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RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/23/2011 6:56:58 PM

NihilusZero

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It's not even a matter of them needing to be intermingled. You think there was ever an effective sociological difference between the two (short of the 'ever-so-slightly-moved-goalposts-of-morality') in the first place?

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Post #: 21

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/23/2011 8:05:16 PM

LPslittleclip

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there are some aspects of my life like the military that dont like diffrent so i keep them separate , but there are some aspects of my life that allow them to intermingle to a point so i enjoy what i can and go on with life

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Post #: 22

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/23/2011 8:29:20 PM

stonesourchix

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Vanilla swirl.. I like that

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Post #: 23

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/23/2011 8:50:36 PM

Killerangel

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Joined: 8/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LPslittleclip

there are some aspects of my life like the military that dont like diffrent so i keep them separate , but there are some aspects of my life that allow them to intermingle to a point so i enjoy what i can and go on with life

You know, that is an excellent point. Like some of the other posters I didn't really see that the two things had to be separate, but in the case where you have something like a military career, you would probably have to keep up more of a mental barrier so nothing little really crosses over and most of us wouldn't have to worry if it did. Something to ponder anyway...

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Post #: 24

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/23/2011 8:58:16 PM

Charles6682

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From: Saint Pete,FL
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There are clearly situations where it makes sense to seperate the 2 lifestyles.The military,law enforcement,working on a job.It should depend on the situation.

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Post #: 25

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/23/2011 10:23:48 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I do consider Mine separate. There are two different males and each one has a specific place in My life. My husband doesn't try to be My sub and My sub doesn't try to be My husband. They are two different flavors. If you really want to get into it, My play partners are the sprinkles, crushed nuts (get your minds out of the CBT gutter), and whipped cream. All in all, it's a hell of a sundae and it's delicious.

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Post #: 26

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/24/2011 3:46:58 AM

LillyBoPeep

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i like blending them, too -- honestly, it's all "life" to me. i may be a kinky person, but i still like bowling. =p
my late M was M and my boyfriend -- for us the love thing didn't really interfere with D/s because our relationship was built on the honesty of our interactions. we went to "vanilla" events, but our relationship was always in tact; it didn't rely on outside constructs for maintenance.
honestly, most of the people i know who live M/s live a pretty ordinary life.

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Post #: 27

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/24/2011 3:51:16 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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Using fast reply.....

I look at it this way. We all have different relationships with each of the people in our lives. Hopefully, each of those relationships is fulfilling in it's way. We get different things from each relationship and give different things to each. Granted, many of our relationships have certain commonalities but no two are exactly the same. I really try to embrace that. To honour not only the specific relationship but also the person. I don't want to ever demand a loved one be what they are not.

A slave can become a friend and/or part of the family, but a family member or friend very likely cannot become my slave or masochistic play partner. Each relationship has boundaries. Just because I honour those boundaries does not mean I am lacking in any way. I am too busy embracing what does exist within that specific relationship. Allowing it to be whatever it is.

Forgive if I've babbled (more than usual)......it's early and I am waiting on my espresso.

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Post #: 28

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/24/2011 4:32:55 AM

phoenixmoonn13

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

After reading another post on here,I thought I would start my own.This is about blending the vanilla lifestyle in with the BDSM lifestyle.I have come across too many people in this lifestyle who think you have to keep the 2 seperate from each other.It is either one or the other.Well,how about a more rational approach to this question?How about blending this lifestyle and Vanilla lifestyles into 1,that works best just for you.Do not get me wrong,I am not talking about wearing a dog collar and leash out in the open public,unless thats what you want!

I do not see a reason to seperate the 2 lifestyles for myself.I have found,mixing the 2 together works just fine for me.I know who I am.I am a geniune submissive and that won't change.However,I also enjoy do many vanilla things.Common sense says there is no need to seperate the 2 lifestyles from each other.Its sort of like the Gay guy asking himself,should I give up being gay,so I can be "vanilla"?I doubt it.Being a submissive for me is like that.I just accept myself for who I am and try to live life.

i struggle to answer this because i am submissive master is dom and thats how we live out lifes its jsut us its who and what we are. so going shopping yes is an everyday activity but our personalities and the way we react to each other doesnt change. only difference is i dont call him master in earshot of others. how can we change who we are. jsut wondering waht you mean by doing vanilla things. we go out do shopping go to parents evenings. all the day to day stuff.

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Post #: 29

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/24/2011 5:23:12 AM

salemartist

Posts: 195
Joined: 12/17/2010
From: Salem
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: salemartist

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I agree. My life is a blend of ingredients, not separate. BDSM is what I like to do, not who or what I am.

I am seeking someone who understands that and who wishes to share a well rounded life.

you got all the ingedients baby!

Can I ge't mine with whipped cream, hot funsge and a sweet redhead on top...

What, no sprinkles?

yes please!

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Post #: 30

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/24/2011 6:59:56 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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Sunny
Quote of the Day
goes to
0ldhen

for

... if you are a teacher do you go home and grade your husbands lovemaking?

Well.....

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Post #: 31

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/24/2011 8:40:05 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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Troublr with vanillas is they don't even know what vanilla means so
there's no point in how you mix it up
it's a no-win no-win situation

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Post #: 32

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/30/2011 12:13:08 AM

MissBHavin

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CeriseNin

I don't keep them separate either. BDSM is what I like to do within a relationship, but I also like watching films, doing to dinner, within the relationship. All activities I enjoy with a partner.

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Post #: 33

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/30/2011 12:29:43 AM

TotalDiscipline

Posts: 225
Joined: 5/5/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Using fast reply.....

I look at it this way. We all have different relationships with each of the people in our lives. Hopefully, each of those relationships is fulfilling in it's way. We get different things from each relationship and give different things to each. Granted, many of our relationships have certain commonalities but no two are exactly the same. I really try to embrace that. To honour not only the specific relationship but also the person. I don't want to ever demand a loved one be what they are not.

A slave can become a friend and/or part of the family, but a family member or friend very likely cannot become my slave or masochistic play partner. Each relationship has boundaries. Just because I honour those boundaries does not mean I am lacking in any way. I am too busy embracing what does exist within that specific relationship. Allowing it to be whatever it is.

Forgive if I've babbled (more than usual)......it's early and I am waiting on my espresso.

this says it all for me.
only..I am awaiting normal coffee.

lovely said!!!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 34

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/30/2011 5:35:38 AM

SourandSweet

Posts: 66
Joined: 1/22/2011
Status: offline

I don't really 'get' this.

We're in a relationship. The relationship happens to be d/s. We go shopping, we go to restaurants, we visit family and friends, and have them visit us.

Whether together or alone our relationship is still d/s. We don't advertise the fact. Family and friends don't know, but we do.

I think what I'm trying to say is even when we're doing everyday things, like shopping etc we're still d/s. Most of our life is taken up with everyday things - work, socialising etc, but for us it's within a d/s context (even if not overtly so) because that's the foundation of our relationship.

If I'm out then I'll be home when he expects me, but my friends won't know that's the case.

If he's out and I'm tired I won't go to bed unless I phone him for permission first. He won't tell his friends that's why I phoned.

If we're lounging around watching a film we're still d/s.

If he's cooking me dinner (he loves cooking - lucky me!) we're still d/s.

To me d/s isn't something you do, just as vanilla isn't something you do. It's more ingrained than that - more the person you are.

:-)

(in reply to TotalDiscipline)

Post #: 35

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/30/2011 9:07:40 PM

Chulain

Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I agree. My life is a blend of ingredients, not separate. BDSM is what I like to do, not who or what I am.

Well put.

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Post #: 36

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/30/2011 11:16:59 PM

PrincessofSadden

Posts: 49
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline

My boyfriend is my sub and my boyfriend. Yes I am his mistress, but I'm also his girlfriend, best friend, and lover. To me there's really no way to keep them separate as I'm naturally a leader and love being in control and my boyfriend is naturally submissive. Even if I were to decide I didn't want to formally be his domme, our relationship would virtually remain the same minus some of the special dialogue such as him calling me Princess. But I can see why some may want to keep their "vanilla" and BDSM lives separate.

- Princess

(in reply to Chulain)

Post #: 37

RE: Vanilla Swirl!! - 1/30/2011 11:31:05 PM

Charles6682

Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline

I like your post PrincessofSadden.Yours is the kind of relationship I am basically seeking myself.Where there is a variety of vanilla and D/S mixed into the relationship.Either way,I would know that she is in control.Its good to see relationships like yours do happen.

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Post #: 38

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