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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 3:57:55 PM   
TotallyDude


Posts: 184
Joined: 1/30/2011
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quote:

'men' who think it's ok to use words like pussy in a pejorative sense [I'll wait while you look it up; I'll just hum Jeopardy music], b*tch or c*nt, like the New Jersey dudes you probably honour and obey, don't like women.


Hmm. I'm curious, do you genuinely consider "pussy" as bad as the b or the c word or are you trying to score points here (on the internet!)?Most of my friends tend to be okay with "pussy" (and even use it themselves pejoratively) but they tend to be 3rd wave feminists who really dig that post-structuralist jive and you may see things differently.


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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 3:59:12 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: StuntmanMike
And yet here you are, "defending your boy" despite your own admission that he's not in this thread. So which is it? Are you here sticking up for your absent boy, or are you here admitting that he's a pussy? I'm genuinely curious now.

You're so "unconcerned" about what people whine about on the internet, that you just had to come into this thread and defend your boy who was *not* already in here, because you don't like someone on the internet attacking him?


Since you can't seem to understand this, I'll make it very simple for you.

No.  My boy is absolutely not a pussy and I would tell you that about him whether he was My boy or not.  The man happens to be a four time war vet, a great father, and a very strong human being. 

My reference to the online thing was the chat room bullshit that you brought up.  Why the hell anyone would waste their time doing it with their submissive is beyond My comprehension.  Spending time in a chat room rather than putting the time and effort into more interesting pursuits isn't My way of doing things.  Being a sadist, I can think of much better things to do with the time I have with My submissive.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:03:13 PM   
DarkSteven


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

So, there are two new self-important assholes on the boards? Great.


And all of us old self-important assholes are suddenly yesterday's news. 


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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:06:11 PM   
TotallyDude


Posts: 184
Joined: 1/30/2011
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quote:

Dude, not trying to derail your thread here, but there is some bigotry, in a sense.  Granted, it's not to the same extremes.  Still, I can absolutely say that I've seen it.


That literally made me giggle out loud because I appreciate the personality type that would wade into this carnage and start trying to reassemble something into some semblance of coherence. I genuinely appreciate that You're still focused enough so late in the game to try to stay "on topic." :)

quote:

I don't want to particularly assign it to one particular side of the kneel over the other, either.  It's something that I have noticed in rare cases, but it happens.  I'm not even particularly happy in stating that I see it in males, as I'm sure it happens in females as well.

There are some cases where there are individuals that have such bitterness and resentment against a particular demographic (i.e. owned sub males) because those persons have what they can't obtain for themselves.  That does get turned into a bigotry, in a sense, that is projected outward, rather than looking inward.  In some rare instances, Dominant men do this when they have an inner desire to submit, but don't have the courage or opportunity to do so.  Some submissives do it to other submissives because they feel 'cheated' that a certain submissive may have a dynamic with a Dominant woman that they had wanted for themselves.

I am not saying that this was the basis for your thread.  I did think it might be something that would be interesting for the discussion.


What You're describing sounds like ressentiment, which Wikipedia (good for quick and dirty definitions if nothing else) defines as "Ressentiment is a sense of hostility directed at that which one identifies as the cause of one's frustration, that is, an assignment of blame for one's frustration. The sense of weakness or inferiority and perhaps jealousy in the face of the "cause" generates a rejecting/justifying value system, or morality, which attacks or denies the perceived source of one's frustration. The ego creates an enemy in order to insulate itself from culpability."

I agree this is something we see pretty frequently, where a person (unconsciously) bases their entire persona and moral framework on a resentment so deep seated they may not even be able to admit they have it. It's interesting that You bring up Doms who have a secret yearning to submit...is that really common? I wonder how often that also happens with Dommes....

< Message edited by TotallyDude -- 1/30/2011 4:07:13 PM >


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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:11:03 PM   
StuntmanMike


Posts: 66
Joined: 4/10/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Since you can't seem to understand this, I'll make it very simple for you.

No.  My boy is absolutely not a pussy and I would tell you that about him whether he was My boy or not.  The man happens to be a four time war vet, a great father, and a very strong human being. 

My reference to the online thing was the chat room bullshit that you brought up.  Why the hell anyone would waste their time doing it with their submissive is beyond My comprehension.  Spending time in a chat room rather than putting the time and effort into more interesting pursuits isn't My way of doing things.  Being a sadist, I can think of much better things to do with the time I have with My submissive.


So, you admit that your are here needlessly then? You come here to defend someone who, by your statements, does not need defending. Yet here you are just the same. And by the way, the internet bullshit I was talking about includes message boards.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:12:22 PM   
thishereboi


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quote:

Thoughts?


Yea, are you this obnoxious in real life or do you save it for online interactions only?


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Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:13:10 PM   
TotallyDude


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Joined: 1/30/2011
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quote:

Yea, are you this obnoxious in real life or do you save it for online interactions only?


I'm actually trying to dial it down a bit since I'm new here. I usually wait a week or so to really let it all hang out.

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Fortune and glory, kid, fortune and glory.

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Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:14:03 PM   
thishereboi


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Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

Plus I'm not whining at all. Lame dudes like that make the cream rise to the top even faster.


Ok, I get it now. You are trying to make the other boys on here look better. Carry on, by all means.


Who has cookies?


_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


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Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:16:01 PM   
TotallyDude


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Joined: 1/30/2011
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quote:

Ok, I get it now. You are trying to make the other boys on here look better. Carry on, by all means.


So glib. So facile. We might become friends, dude. :D

_____________________________

The Dude abides.

Fortune and glory, kid, fortune and glory.

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Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:16:27 PM   
StuntmanMike


Posts: 66
Joined: 4/10/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
So, there are two new self-important assholes on the boards? Great.


New? No. Asshole? Yes. Self-important? I don't think I can compare on that front with the "collarme clique" that is so prevalent around here, nor would I want to.

You see, you use the asshole moniker (and even kick in the troll one for good measure) because I'm not part of, nor would I want to be part of, the collarme clique. Look at the boards. It's the same people repeating over and over and over. This is like the internet version of "Mean Girls." Anyone who goes against the norm, anyone who doesn't stroke the ego of the collarme clique is a troll, or cast aside. Well, I'm fine with that, because I've seen and talked with many in the collarme clique and have little to no use for them.

As a matter of fact, during this whole thread, I was talking with a friend of mine and we were talking about how we never hang out much on message boards. I told her (yes her...I know that shocks your image of me) that I don't come around here unless it's to ruffle the features of the "self-important" collarme clique.

Having done that in spades, there's no reason for me not to head out and get my dinner.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:18:16 PM   
TotallyDude


Posts: 184
Joined: 1/30/2011
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quote:

Having done that in spades, there's no reason for me not to head out and get my dinner.


Peace out, bro. Keep it real :)

_____________________________

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Fortune and glory, kid, fortune and glory.

(in reply to StuntmanMike)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:20:06 PM   
StuntmanMike


Posts: 66
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TotallyDude

quote:

Having done that in spades, there's no reason for me not to head out and get my dinner.


Peace out, bro. Keep it real :)


Are we talking 'real' real, or 'internet' real? (Couldn't resist.)

(in reply to TotallyDude)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:34:33 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TotallyDude
That literally made me giggle out loud because I appreciate the personality type that would wade into this carnage and start trying to reassemble something into some semblance of coherence. I genuinely appreciate that You're still focused enough so late in the game to try to stay "on topic." :)

I'll do it every once in a while when something interests Me.  Don't expect it as a constant.  There are threads that I can't stay on topic at all because I'm in more of a silly mood.

quote:

What You're describing sounds like ressentiment, which Wikipedia (good for quick and dirty definitions if nothing else) defines as "Ressentiment is a sense of hostility directed at that which one identifies as the cause of one's frustration, that is, an assignment of blame for one's frustration. The sense of weakness or inferiority and perhaps jealousy in the face of the "cause" generates a rejecting/justifying value system, or morality, which attacks or denies the perceived source of one's frustration. The ego creates an enemy in order to insulate itself from culpability."

I agree this is something we see pretty frequently, where a person (unconsciously) bases their entire persona and moral framework on a resentment so deep seated they may not even be able to admit they have it.

I hate to split your paragraph in such a way, but I don't want the statements to be confused.

How frequently we see it may be up to personal interpretation.  For example, we used to see it directed at clip more when I first was considering him more than now.  As time goes on, it happens less.  Every now and then there will be a stray notice of it.

Years ago, I was sitting with another member of these boards at a club in Atlanta and we were discussing this very issue.  Frankly, she is a stunningly beautiful woman who also happens to be a pro.  When she first became involved with the man who is her submissive now, the phenomenon was the same.  He literally got hate mail.  We weren't alone in this, either. 

quote:

It's interesting that You bring up Doms who have a secret yearning to submit...is that really common? I wonder how often that also happens with Dommes....

I wouldn't want to say how common this is, either.  I don't think there is a female Dominant here who doesn't get approached by males who are 'mostly Dom' who want to submit.  It's not just internet noise.  It happens to Me in real life.  The guys who want to bottom, but can't do it at the club because they feel that others would view them as "weak".  They see it as screwing up the image that they are trying to portray.  I do think that males believe there is a greater stigma in being labeled a switch than females.

I lean toward thinking it doesn't happen as often for Dominant women because it works the other way around for us.  Usually, we figure out in the first year or so that we are best being ourselves, rather than the stereotype that we're expected to be.  I happen to play with both genders (S/m sense) and Dominant women will bottom in public to Me more freely than their male counterparts.  It doesn't happen every day, but it happens often enough.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to TotallyDude)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:36:19 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TotallyDude

That literally made me giggle out loud


I hear that guys who giggle out loud and admit to it are pussies. *shrug*


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Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


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Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:43:26 PM   
Chulain


Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TotallyDude
Thoughts?

Yes: make your trolling a little more subtle next time.

(in reply to TotallyDude)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:44:43 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StuntmanMike
New? No. Asshole? Yes. Self-important? I don't think I can compare on that front with the "collarme clique" that is so prevalent around here, nor would I want to.

You see, you use the asshole moniker (and even kick in the troll one for good measure) because I'm not part of, nor would I want to be part of, the collarme clique. Look at the boards. It's the same people repeating over and over and over. This is like the internet version of "Mean Girls." Anyone who goes against the norm, anyone who doesn't stroke the ego of the collarme clique is a troll, or cast aside. Well, I'm fine with that, because I've seen and talked with many in the collarme clique and have little to no use for them.

As a matter of fact, during this whole thread, I was talking with a friend of mine and we were talking about how we never hang out much on message boards. I told her (yes her...I know that shocks your image of me) that I don't come around here unless it's to ruffle the features of the "self-important" collarme clique.

Having done that in spades, there's no reason for me not to head out and get my dinner.


Yes, it's always about the clique and the imaginary powers that folks think they have.

I do hope that you and your submissive have a wonderful dinner.  Please give the girl collared to you My best.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to StuntmanMike)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:45:10 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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My appreciation of the "hide" key is great!

(Am I in the clique? Who else is?)

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Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:45:39 PM   
TotallyDude


Posts: 184
Joined: 1/30/2011
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quote:

How frequently we see it may be up to personal interpretation.  For example, we used to see it directed at clip more when I first was considering him more than now.  As time goes on, it happens less.  Every now and then there will be a stray notice of it.

Years ago, I was sitting with another member of these boards at a club in Atlanta and we were discussing this very issue.  Frankly, she is a stunningly beautiful woman who also happens to be a pro.  When she first became involved with the man who is her submissive now, the phenomenon was the same.  He literally got hate mail.  We weren't alone in this, either. 


That's interesting. There is such a high level of frustration among (many) male subbies and such a feeling of urgency and desperation that it's easy to picture this sort of thing happening. In my experience there are so few highly desirable, eligible Dominant women available at any given time in a given area that subbie dudes can become quite emotional. I do wonder what percentage of the guys who get so upset at these situations have been the guys who have put themselves out there and made their best effort to be considered and what percentage were guys who just sat bitterly on the sidelines and got even more bitter when they saw another guy moving into a happy and rewarding dynamic. My guess is that the second group (the group I would consider pussies) is far greater than the first simply because dudes who are willing to put themselves out there know in their hearts that someday they will end up where they belong.

_____________________________

The Dude abides.

Fortune and glory, kid, fortune and glory.

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Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:47:35 PM   
TotallyDude


Posts: 184
Joined: 1/30/2011
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quote:

I hear that guys who giggle out loud and admit to it are pussies. *shrug*


LOL

I giggle. I have basically memorized The Princess Bride. I sometimes rock a pink shirt. I'm a man of contradictions.

_____________________________

The Dude abides.

Fortune and glory, kid, fortune and glory.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:48:24 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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Hibbie, I only posted once and didn't read the thread but saw that there is mention of an uber-type clique and "Mean Girls." I think we could qualify for both since we have met in person and played, and we proclaim our meanness in our sig lines. (And I was aware of your "meanness" and being "not sorry" last May) Just sayin...

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 100
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