labels and seeing where others see where you fit

labels and seeing where others see where you fit (Full Version)

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Phoenixandnika -> labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/2/2006 6:19:11 PM)
Lately there have been alot of threads about labels. Sometimes these labels are placed on us by society at large, by specific groups, my individuals or by ourselves. The problem I see with labels is your expected to fit into nice little packages of how others define things. This has gotten me thinking. I know how Phoenix and I define us, but I am curious how others would define us. Perhaps I am asking for trouble in this but I am truly curious to what lables people would put on us, on me and why. I am collared to Phoenix, however I am not submissive to anyone else but him. I am very dominate outside of our relationship. I have had others in my collar previously and am now looking at the possiblity of another. I have read J. Normans series on gor and have taken some of those ideas and practice some of those ideas. Some of the positions are very beautiful. Some of the ideas of honor are noble in my eyes. The power exchange is depicted is amazing. I enjoy giving and receiving pain. I love edge play. So what am I ? beyond simply me that is...... How do others label you? Does it really matter how others label you? curiously Phoenix's Nika

twicehappy -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/2/2006 6:50:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika How do others label you? I have in my time been labeled biker trash, a slave, a mother, a friend, an adreneline junkie. quote: Does it really matter how others label you? Not really, i have been and still am all of those things. Without the labels i would still be uniquely me, i am something more than each of those, i am the sum of all of them.

ScooterTrash -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/2/2006 6:57:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika So what am I ? How do others label you? Does it really matter how others label you? Phoenix's Nika a) Switch b) Dominant and Master (to mine) c) Yes..as an identifier, other than that...not really.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/2/2006 8:07:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika So what am I ? S&M and D&S switch who likes romanticism and ritual quote: How do others label you? Hmmm everything from goddess to player quote: Does it really matter how others label you? It matters, yes. How others perceive me is important, especially if one is owned. I am a reflection upon those I choose to be with and they upon me. If I'm getting a particular label, it means that's some of how I'm being processed and perceived in their eyes and it's important to understand that. But it doesn't matter to the point where I allow them and their perceptions to decide ultimately who I am and what is right and best for me.

cuddleheart50 -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/2/2006 8:27:26 PM)
Mother..first and always Submissive Friend Labels do not bother me....I am these things.

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/2/2006 9:58:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika Does it really matter how others label you? No. Whatever will be, will be.

BitaTruble -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/2/2006 11:46:45 PM)
I'm not sure if you're seeking some sort of approval here or validation for your choices, but wouldn't this question be better put to your real life friends rather than those who only know what you share of yourself in cyber space? I find it a bit curious that you're so curious what anyone on these forums thinks of your 'label.' Celeste

UtopianRanger -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/3/2006 12:00:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble I'm not sure if you're seeking some sort of approval here or validation for your choices, but wouldn't this question be better put to your real life friends rather than those who only know what you share of yourself in cyber space? I find it a bit curious that you're so curious what anyone on these forums thinks of your 'label.' Celeste So am I - I don't think I'd worry too much when it comes to the net - Here one day gone the next. - R

yourMissTress -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/3/2006 12:05:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble I'm not sure if you're seeking some sort of approval here or validation for your choices, but wouldn't this question be better put to your real life friends rather than those who only know what you share of yourself in cyber space? I find it a bit curious that you're so curious what anyone on these forums thinks of your 'label.' Celeste So am I - I don't think I'd worry too much when it comes to the net - Here one day gone the next. - R I'm with bita and Ranger on this one. Who cares what a bunch of avatars with words typed in next to them think of you and yours? Why would you ask anyone that doesn't know you personally unless you are so terribly insecure that you are looking for any kind of ego boost you can find? Or, are so deeply in need of humiliation and degradation that you would open yourself to the cruelty of random losers on the net? Be who you are and be secure in who you are. Your own approval is all that matters.

Kedikat -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/3/2006 12:06:49 AM)
The silly thing about labels, is they are just words. Words are always interpreted in different ways by different people. To try and find just a few right words to label something as complex as a person or their lifestyle, just invites misunderstanding. A few basic terms can describe some very basic aspects of you. But it takes a lot more than a label to list all the ingredients in a person.

beltainefaerie -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/3/2006 12:29:32 AM)
I think the original intent of this post was merely to see what labels people would put to a situation that they knew only the basics about. More importantly, I think they were also looking for WHY certain labels would be applied by people. More of a study in perception than a cry for an ego boost or validation. I find perceptions and labels fascinating too, especially because they mean different things to different people. As for how I would identify this person: switch, because of the dom and sub roles in different contexts.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/3/2006 5:43:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble I'm not sure if you're seeking some sort of approval here or validation for your choices, but wouldn't this question be better put to your real life friends rather than those who only know what you share of yourself in cyber space? I find it a bit curious that you're so curious what anyone on these forums thinks of your 'label.' Celeste I think both have their place. One DOES create an identity for themselves online. We put our words, our perspectives, our experiences out there in a specific pattern, using specific words. As writers we're constantly editing, revising, reshaping, and those edits and revisions have a direct effect on how we are perceived in the whole. We try to form an idea of "self" in a cyber domain. I think knowing how others perceive and process that "self" can be quite telling, about ourselves and about the perceivers. Plus the narcissistic streak in me LOVES knowing what others think and feel about me.

KnightofMists -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/3/2006 6:21:44 AM)
mmmmmmm Phoenix and Nika seems to be a fitting label for you I suppose... as good as any don't you think? The only people who's lablels have any impact on me are those that are significant to me and that is a pretty small number.

valeca -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/3/2006 6:38:37 AM)
A) Switch--as a broad definition B) Don't know; never asked. C) When 'others' means significant people in my life, it can matter as they can affect how I see myself. When 'others' means people who have little to no impact in my life, it doesn't matter

Dustyn -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/3/2006 7:02:37 AM)
Oooh Oooh Oooh, Mistah Kah-tah... can I get labeled peas cuz I likes peas... LOL I don't really care what people label me... never have, never will... as long as I can stand to look in the mirror at the end of the day, that is what truly matters... - Dustyn

Arpig -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/3/2006 8:18:57 AM)
quote: So what am I ? An individual, a wonderfully complex, unique and undefinable individual (just like everybody else [;)]) quote: How do others label you? Probably as an opinionated asshole, but I really don't know, nor does make any difference to me. quote: Does it really matter how others label you? Well, I suppose that for enough money I could pretend I give a fuck, but unless it was a really large sum of money I doubt I would be very convincing.

Lashra -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/3/2006 10:19:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika So what am I ? beyond simply me that is...... How do others label you? Does it really matter how others label you? curiously Phoenix's Nika I am a 43 year old human female, dominant by nature. I've been called a sweetheart, a bitch, Goddess, Ms-know-it-all, Mommy, baby. I frankly do not care how others outside of my daughter view me. I'm not out to win any popularity contests, I'm here to live my life as I see fit. If people agree with me fine if not fuck 'em [:D] ~Lashra

Phoenixandnika -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/3/2006 11:17:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beltainefaerie I think the original intent of this post was merely to see what labels people would put to a situation that they knew only the basics about. More importantly, I think they were also looking for WHY certain labels would be applied by people. More of a study in perception than a cry for an ego boost or validation. I find perceptions and labels fascinating too, especially because they mean different things to different people. As for how I would identify this person: switch, because of the dom and sub roles in different contexts. Exactly I was simply curious as to what labels others would put on "my "situation and how they felt about labels. I find labesl in general entertaining and how they change from person to person. I like to try and undersand why people use certain labels and how they react to labels put on them. Do I care personally what stangers on the net label me as? In truth, I don't care how most people online and r/t label me. I know who and what I am but I am always curious as to how others label me and why. I suppose it is my way of trying to understand labels and more specifically the difference among people even people who are "classed" together by society. If that makes sense. Phoenix's Nika

TNstepsout -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/3/2006 12:05:33 PM)
The only label I'm absolutely certian fits me in this lifestyle is "newbie". I picked "submissive" from the dropdown list because "confused" wasn't there. I've no idea how others see me. BUT I don't have a problem with labels if they help with communication. I think it's our own fault if we limit ourselves or box ourselves in because of a label. Words in general, are tools to aid communication. They should serve us, not the other way around.

Sensualips -> RE: labels and seeing where others see where you fit (5/3/2006 1:57:49 PM)
quote: Plus the narcissistic streak in me LOVES knowing what others think and feel about me. I think the purple peeps bunny icon is not an accurate symbolic representation of your online identity.

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