RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (Full Version)

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phoenixmoonn13 -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 12:30:19 AM)

for me i am one who needs love, somone who gives exqusit pain but i am not a masochist i dont think but more a pain slu or thnking about it i may be both . i also crave the tpe but not the very detailed mico-managment. i want to please and to serve . but to be held cuddled and cared for. i love control and domiantion and teh use of mental bondage. so where does that leave me...... happy as i have this in my master. but it doesnt fit into a catorgry i dont think



myotherself -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 12:54:53 AM)

I don't need micromanagement but I do need rules and structure.

I'm not into age play, but every now and then I love to be cuddled and called 'my little girl'.

I'm a pain slut who also gets off on my sadist getting off on my pain.

I love to make him happy by doing things for him - I get a thrill when he tells me to do something because I know I can please him.

Like a lot of people on this thread, I guess I'm a mix of all 3 types - with a little more added [:)]



porcelaine -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 1:26:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i see submissives/slaves falling into 3 major types, there may be more

am I missing any?


Greetings osf,

I appreciate structure and enjoy protocol immensely. I function best with an owner that places a heavy emphasis on reconstruction through physical and psychological conditioning. I prefer a multidimensional framework that is obedience driven and cultivates a tiered approach to service that goes beyond the dynamic. Synergy is an important concept as is the spiritual undertone of the relationship. I view sadism as catharsis and see masochism as its natural complement.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



osf -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 5:49:22 AM)

I never meant that any one be exclusionary to the others, but there is most usually that one thing that is needed a priori to anything else that if it is not there then nothing else matters



MaxsGirl -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 6:45:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

I never meant that any one be exclusionary to the others, but there is most usually that one thing that is needed a priori to anything else that if it is not there then nothing else matters


Given this clarification, there is a fourth kind: the sub who doesn't need strictness or kink (however much s/he might want or enjoy it) but submits out of love, and will do anything to make her owner happy just because she wants to see him happy.

I suspect you sub to Ms. Goose in this way. [;)]



0ldhen -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 6:52:21 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MaxsGirl

Given this clarification, there is a fourth kind: the sub who doesn't need strictness or kink (however much s/he might want or enjoy it) but submits out of love, and will do anything to make her owner happy just because she wants to see him happy.



BINGO! I think there are quite a few of this type around as well.



osf -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 7:11:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MaxsGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

I never meant that any one be exclusionary to the others, but there is most usually that one thing that is needed a priori to anything else that if it is not there then nothing else matters


Given this clarification, there is a fourth kind: the sub who doesn't need strictness or kink (however much s/he might want or enjoy it) but submits out of love, and will do anything to make her owner happy just because she wants to see him happy.

I suspect you sub to Ms. Goose in this way. [;)]



I think that sort of falls under my 3rd classification as it's not about her needs except for the the need of structure/love as she sees it

could you love a non-kinky/vanilla man as well, or would feel something lacking?



MaxsGirl -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 7:24:40 AM)

I can love a non-kinky man, but not a non-dominant one.  Even if he's not technically a d-type, I can't fall for someone who isn't above me.  That's not to say I haven't been in relationships with non-dominant men, but they have pretty much been relationships in name only, without much feeling on either side.

Edit:  You say that the fourth type is the same as the third, but I disagree.  The fourth type needs dominance, but not structure.  In the early days of my relationship with Alpha there was no structure.  We were just dating, basically a vanilla couple outside of the bedroom.  But he was still dominant over me, because he's just an alpha male, and it was our natural interaction.  I worked to please him then not because he asked it of me, but because it just felt natural and right to do so.



osf -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 7:32:07 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MaxsGirl

I can love a non-kinky man, but not a non-dominant one.  Even if he's not technically a d-type, I can't fall for someone who isn't above me.  That's not to say I haven't been in relationships with non-dominant men, but they have pretty much been relationships in name only, without much feeling on either side.

Edit:  You say that the fourth type is the same as the third, but I disagree.  The fourth type needs dominance, but not structure.  In the early days of my relationship with Alpha there was no structure.  We were just dating, basically a vanilla couple outside of the bedroom.  But he was still dominant over me, because he's just an alpha male, and it was our natural interaction.  I worked to please him then not because he asked it of me, but because it just felt natural and right to do so.



I don't understand dominance without wanting to impose structure

I'll hazard a guess that if he is dominant he was working on imposing structure



MaxsGirl -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 7:36:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

I don't understand dominance without wanting to impose structure

I'll hazard a guess that if he is dominant he was working on imposing structure


Possibly.  I can't say that he wasn't wanting to impose structure (it's not my place to questions what's going on in his head) just that he didn't do it at that point.  We had known each other for a good eight months and been involved for a few of those before the structure came.  But I was submissive to him almost from the start, because it would have felt unnatural to do anything else.  I started working to discover what pleased him and make it happen from the first time we met, even while I was involved with someone else.  The structure we have now was never negotiated and is rarely even spoken of, it just fell into place (and continues to as we get to know each other better).



osf -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 7:43:00 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MaxsGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

I don't understand dominance without wanting to impose structure

I'll hazard a guess that if he is dominant he was working on imposing structure


Possibly.  I can't say that he wasn't wanting to impose structure (it's not my place to questions what's going on in his head) just that he didn't do it at that point.  We had known each other for a good eight months and been involved for a few of those before the structure came.  But I was submissive to him almost from the start, because it would have felt unnatural to do anything else.  I started working to discover what pleased him and make it happen from the first time we met, even while I was involved with someone else.  The structure we have now was never negotiated and is rarely even spoken of, it just fell into place (and continues to as we get to know each other better).


then you both were looking for a structure that worked



txurinal -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 7:52:55 AM)

i like rules and structure. very service oriented with a great desire to please



MaxsGirl -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 7:59:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


then you both were looking for a structure that worked



Yes, but it wasn't there at the beginning.  It is possible to be D/s without a formal D/s structure.  Maybe not in the long term, but definitely short term.  There's a poster here (I forget his screen name, but his wife's name is Carol) who doesn't seem to have any formalized structure in his relationship.  He makes the decisions, and his wife carries them out.  That is how Alpha and I started as well, and how we mostly function now.  There is little need for structure or protocol because I just do what he says, and that's that.



osf -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 8:03:19 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MaxsGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


then you both were looking for a structure that worked



Yes, but it wasn't there at the beginning.  It is possible to be D/s without a formal D/s structure.  Maybe not in the long term, but definitely short term.  There's a poster here (I forget his screen name, but his wife's name is Carol) who doesn't seem to have any formalized structure in his relationship.  He makes the decisions, and his wife carries them out.  That is how Alpha and I started as well, and how we mostly function now.  There is little need for structure or protocol because I just do what he says, and that's that.



but, but doing as your told is the biggest protocol of all, lol



SourandSweet -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 8:27:53 AM)

None and all of the above.

I'm not a masochist, but sometimes I miss it if he doesn't hurt me for a while.

Sometimes I love it when he wakes me to make his morning coffee.  Sometimes I hate it and wish he'd make his own!

Sometimes I love it when he calls me his baby (not I hasten to add in an age-play way, just as a term of affection) and is protective and loving and attentive.  Sometimes I just want my space.

Sometimes I love it when he goes he 'lays down the law'.  Sometimes it frustrates the hell out of me!

I'm just a sub, with varying moods.  I don't think it's as easy as defining 'types'.

:-)



0ldhen -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 8:55:42 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


I don't understand dominance without wanting to impose structure

I'll hazard a guess that if he is dominant he was working on imposing structure


Not all dominants or submissives want or need structure. If you do that is fine.

But often there are other factors involved like how/where you live, are there ums in the house, etc.

I knew how he expected me to behave as well as what needed doing and he had absolute faith that I'd adhere to the first and handle the second. Having a set structure or set of rules I had to follow would have interfered with the smooth operation of our household.






osf -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 9:08:45 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: 0ldhen


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


I don't understand dominance without wanting to impose structure

I'll hazard a guess that if he is dominant he was working on imposing structure


Not all dominants or submissives want or need structure. If you do that is fine.

But often there are other factors involved like how/where you live, are there ums in the house, etc.

I knew how he expected me to behave as well as what needed doing and he had absolute faith that I'd adhere to the first and handle the second. Having a set structure or set of rules I had to follow would have interfered with the smooth operation of our household.







structure = discipline


structure isn't always apparent to others

I don't see why there are those that don't seem to understand all relationships have structure

My relationship with Miss Cillie Goos has structure that we have worked out where there expectations we both have though hers is mostly getting grapes, food and water



TotalDiscipline -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 9:11:44 AM)

quote:

structure = discipline


discipline is a way to maintain a structure
I guess there are more ways



osf -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 9:14:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TotalDiscipline

quote:

structure = discipline


discipline is a way to maintain a structure
I guess there are more ways




you confuse discipline with punishment

discipline, training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline.



0ldhen -> RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you (1/30/2011 9:50:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: 0ldhen

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

I don't understand dominance without wanting to impose structure

I'll hazard a guess that if he is dominant he was working on imposing structure


Not all dominants or submissives want or need structure. If you do that is fine.

But often there are other factors involved like how/where you live, are there ums in the house, etc.

I knew how he expected me to behave as well as what needed doing and he had absolute faith that I'd adhere to the first and handle the second. Having a set structure or set of rules I had to follow would have interfered with the smooth operation of our household.



structure = discipline
structure isn't always apparent to others

I don't see why there are those that don't seem to understand all relationships have structure
My relationship with Miss Cillie Goos has structure that we have worked out where there expectations we both have though hers is mostly getting grapes, food and water


Structure does not equal discipline, military or otherwise, for everyone.

Not to mention we did not practice discipline or punishment in any form.

Not all relationships have a set structure, often those involved prefer to go with the flow.

While I do understand those who enjoy a structured relationship or enjoy or need to incorporate discipline in such, it was simply not for us.

I did what i did because I knew it would please him, because I loved him, not because those were the rules or I might be punished. No training required.

If whipped me you can bet it was because we were both getting off on it, period.




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