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He doesn't really exercise ever, and he thinks the whole problem is due to his poor health, like he doesn't work and eats a lot of pizza. He's not grossly overweight, he's just like kind of chubby

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When we first started dating, he said it was because he had to get used to me/he had been single for years and was used to jerking off, and like he was used to jerking off like 5 times a day to porn since he stopped working

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ORIGINAL: preytolife

I had a play partner with the same problem. It might be psychological or he might need to visit the doctor to make sure nothing is wrong. Maybe he could consider a medication. If you're that frustrated and you'd rather not take the time to work through it I'd say leave and save both of you the trouble.

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ORIGINAL: hipsterkittyxo

So, I'm not really sure if this goes here, but I identify as submissive and want responses from like-minded individuals. Basically, my owner really struggles with achieving orgasm.

Like, it's not a new problem, I've known about it since the beginning and he doesn't seem to be too worried about it. Naturally, I get sore and tired after awhile and I don't complain or anything, and I don't begrudge it, I just can't really enjoy any sexy things we do because I feel like it's pointless because he doesn't get off half of the time, and the other half of the time, we have sex and then he can't orgasm from sex and I just give him oral. He's said himself that he wishes he could just like fill me with cum and la la la, but I don't think he knows what to do either.

As far as like our dynamic, maybe I shouldn't be worried about this and I should just leave it all up to him, but I like legit care, if not like for our relationship, but for any future ones he has, because if it's something that could be fixed, by any means, I want it to be fixed.

He doesn't really exercise ever, and he thinks the whole problem is due to his poor health, like he doesn't work and eats a lot of pizza. He's not grossly overweight, he's just like kind of chubby, so I don't really understand it, because I've dated much unhealthier people who like couldn't last more than a couple minutes. When we first started dating, he said it was because he had to get used to me/he had been single for years and was used to jerking off, and like he was used to jerking off like 5 times a day to porn since he stopped working, and that it had also been like a problem his whole life. I thought it was like porn addiction whatever, but we more/less live together and he stopped masturbating completely for awhile, and nothing really improved. He's also really low on testosterone. He's also about 27, if that matters. Maybe he's gay or it's a prostate thing? He had a vasectomy when he was like in his very early twenties. I really just don't know. I'm just like at a loss and it's creating a lot of anxiety, because I don't want to give 1.5 hour long blow jobs several times a day for the rest of my life, despite how orally fixated I may be and all of the instant gratification. I know that I don't really have a choice if I want to be with him, and it's not really my decision what we do anyway, and I gladly would do it, but I think I'm just burnt out. Furthermore, there's like no real spontaneity to sex, like if I want to fuck 10 minutes before I have class or I want to like fool around somewhere, it can't be like a quick thing, like we both know it takes forever.

We talk about everything and I'm not like shy about talking about stuff, so I don't need to know how to do that, I just want to know if anyone has any ideas or if anyone has had any similar experiences. Or, tips for not being sore, and jaw exercises. Or if you think he's gay &/or I should just leave, that's fine too. Or, is it me? Am I like thinking about it in the wrong way or like am I not being submissive? Any responses are appreciated.

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When we first started dating, he said it was because he had to get used to me/he had been single for years and was used to jerking off, and like he was used to jerking off like 5 times a day to porn since he stopped working

Is he still not working? Maybe he's depressed? Exercise is THE best natural remedy for mild/moderate depression: http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/QAA326655

I'm going to address a whole other aspect separately.

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ORIGINAL: shyslut

Agreed.  He should see the doctor. 

Some ideas to help the immediate situation is to have him jerk it and have you enter the equation when he's much closer to getting off. 

Using long lasting lube might help you with the sore vagina. 

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So he knows he is low in testosterone?
Is he being treated for that?

Has he been to the doctor about this?

Since this makes you sore, are you using additional lubrication? A silicone based one might be best.

I think you are jumping the gun in making a guess that he is gay or that you just don't do it for him.
Likely it is a physical thing that may be remedied once he has a thorough evaluation.

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Like, it's not a new problem, I've known about it since the beginning and he doesn't seem to be too worried about it.

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he like inherited money and quit his job and is just relaxing for awhile

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ORIGINAL: kalikshama

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he like inherited money and quit his job and is just relaxing for awhile

Then he should join a gym and hire a personal trainer. And take some gourmet healthy cooking classes.

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Sometimes with orgasm it is better to focus on the journey rather than the destination. Try not to place so much importance to his orgasm, especially since he's not.

What do you guys do before the 90 minute blowjob?

I've had wonderful scenes with men who have never taken their pants off, which makes me feel rather selfish after they've given me hours of pleasure, but they are calling the shots and I try to get them to let me reciprocate non-sexually.

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it's just making sex into a chore due to the amount of time and effort involved.

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ORIGINAL: hipsterkittyxo

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So he knows he is low in testosterone?
Is he being treated for that?

Has he been to the doctor about this?

Since this makes you sore, are you using additional lubrication? A silicone based one might be best.

I think you are jumping the gun in making a guess that he is gay or that you just don't do it for him.
Likely it is a physical thing that may be remedied once he has a thorough evaluation.

Yeah, we don't use any additional lube ever. He doesn't like know he has know testosterone, he just like is aware of how he doesn't grow very much body/facial hair, he has like a high pitched voice, he doesn't build any muscle, etc. I don't know if he's ever been officially tested. Just like since I've known him, he's always like, "Oh la la la I have low testosterone."

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ORIGINAL: hipsterkittyxo
Furthermore, there's like no real spontaneity to sex, like if I want to fuck 10 minutes before I have class or I want to like fool around somewhere, it can't be like a quick thing, like we both know it takes forever.