11:51:40 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I get the feeling I'm going to be really active on some threads over the next couple of days. As you know, this is one of My favorite subjects. LOL.

For Me, it is all about the atmosphere, the formality, and the elegance. There is something about high protocol that allows you to hear your unspoken bond. It is the height of service and the receiving of that service. It allows people to focus on their respective places within the dynamic. All of this leads to a greater awareness of Dominant and submissive head space. There's an exceptional clarity that can be experienced.

While high protocol isn't for everyone, not even on an occasional basis, those who enjoy it can feel centered by the structure of service. I've heard some submissives express that they feel completely centered when serving in this capacity. It feeds them in a very special way. Yes, they tend to be nervous and such before an event, but so often, I've heard them tell Me what a special kind of peace they feel when participating in a high protocol event. It touches them in a way that is different than the every day. Especially for those who want to strive to achieve the highest level of service possible.

Of course, there is also a great sense of accomplishment through all of this. It is great for those who want to build their confidence in this area. The servers tend to work really hard for high protocol and when they obtain the kind of service that they hoped they could give, it's very fulfilling for them.

I always tell people, if you've never experienced a high protocol event, it's something you may want to consider trying. You never know. You might just fall in love with it.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SthrnCom4t)

Post #: 2

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/20/2011 11:55:52 PM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

are there any resources you would recommend for those investigating high protocol?

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 3

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 12:39:06 AM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

as my Mistress mentioned i do enjoy the service part and am a bit nervous about the event before hand as i do try to acheive the best possibel service. during the event i am focused on the presentation and prep work as well as ensuring full clean up as well. i do enjoy the feeling of acomplishment after a good service its not sub space but a relaxing place.

_____________________________

proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 4

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 6:59:20 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

To anyone willing to answer, what is high protocol to you? Is it something that's more reserved for events (both threads have mentioned it in terms of Dominant's Dinners) or are there aspects that apply to daily life? Do you employ rituals like kneeling or mantras? Do you even consider rituals to be high protocol?

(in reply to LPslittleclip)

Post #: 5

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 7:15:28 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SthrnCom4t

My question to you is..........what do you get from attending and participating in HP events?

Not my cup of tea, every time I went to one, it felt terribly stiff and really really oppressive, spontaneity and fun was lacking completely.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to SthrnCom4t)

Post #: 6

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 7:27:16 AM

BonesFromAsh

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LPslittleclip
i do enjoy the feeling of acomplishment after a good service its not sub space but a relaxing place.

Kind of like how I feel after catering a successful dinner party. All you can do is just stand back and smile.

This topic is fascinating to me....from both sides, dominant and submissive. I've not had the opportunity to attend a formal high protocol function (in a lifestyle sense) but I've been part of very formal dinner parties as both a guest and as a cook/server. I'm curious to know, if someone could possibly explain...is there a difference between the two? Obviously there would be the D/s dynamic but is there anything else that would differentiate the expectations of both the service and attendees?

(in reply to LPslittleclip)

Post #: 7

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 7:37:31 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

The formal dinner parties seem to be a lot easier to navigate, you know what's expected and good manners (and knowing which cutlery to use, which themes to avoid, etc.) usually see you through, with the D/s formal functions there is the added complication of people having slightly different protocols for their dynamics, so for me it always felt like navigating a mine field and it simply wasn't that much fun.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

Post #: 8

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 8:03:54 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Not my cup of tea, every time I went to one, it felt terribly stiff and really really oppressive, spontaneity and fun was lacking completely.

I've a feeling that it might work for me partly because it'd be stiff and oppressive.

It's odd, actually. I put on a tux and suddenly the manners and style get put on with it.

All in all, I'd certainly give it a whirl.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 9

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 8:09:02 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

*ponders Peon in a tux*

*droools*

*falls over*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 10

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 8:13:16 AM

BonesFromAsh

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

The formal dinner parties seem to be a lot easier to navigate, you know what's expected and good manners (and knowing which cutlery to use, which themes to avoid, etc.) usually see you through, with the D/s formal functions there is the added complication of people having slightly different protocols for their dynamics, so for me it always felt like navigating a mine field and it simply wasn't that much fun.

I'm curious, would the high protocols apply across the board in regards to dynamics, ie; if the party was for dominants and the host made the request that the submissive/slave eat in the kitchen when service is finished and not be present at the table? Would the host be expected to cater to the individual dynamic of the guests or would it be the duty of the guests to honor the request of the host regardless of the individual dynamic?

*ETA...If this is in any way seen by the OP as a hijack, I apologize and would be happy to take this to a private exchange with anyone willing to answer my questions.

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 1/21/2011 8:15:02 AM >

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 11

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 8:27:32 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

so it does seem like HP is mostly for events, like parties?

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

Post #: 12

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 8:41:43 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

I was only there as a guest and the host always seemed to set the tone, with the added complication that not everybody was in the know about what is going on, one submissive I had with me couldn't kneel on the floor due to having had surgery after a sport accident, so I asked if he could have a pillow for him and explained the problem, gawd, you would have thought I tried to murder somebody's baby or tried to drink from the finger bowl.... That was possibly the worst one...

Other one was where nobody explained to us or just me that the submissives all have certain roles and it was all very choreographed....

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

Post #: 13

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 8:47:46 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*ponders Peon in a tux*

*droools*

*falls over*

Thank you. *Blush* :-)

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 14

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 8:53:49 AM

BonesFromAsh

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

I was only there as a guest and the host always seemed to set the tone, with the added complication that not everybody was in the know about what is going on, one submissive I had with me couldn't kneel on the floor due to having had surgery after a sport accident, so I asked if he could have a pillow for him and explained the problem, gawd, you would have thought I tried to murder somebody's baby or tried to drink from the finger bowl.... That was possibly the worst one...

Other one was where nobody explained to us or just me that the submissives all have certain roles and it was all very choreographed....

Interesting...I would have thought the host would include the protocol expectations with the invitation. The example you gave could have easily been avoided with prior knowledge. I've catered for formal dinners where the host was informed a small number of the guests were vegetarian. They were offered a "special" entree thanks to prior discussions. Prior knowledge and discussion of things like dietary concerns not to mention slave/sub limitations and concerns I would expect to be addressed to limit any confussion the day of the event.

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 1/21/2011 8:59:01 AM >

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 15

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 9:10:30 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

I love the indulgence, the like minded company and the feeling of being thoroughly spoilt. The satisfaction of seeing things done with such efficiency and enthusiasm and being impressed by my submissive who is working her little ass off but thoroughly enjoying herself.
I have never held or been to a HP dinner without coming home with a big happy smile on my face. I particularly enjoy hosting but that's the control freak in me!

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 16

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 9:22:25 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

I assume some of the events are possibly alright, I enjoy formal dinner parties, but when it comes to high protocol D/s events, I really want to stay away from it. To be honest, I felt like I was caught in a room full of stage mothers and subbies were the kids they were showing off.

Those 2 events that I mentioned were complete bloppers, the others just felt stiff and uncomfortable, a bit like "Let's watch my sub and hope s/he outperforms other subs while pretending to enjoy the evening but be as stiff as if we had swallowed a broom" - seriously not my idea of fun or how any sub of mine should do, for me the most important part is that I am happy with his or her service and that he or she serves me as I want to. That a sub should have manners and good behaviour is common sense, but I don't think he serves me better if he can assume 125 different slave positions or is pitched against other subs.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

Post #: 17

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 9:43:17 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

To anyone willing to answer, what is high protocol to you? Is it something that's more reserved for events (both threads have mentioned it in terms of Dominant's Dinners) or are there aspects that apply to daily life? Do you employ rituals like kneeling or mantras? Do you even consider rituals to be high protocol?

We do have a high protocol dynamic. Yes, I do consider rituals to be a part of that. Participation in such is a requirement in My household. We have both morning and evening rituals for when we are together or when we are apart. We have a greeting ritual for those occasions when clip is in the house and I am coming home. We have a ritual that is specifically for changing collars from one to the other (leather to every day and also the reverse). We also have a lot of leather protocols in our home, such as not sitting on furniture without permission and asks My permission to leave a room. Drinks are served from a kneeling position, glass in the palm of the hand, offered up. Food is served to Me first and he will eat while sitting at My feet. In the home, he doesn't call Me anything but Mistress. (There have been two occasions where he has had to use My real name due to circumstances beyond his control in public.) Anytime we are together, he kneels to put on My shoes.

Of course, we adjust all of this for situations like dining out or other times we are mixed with the vanilla public. He does sit at the table in restaurants and he doesn't kneel at My feet in the mall. All of the things that have been discusses on the recent manners/gentlemen threads are still requirements in public. Opening doors, carrying packages, taking the 'gentleman's side of the street' and so on.

When mixed with the lifestyle crowd, he is expected to follow leather protocols, even when not especially dealing with leather people. At events or times we're in the homes of other D/s or M/s folks, our protocols for the home are used the majority of the time, unless they specifically contradict the protocols of the situation.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 18

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 9:43:58 AM

SthrnCom4t

Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline

No worries re: hijack....let's enjoy where the conversation goes :)

I believe to make HP gatherings work, ppl just need to communicate expectations ahead of time. With our recent experience, it was well established that the intent of the evening was for everyone to participate and enjoy themselves. Even though there were speech restrictions on the submissives, for part of the evening, that was a mental bondage activity that was agreed to ahead of time. It wasn't truly a "Dominants Dinner" centered event.

For me, if the Host has specific intentions/expectations which impact my dynamic, he/she best let those be known ahead of time. I'll then choose for us to participate, or not. I also always feel like I have the option to leave, if I'm not having fun :)

Many responses on this thread have pointed to the fact that we (Dominants and submissives) like spending time together. Sending the submissives away, frankly, for me, wouldn't be much fun. Otter is much easier to pet, taunt, tease, stroke and erotically humiliate when he's close by. *grin*

And, as an aside, Otter is generally more conversant than I am. (these boards are an example) You'd likely smile if you were a fly on the wall at the conversation between we Dominants. The submissives were not supposed to speak unless given permission, but Otter was much more knowledgeable about the fish smoking process, the make of the smoker, etc than I was. Our Host was curious about the process asked several questions. I kept looking at Otter to give me the answers which he would whisper in my ear, and I would answer....lol. Otter struggled to not be directly involved with the conversation and all the Dominants enjoyed his adherence to the predetermined speech restrictions.

I'll add that our dynamic was the exception to the rule, as everyone else was a Male/femsub dynamic, and of course, ours was a Fem/girlie-boy exchange.

_____________________________

Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim

'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

Post #: 19

RE: High Protocol...What do you get from it? - 1/21/2011 9:56:27 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh
I'm curious, would the high protocols apply across the board in regards to dynamics, ie; if the party was for dominants and the host made the request that the submissive/slave eat in the kitchen when service is finished and not be present at the table? Would the host be expected to cater to the individual dynamic of the guests or would it be the duty of the guests to honor the request of the host regardless of the individual dynamic?

*ETA...If this is in any way seen by the OP as a hijack, I apologize and would be happy to take this to a private exchange with anyone willing to answer my questions.

In general, this is up to the discretion of the host. One thing that I might have missed when replying to the other thread is that it is important for the host to let people know in advance what kind of dinner they are putting on, including what kind of protocols they are having for the evening. You want your guests to know in advance what kind of atmosphere you are trying to present. This gives your guests the option in advance to know if they are willing to participate in the standard that you have set for the evening. That's attire, menu, seating arrangements, and protocols.

On your follow up question, yes. I've attended high protocol dinners where we have had vegans (anybody remember Rumpus?) and an alternate to the dishes that included meat were provided. The same for allergies and such. This is something the host should be working out with individuals prior to the event taking place. (On the other thread, you'll notice that I mentioned providing the invited guests with a proposed menu.)

The general rule is that the protocol of the host is what is maintained for the evening. The guests should be made aware of that in advance and that gives them the option of participating or not.

ETA - Sorry, not enough caffeine in Me. I missed something.

One of the major differences between a vanilla formal dinner and a leather high protocol dinner is your seating chart. Leather protocols have a lot of basis in seniority and that is the way you seat your guests. This makes it easier for the servers to serve people in proper succession.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 1/21/2011 10:15:33 AM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> High Protocol...What do you get from it?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094