Online Play? (Full Version)

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Darktra151 -> Online Play? (1/29/2011 4:08:16 AM)

Online Play.. is it worth it? From my experience online play can be a great way to expend some kinky energy. Its purely based in fantasy and that can be both good and bad but is it really worth it.  On one hand you get to be kinky without the hassle of travel and its close to home. But other the one your not there. Everything you have a submissive do , he is doing to himself.  The only pressure he is under is that of a web cam person and the clock on the wall. Its missing that in person interaction which is the best. Also can you really trust what the other says and does.  As soon as soon signs off they could go and do whatever they want.. No matter your agreement is. It happens in real life d/s roles as well but the fact that ur play is online has to make it easier. So what do u think. Is online play really worth the energy? Is it based on the situation the ppl are in?



DarkSteven -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 4:34:05 AM)

All other things being equal, I prefer RL hands down.  But I eased into D/s with online years ago, and there are some who are not able to do RL (vanilla spouse, cannot find a local partner, etc.)



kdsusa7894 -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 4:45:07 AM)

I'm not sure if it's worth it in the long run but I have heard of some long-standing relationships on here that started online and are now RL, so maybe it is. Personally, I'm glad I started my learning online due to the fact I would have jumped in with both feet if I had a local scene, which would have been foolhardy at best and very dangerous as I had no knowledge of BDSM. As a learning tool is it worth it - definately. As a starting point for a LTR - seems to happen sometimes so I would have to say yeah. I would prefer RL also but not an option at this point, but as a starting point to something that is, I think it's worth it.



diaperslave101 -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 4:54:10 AM)

As a sub/slave the problem for me is that online situations are too "voluntary". Obedience is not enforceable, and punishment is not possible unless it is by cutting off contact. I have tried this and I always found online Dom/Dommes to be inexperienced and unable to exert any influence or pressure, and when you know that any threat is an empty threat it all seems so pointless. Even if the "force" you to give your real name and address, there is no way to prove that it is for real anyway.

Just my 0.02 worth from my own experience.



preytolife -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 5:00:22 AM)

I think it does depend on the situation people are in. I normally find it intensely unsatisfying, I avoid it and have nothing good to say about people who are exclusively online through their own choice.... However, needs are needs... When I'm single and alone 3+ months I start getting antsy and I'm craving some kind of D/s to a point where I'm not acting normally and my mind isn't in the right place. When I get to that point, if I can find a nice connection online a good online or phone session will hold me over in a pinch... or if they're really good I'll be even more out of my mind.



Whenready -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 5:04:45 AM)

I have found it worth it. Others on these forums have disagreed. What you put in you tend to get out. Face to face is immediate - but unless you have 24/7 then what's to stop the sub doing as they choose when you go to work? Swings and roundabouts. If you both work at it and communicate well with each other - it stands a decent chance of working.



LillyBoPeep -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 5:24:14 AM)

i've always wondered how online D/s and scening work. i've never done either myself. for some it can be very fulfilling if they make a great connection with someone far away. i don't know if it would work for me, though. 



lizi -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 5:45:47 AM)

I think it has a place and is a good place to start. It was a good way for me to become accustomed to things in the beginning. I have had situations where the person on the other end was getting into it and I wasn't so much, and I was pretty much slacking off on what he wanted me to do. Obviously he didnt know it and couldn't tell since we weren't on cam or anything, and in the end it pretty much destroyed any submissive feelings I had for him. I think once I went there - blowing off what I was told to do - I couldn't really get back to where I was before.

Knowing how that happened I'd be very careful if I were to do anything online with someone that mattered to me, and I'd be more communicative if I wasn't up for it for some reason - people floating around in the background or what have you. In other words, unless I planned on truly following every direction, I wouldn't put myself in the situation of being tempted to rebel because it wouldn't be a worthy way to treat someone I really did respect. If I honestly wasn't ready to get innocent vegetables and put them to nefarious purposes, it wouldn't serve any purpose except a destructive one to say I was doing it while I was actually filing my nails.

Been there, done that - online was ultimately unfulfilling for me and kind of tawdry. RL has an honesty and transparency that makes the whole D/s thing worthwhile for me. It's like comparing a comic book to life. The comic book has a place for light entertainment but life is infinitely more desirable. Being with someone in real time is raw, gritty, immediate and powerful. You get smells, touch, and sounds. You can't run from it. Online can be halfhearted and pale. If it's all you have I guess it's better than nothing but there's really no comparison in the end.



Chulain -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 7:29:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darktra151
Online Play.. is it worth it?

Yes.



DesFIP -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 7:46:32 AM)

As soon as your sub leaves your sight, they could go do what they want and to hell with you. How are you going to prevent that barring keeping them handcuffed to you 24/7?

The biggest sex organ is the brain. If you can't stimulate that, it doesn't matter what you do to a person. If you can, then great.

Plus going by your narrow minded thinking, military personnel should automatically be divorced if they are deployed. Because really, how can they trust their spouse to be loyal and to keep up doing what they agreed would be best for the family?

If you don't like it, then don't do it. But making pronouncements that it can't work for anyone else is really sophomoric.



mummyman321 -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 7:59:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darktra151

Online Play.. is it worth it?


Online play can certianly be a lot of fun. And there is nothing wrong with it. I would venture to guess that most (my personal opion from what I have experienced) people tend to start out online. So if this is something you like, then do not deny yourself.

I cannot say that I enjoy online. In fact I do not do online. But that I think is more due to my experience in the lifestyle. After a while the desire to play becomes more physical and driving in nature. Once experiencing true sub space real time the desire for online completely disappeared for me. Its like tasting the forbidden fruit, once you have had it, nothing else will satisfy your hunger.



LadyPact -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 8:18:27 AM)

To Me, it's not even worth the time.  I'd much rather play at home, at events, or parties.  Ripping off the old coke slogan here.  Ain't nothing like the real thing.



Madame4a -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 8:26:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darktra151

Online Play.. is it worth it? From my experience online play can be a great way to expend some kinky energy. Its purely based in fantasy and that can be both good and bad but is it really worth it.  On one hand you get to be kinky without the hassle of travel and its close to home. But other the one your not there. Everything you have a submissive do , he is doing to himself.  The only pressure he is under is that of a web cam person and the clock on the wall. Its missing that in person interaction which is the best. Also can you really trust what the other says and does.  As soon as soon signs off they could go and do whatever they want.. No matter your agreement is. It happens in real life d/s roles as well but the fact that ur play is online has to make it easier. So what do u think. Is online play really worth the energy? Is it based on the situation the ppl are in?


For me... no.. its a waste of time...



leadership527 -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 8:30:11 AM)

Starting with the trust issue... As Des noted, the same problem exists with Carol who lives with me in a retired state 24x7 in a 650 square foot apartment. Even then she is not in my sight 24/7. God only knows what she gets up to on the way to the grocery store. My answer to that is that you shouldn't be in ANY sort of relationship where you don't trust your partner.

To the "pressure" statement, what pressure is Carol under other than the pressure of my dominant personality on her submissive one? I tell her to do stuff and she does because not doing so would ... well... it's just not done. Why would any online slave I picked act any differently?

To the play thing, I've done online but never considered it "play". The mental/emotional aspects of D/s carry just fine over the wire. If you're into S/m though, that's not going to happen long distance.



IrishMist -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 8:34:53 AM)

quote:

Online Play.. is it worth it?

If the people involved are enjoying themselves, then it sure is.
quote:

Its purely based in fantasy

I disagree. It's only 'based in fantasy' if those involved wish it to be based in fantasy. It can be as real as those involved make it.
quote:

Its missing that in person interaction which is the best

Who says it's the best? Just because you think real time is the best does not mean that everyone else does too.
quote:

Also can you really trust what the other says and does.

Some people can, some people can't. Again, it's only what those involved make it out to be, and that includes 'trust' in the other person.



phoenixmoonn13 -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 10:54:03 AM)

it is worth it i am living with master as a result of an online m/s relationship.

however for it to work well youahve to trust the person you submittted to very deeply and they ahve to trust you as well. the dom ahs to know you have a true submission to him and you have to feel it deeply. once this happens then the dom knows the sub is doing as asked etc. sms is an essential aid here. but yes you cant beat hands on so to speak but not everyone ahs access to rl M/s relatonship..



weird123m -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 2:06:59 PM)

From my own experience I prefer to start online. I think online is a great way to flesh out how well any potential companions would mesh. And once you have a deep trust and commitment it eliminates some of the awkwardness that is a face to face meeting.



LPslittleclip -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 6:03:23 PM)

i started online in tx before i went to my first event. it was good as i have a good imagination. compared to the real play theres no comparison real play is better. as for being deployed being able to go online and chat while in afganistain was a great comfort to me as it was all i could do there.



MistressDarkArt -> RE: Online Play? (1/29/2011 10:48:07 PM)

quote:

Is online play really worth the energy?


In general, not to me. I see online as an adjunct to make initial contact, exchange checklists and face pictures, then it is on to a phone conversation and if that goes well, a meet-n-greet to see if there's in-person chemistry. After a real-time scene, I will use email for follow-up feedback and writing assignments but if my partner can't serve in person often enough to fulfill my hands-on needs, I need a different partner!



DesFIP -> RE: Online Play? (1/30/2011 2:32:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
To Me, it's not even worth the time.  I'd much rather play at home, at events, or parties.  Ripping off the old coke slogan here.  Ain't nothing like the real thing.


So you and clip don't ever play online when he's been deployed?



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