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labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/2/2006 6:19:11 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline 		Lately there have been alot of threads about labels.

Sometimes these labels are placed on us by society at large, by specific groups, my individuals or by ourselves. The problem I see with labels is your expected to fit into nice little packages of how others define things.
 
This has gotten me thinking. I know how Phoenix and I define us, but I am curious how others would define us. Perhaps I am asking for trouble in this but I am truly curious to what lables people would put on us, on me and why.
 
I am collared to Phoenix, however I am not submissive to anyone else but him. I am very dominate outside of our relationship. I have had others in my collar previously and am now looking at the possiblity of another. I have read J. Normans series on gor and have taken some of those ideas and practice some of those ideas. Some of the positions are very beautiful. Some of the ideas of honor are noble in my eyes. The power exchange is depicted is amazing. I enjoy giving and receiving pain. I love edge play.
 
So what am I ?
 
beyond simply me that is......
 

 
How do others label you?
 
Does it really matter how others label you?
 
curiously
 
 
Phoenix's Nika

< Message edited by Phoenixandnika -- 5/2/2006 6:20:34 PM >

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."


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RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/2/2006 6:50:32 PM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika


How do others label you?


I have in my time been labeled biker trash, a slave, a mother, a friend, an adreneline junkie.

quote:

Does it really matter how others label you?
  

Not really, i have been and still am all of those things. Without the labels i would still be uniquely me, i am something more than each of those, i am the sum of all of them.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
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RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/2/2006 6:57:25 PM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika

So what am I ?

How do others label you?
 
Does it really matter how others label you?
  
Phoenix's Nika

a) Switch
b) Dominant and Master (to mine)
c) Yes..as an identifier, other than that...not really.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
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RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/2/2006 8:07:01 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika
So what am I ?

S&M and D&S switch who likes romanticism and ritual
 
quote:
How do others label you?

Hmmm everything from goddess to player
 
quote:

Does it really matter how others label you?

It matters, yes.  How others perceive me is important, especially if one is owned.  I am a reflection upon those I choose to be with and they upon me.  If I'm getting a particular label, it means that's some of how I'm being processed and perceived in their eyes and it's important to understand that.

But it doesn't matter to the point where I allow them and their perceptions to decide ultimately who I am and what is right and best for me.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
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RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/2/2006 8:27:26 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Mother..first and always
Submissive
Friend
Labels do not bother me....I am these things.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/2/2006 9:58:42 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika

Does it really matter how others label you?


No.  Whatever will be, will be.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/2/2006 11:46:45 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I'm not sure if you're seeking some sort of approval here or validation for your choices, but wouldn't this question be better put to your real life friends rather than those who only know what you share of yourself in cyber space?

I find it a bit curious that you're so curious what anyone on these forums thinks of your 'label.'

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
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RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/3/2006 12:00:46 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I'm not sure if you're seeking some sort of approval here or validation for your choices, but wouldn't this question be better put to your real life friends rather than those who only know what you share of yourself in cyber space?

I find it a bit curious that you're so curious what anyone on these forums thinks of your 'label.'

Celeste

So am I  - I don't think I'd worry too much when it comes to the net - Here one day gone the next.


 - R


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/3/2006 12:05:43 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I'm not sure if you're seeking some sort of approval here or validation for your choices, but wouldn't this question be better put to your real life friends rather than those who only know what you share of yourself in cyber space?

I find it a bit curious that you're so curious what anyone on these forums thinks of your 'label.'

Celeste

So am I  - I don't think I'd worry too much when it comes to the net - Here one day gone the next.


- R



I'm with bita and Ranger on this one.  Who cares what a bunch of avatars with words typed in next to them think of you and yours?  Why would you ask anyone that doesn't know you personally unless you are so terribly insecure that you are looking for any kind of ego boost you can find?  Or, are so deeply in need of humiliation and degradation that you would open yourself to the cruelty of random losers on the net?
 
 
Be who you are and be secure in who you are.  Your own approval is all that matters.

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to UtopianRanger)
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RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/3/2006 12:06:49 AM   
Kedikat


Posts: 680
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		The silly thing about labels, is they are just words. Words are always interpreted in different ways by different people. To try and find just a few right words to label something as complex as a person or their lifestyle, just invites misunderstanding.

A few basic terms can describe some very basic aspects of you. But it takes a lot more than a label to list all the ingredients in a person.

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
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RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/3/2006 12:29:32 AM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		I think the original intent of this post was merely to see what labels people would put to a situation that they knew only the basics about.  More importantly, I think they were also looking for WHY certain labels would be applied by people.  More of a study in perception than a cry for an ego boost or validation.  I find perceptions and labels fascinating too, especially because they mean different things to different people.
As for how I would identify this person: switch, because of the dom and sub roles in different contexts.

(in reply to Kedikat)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/3/2006 5:43:21 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
I'm not sure if you're seeking some sort of approval here or validation for your choices, but wouldn't this question be better put to your real life friends rather than those who only know what you share of yourself in cyber space?

I find it a bit curious that you're so curious what anyone on these forums thinks of your 'label.'

Celeste

I think both have their place.  One DOES create an identity for themselves online.  We put our words, our perspectives, our experiences out there in a specific pattern, using specific words.  As writers we're constantly editing, revising, reshaping, and those edits and revisions have a direct effect on how we are perceived in the whole.  We try to form an idea of "self" in a cyber domain.  I think knowing how others perceive and process that "self" can be quite telling, about ourselves and about the perceivers.

Plus the narcissistic streak in me LOVES knowing what others think and feel about me.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/3/2006 6:21:44 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		mmmmmmm Phoenix and Nika seems to be a fitting label for you I suppose... as good as any don't you think?

The only people who's lablels have any impact on me are those that are significant to me and that is a pretty small number.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 5/3/2006 6:23:29 AM >

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
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RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/3/2006 6:38:37 AM   
valeca


Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		A) Switch--as a broad definition
B) Don't know; never asked.
C) When 'others' means significant people in my life, it can matter as they can affect how I see myself.  When 'others' means people who have little to no impact in my life, it doesn't matter

_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/3/2006 7:02:37 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Oooh Oooh Oooh, Mistah Kah-tah... can I get labeled peas cuz I likes peas... LOL

I don't really care what people label me... never have, never will... as long as I can stand to look in the mirror at the end of the day, that is what truly matters...

- Dustyn


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/3/2006 8:18:57 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

So what am I ?

An individual, a wonderfully complex, unique and undefinable individual (just like everybody else )

quote:

How do others label you?

Probably as an opinionated asshole, but I really don't know, nor does make any difference to me.

quote:

Does it really matter how others label you?

Well, I suppose that for enough money I could pretend I give a fuck, but unless it was a really large sum of money I doubt I would be very convincing.



_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/3/2006 10:19:15 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika

So what am I ?
 
beyond simply me that is......
 

 
How do others label you?
 
Does it really matter how others label you?
 
curiously
 
 
Phoenix's Nika


I am a 43 year old human female, dominant by nature.

I've been called a sweetheart, a bitch, Goddess, Ms-know-it-all, Mommy, baby.

I frankly do not care how others outside of my daughter view me. I'm not out to win any popularity contests, I'm here to live my life as I see fit. If people agree with me fine if not fuck 'em

~Lashra

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/3/2006 11:17:27 AM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: beltainefaerie

I think the original intent of this post was merely to see what labels people would put to a situation that they knew only the basics about.  More importantly, I think they were also looking for WHY certain labels would be applied by people.  More of a study in perception than a cry for an ego boost or validation.  I find perceptions and labels fascinating too, especially because they mean different things to different people.
As for how I would identify this person: switch, because of the dom and sub roles in different contexts.


Exactly I was simply curious as to what labels others would put on "my "situation and how they felt about labels. I find labesl in general entertaining and how they change from person to person. I like to try and undersand why people use certain labels and how they react to labels put on them.
 
 
Do I care personally what stangers on the net label me as? In truth, I don't care how most people online and r/t label me. I know who and what I am but I am always curious as to how others label me and why. I suppose it is my way of trying to understand labels and more specifically the difference among people even people who are "classed" together by society. If that makes sense.
 
Phoenix's Nika

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to beltainefaerie)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/3/2006 12:05:33 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		The only label I'm absolutely certian fits me in this lifestyle is "newbie".  I picked "submissive" from the dropdown list because "confused" wasn't there.

I've no idea how others see me. BUT I don't have a problem with labels if they help with communication. I think it's our own fault if we limit ourselves or box ourselves in because of a label. Words in general, are tools to aid communication. They should serve us, not the other way around.

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
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RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit - 5/3/2006 1:57:49 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Plus the narcissistic streak in me LOVES knowing what others think and feel about me.


I think the purple peeps bunny icon is not an accurate symbolic representation of your online identity. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 20
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