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RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/8/2011 10:56:58 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Why should she make a list? She already said she will know when it is the right one. Not everyone needs to refer to a list.

We just know what we want ideally, what is negotiable and what is non negotiable. Then you hope for the best when you meet. Normally, one meets after communicating a bit so the only thing left is to see if there is chemistry and compatibility and if you know that is not present on that first meet, then you move on graciously like the OP said she did.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 2/8/2011 10:58:21 AM >

(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/8/2011 11:08:00 AM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Why should she make a list? She already said she will know when it is the right one. Not everyone needs to refer to a list.

We just know what we want ideally, what is negotiable and what is non negotiable. Then you hope for the best when you meet. Normally, one meets after communicating a bit so the only thing left is to see if there is chemistry and compatibility and if you know that is not present on that first meet, then you move on graciously like the OP said she did.


It was just a suggestion that i found was helpful to me when i was new, as she said she was.

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(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/8/2011 5:16:10 PM   
martina1955


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/21/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks for the replies everybody, everyone has been so helpful. I let the Doms know my do's and don'ts before we have a face to face meet. Some of the Doms are hard to figure out through emails, Some are not who the want to be and others are very harsh and in your face, at least you know where they are coming from. The ones that don't say much are hard to figure until the meet and their true self's come out, such as the case with the Dom I met with.

Another update, I just began to chat with another Dom, so far so good in the chatting portion, fingers crossed that he may be the one I submit to.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/8/2011 6:16:12 PM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		Keep us up to date

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(in reply to martina1955)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/10/2011 1:58:47 AM   
martina1955


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/21/2008
Status: offline 		Update: Can someone explain to me why men think all a submissive wants is cock. A so-called Dom contacts me so I asked him his stats and what interests he had, then he reply's with a nude pic from the waist down taken from a cell phone through a mirror in a bathroom. His reply with his pic was "i'll let you decide if I meet your needs" Go Figure

(in reply to Buzzzz)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/10/2011 2:17:19 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: martina1955

Update: Can someone explain to me why men think all a submissive wants is cock. A so-called Dom contacts me so I asked him his stats and what interests he had, then he reply's with a nude pic from the waist down taken from a cell phone through a mirror in a bathroom. His reply with his pic was "i'll let you decide if I meet your needs" Go Figure


Maybe he thought that by asking what his stats were you were asking about his penis size.


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(in reply to martina1955)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/10/2011 2:28:22 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

quote:

ORIGINAL: martina1955

Update: Can someone explain to me why men think all a submissive wants is cock. A so-called Dom contacts me so I asked him his stats and what interests he had, then he reply's with a nude pic from the waist down taken from a cell phone through a mirror in a bathroom. His reply with his pic was "i'll let you decide if I meet your needs" Go Figure


Maybe he thought that by asking what his stats were you were asking about his penis size.

i agree.


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(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/10/2011 2:37:21 AM   
martina1955


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/21/2008
Status: offline 		I'm not so sure about that, normally stats are your weight, height, age. everyone of his emails are about a half of a sentence.

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/10/2011 3:20:21 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Y'know, there are a lot of women here that won't bother with men who supply half sentence emails.

And of course, the less vague your questions, the less chance that you'll have miscommunication. Unless you were deliberately using open ended questions to let him drive things.



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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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(in reply to martina1955)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/10/2011 4:18:21 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		Stats, Stevie

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/10/2011 5:52:13 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Stats:

Mean = 5'9"
Standard deviation = .25 inches
Skewness - skewed as hell


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/10/2011 7:54:08 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		lists can be helpful if you're the type of person who gets tangled up in your own thoughts (like me! haha) and making a list doesnt mean relying on it for ultimate judgment; sometimes i worry that's what happens when people figure out what their "ideal" is -- they rely on it too much and miss out on really awesome people because they were an inch too short or a year too old.
spending some time to figure out what type of relationship you're looking for, the character traits you like in another person, etc. isn't always a waste of time.

and yeah -- i rarely, if ever, respond to half sentences or one-word mails. there's not really anything to respond TO. =p

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/10/2011 1:03:28 PM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I gave Holly my stats once. She fainted. I love bragging.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/10/2011 1:44:42 PM   
martina1955


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/21/2008
Status: offline 		I'm only a submissive until a Dominant and I agree to a D/s relationship. So when we meet online, it's like an interview for both of us to see if we have the same interests, which would makes us a good fit. When a Dom ask me about my interest, or ask a question, I give the Dominant a truthful answer, all I expect is the same in return.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/10/2011 4:38:35 PM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I have had subs give me a check off list on likes and limits. Make your own up. Best way to find out how compatable you are with someone.

(in reply to martina1955)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/10/2011 6:29:22 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: martina1955

I'm only a submissive until a Dominant and I agree to a D/s relationship. So when we meet online, it's like an interview for both of us to see if we have the same interests, which would makes us a good fit. When a Dom ask me about my interest, or ask a question, I give the Dominant a truthful answer, all I expect is the same in return.


Absolutely spot on. Unfortunately you can't tell can you if anyone is being truthful online. You can expect the same in return and whether you get it is a crap shoot. You seem to be doing well in how you are approaching things. Throw out the ones who send cock shots and reply in half sentences - you can see they're only looking for sex and if thats not what you want as well then you won't be a match. It's no good getting discouraged over it, it's still going to happen. Just move on 

(in reply to martina1955)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/12/2011 1:04:35 AM   
martina1955


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/21/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks you Dnomyar, and Lizi. I'm not discouraged, I know we have a lot of idiot's out there and I will just have to weed them out. I'm still online with a potential Dom, he seems sincere and we will be setting up a meet in a couple of weeks. He sent me a photo also but it was from the waist up....lol...I do know sex is part of a D/s relationship, but it is only a small part. I not only need the physical training, I also need the mental. Thanks to everyone for their encouragement.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 37
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