going vanilla! (Full Version)

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Darktra151 -> going vanilla! (1/22/2011 7:15:51 PM)

Would you ever go back to the vanilla lifestyle?



Idahobulldom -> RE: going vanilla! (1/22/2011 7:18:27 PM)

Why? Like asking would I got back into the womb? Not an option for me!



sexyred1 -> RE: going vanilla! (1/22/2011 7:19:29 PM)

I would love to be wired that way, but alas, it is beyond repair.



art4YOU -> RE: going vanilla! (1/22/2011 7:21:51 PM)

Hopefully NOT ...love the Kink Community and Lifestyle too much.



smartsub10 -> RE: going vanilla! (1/22/2011 7:26:19 PM)

Never.  Would rather be alone than to try to make another vanilla relationship work.



Darktra151 -> RE: going vanilla! (1/22/2011 7:29:27 PM)

do you ever find yourself wanting it both ways? Vanilla someday and kinky others? 



littlewonder -> RE: going vanilla! (1/22/2011 7:49:11 PM)

I don't separate my life into categories so I can't go back or jump in either one. Life is just that....life.



slavekal -> RE: going vanilla! (1/22/2011 8:26:44 PM)

Absolutely never. I was never there in the first place.



came4U -> RE: going vanilla! (1/22/2011 8:31:13 PM)

Dunno. Maybe if I got bored enough or INSANE enough to fake that kinda thang .

But, knowing my luck...the week after I shack up with some shmuck...I run into my dream Dom and there I'd be...the biggest, skankiest, cheatin'est slutbag on the planet...cuz now way in hell would I keep the shmuck. LOL

So, I better stick to NO, just in case...some have enough problems without me adding to the distress.



Missokyst -> RE: going vanilla! (1/22/2011 8:32:59 PM)

I do relationships, not lifestyles



LaTigresse -> RE: going vanilla! (1/23/2011 5:23:53 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I do relationships, not lifestyles


This. And, the people in my relationships are far more important than a few ativities that may, or may not, be enjoyed.



kalikshama -> RE: going vanilla! (1/23/2011 5:27:02 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

Dunno. Maybe if I got bored enough or INSANE enough to fake that kinda thang .

But, knowing my luck...the week after I shack up with some shmuck...I run into my dream Dom and there I'd be...the biggest, skankiest, cheatin'est slutbag on the planet...cuz now way in hell would I keep the shmuck. LOL

So, I better stick to NO, just in case...some have enough problems without me adding to the distress.


[sm=agree.gif]



ashjor911 -> RE: going vanilla! (1/23/2011 5:34:58 AM)

First can you explane what vanilla lifestyle really is ?
then we will talk.



Prinsexx -> RE: going vanilla! (1/23/2011 5:46:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darktra151

Would you ever go back to the vanilla lifestyle?

I tried it for about a year. What it meant was this:
finding an old friend whom I love very much, discovering that he was judgemental about most aspects of relationship related to kink (meaning anything ourside of procreative straight sex), finding out that he was alone as a consequence off this and alone in a way out of which he was unable to see any solution.
It meant that I still loved him but I love the person I thought he was. It means that there's a great deal we cannot talk about based on my experiences and therefore a great many experiences that I have had which he will never know about or indeed come close to sharing.
But it is still a deep and wonderful friendship based on other shared likes/views/spirituality/food/interests.
In other words having a shared kink is not enough to sustain a relationship if that is all there is. Shared kink can make for wonderful scenes and shared play but may not necessarily endure for a lifetime.
So my answer is: tried to go back but never can to a life without bdsm but a life with only bdsm is not necessarily a way forward.
Best to have it all.



gothikbutterfly -> RE: going vanilla! (1/23/2011 5:46:46 AM)

i would have to say no, because it is too bland for my taste. and besides...i kind of like where i am right now. i have the best Master in the world, who i madly adore and worship the ground he walks on. why change a good thing?



lally2 -> RE: going vanilla! (1/23/2011 6:04:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I would love to be wired that way, but alas, it is beyond repair.


there is no reversive surgery on offer?? - dammit!

sometimes i think about it, as a vague idea i know im not going to really go for.  i think that maybe i could love a man and push away the wiring in me, but i know that it would be just a big fat lie and that eventually id find myself needing this again.

so no. 

it isnt even as if you can quietly submit without them knowing, because all part of this is the fact that they know what youre doing and why and respond to you in a way that lights you up inside and fills that core depth nothing else fills.

so no. 



Prinsexx -> RE: going vanilla! (1/23/2011 6:07:28 AM)

I'm tempted to say that kink is an addiction for me.
And why would I give up an addiction that is safe, sane and nutually consensual?



Kaliko -> RE: going vanilla! (1/23/2011 6:23:21 AM)

Okay - well, now that I'm...sigh...single...I kind of wonder about this sometimes - worry about it, actually. I'm much more about D/s relationships - I guess 50's household? I don't know what the exact term would be - than, say, bondage, sensory deprivation, "scenes", high levels of pain, and anything on my body like body wax, etc. My kink could maybe be considered outside of "BDSM" if the man is an ultra traditional kind of man. I mean, I have done and will do all those things - but ultimately, it's because he wants to, not me. I need the submission and extreme acts of service to a strong personality. I do like it rough in the bedroom, but probably nothing that would scare anyone with a little imagination away. I also need the consequences - whether it's a physical spanking or a stern talking to or whatever. Technically, I suppose I could find much of that with a more vanilla-type man. As long as he's somewhat kinky, though kinky doesn't have to mean BDSM.

And what I wonder about as well is this...if I am a submissive personality, not needing so much the physical aspects of it, if he is a strong enough personality but just not into, say, spankings or a face slap now and then - would I be happy in that more vanilla-type relationship because I am giving him what he wants?

I suppose if he's "vanilla" but willing to allow me to manifest my devotion to him through acts of unconventional and excessive service and submission, and if he was kinky enough to allow some of those acts to be on the extreme ends of the sexual spectrum, and if he could be patient/stern with me when necessary for correction/discipline, and, well, of course, he would need to have that overall dominant personality ....wait...I guess that's D/s, isn't it?

LOL - I guess the answer is no, then. Shit.




ashjor911 -> RE: going vanilla! (1/23/2011 6:55:51 AM)

Kink is an addiction
All of you wrote no
Did anyone consider being in a relationship with someone who can share your own kink?
I mean really think at it for a moment, if you want that relationship to work you or he/she will try hard to make it work, no matter what your kink is.
& if you like something why not sharing your idea with your partner, what would go wrong?



sunshinemiss -> RE: going vanilla! (1/23/2011 7:06:07 AM)

What is vanilla? I think of myself as pretty vanilla with some Hanky Spanky topping on the side. A lot of people on this site are M/s. I'm not. I'm dreadfully boring compared to the others. I guess that makes me vanilla! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! for vanilla!!!



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