|
Nineveh -> looking for feedback (1/27/2011 2:01:12 PM)
|
OK, first, to explain who I am. I am a married Dom and service top in an open relationship. I'm the opposite of those professionally successful alpha males who serve as the cream of a pro-domme's clientele, I'm professionally fairly unsuccessful, not terribly educated (some college, no degree, working on one now) and not an alpha in my day to day life but with an intense need to be in control and a burning attraction to successful, powerful women who need to submit.I'm in Ohio. My wife likes playing sub but doesn't sub to me. She's got a Dom that is currently online only, may become more than that but there are no plans in that direction at the moment.
I meanwhile sort of have 3 subs.
I'll go from least intense to most with these
First there is a beautiful geologist who lives in Northern Canada. She's collared, with permission to play with me online. Sounds extremely casual but to make it more complex she's a switch and credits me with having flipped her switch firmly into the sub position. She credits that with why her Dom was interested in offering a collar rather than continuing the relatively casual relationship they had at the level it was at. I don't see this going anywhere but where it is, but it is there, and it is intense enough to be worth mentioning.
Secondly there is a woman in California who is in a don't ask don't tell marriage. She's mentioned me to her husband and he is ok with it so long as he doesn't have it shoved in his face. She's new to D/s and somewhat overwhelmed by the feelings I inspire in her. I like her quite a bit, I can see us having a nice online D/s relationship with occasional realtime visits (her financial situation and mine are both bad enough they'd have to only be occasional) but it is not intense enough, for me, that it is something that has to happen or something I'd be heartbroken about if it ended. Sad and frustrated sure, but not heartbroken.
And then we have the one that I am head over heels for. She's in Arizona, beautiful, brilliant, very respected professionally, head over heels for me, and married to a man who does not know and would not approve. I don't want to steal her, she's happy with him aside from sexually (he apparently has a very low sex drive) and they have a child together. Even just the online and occasional phone relationship that we have is not something he would be at all happy to find out about and taking it any further would, obviously be something that would break the poor man's heart if he discovered it. I'm not a supporter of cheating generally, and really didn't intend to be in the situation I am in, however I'm at the point now where ending it would leave me absolutely devastated and am really unsure what to do. I don't fall in love easily, aside from my wife it had been ten years since someone got that deeply into my heart, and when that ended I attempted suicide and was severely depressed for several years.
I do have a tough hide, those of you that want to castigate me for fooling around with a married woman in a non-open relationship, feel free to open cannons, some helpful criticism would be much more appreciated though.
|
|
|
|
