RE: Question for the ladies, from a scared tranny..

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RE: Question for the ladies, from a scared tranny.. - 2/3/2011 2:21:15 PM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

The responsibility for an assault is the assailant's.

We disagree.

The responsibility for an assault is on the assailant *and* on the victim *if* they put themselves in a dangerous position.

quote:

That point I was objecting to was implying that she had it coming because she chose to walk ("Oh, you got raped? Too bad, you shouldn't have walked home.")

Well there's some truth to that. If you don't walk alone these things are much less likely to happen, and it's not up to anybody but you whether or not you walk alone. I'm sorry if being so matter-of-fact offends you, but that's the actual reality of the situation.

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RE: Question for the ladies, from a scared tranny.. - 2/3/2011 5:10:50 PM

hausboy

Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
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I guess I agree with both sides of the argument.....don't blame the victim, but don't make it easy for the assailant, either...

Sidebar story:
The first scare I ever truly had, I was 19. I wore a denim cutoff vest with heavy metal patches, studs etc., chains, boots, jeans, tee--and I had long heavy metal hair...you get the picture...I was walking in daylight back from the record store and a car pulled up alongside me (as they often did) and yelled "Hey...are you a boy or a girl??!!" (as they often did). And...as *I*often did, I flipped them the bird, said "fuck you" and continued on my way. Unlike all those previous times, they did a u-turn at the end of the parking lot, threw the car in park, and two rather big guys charged out of their car, full throttle, right at me.

I knew it was one fight I wasn't going to win....swallowed my pride and ran as fast as I could. Across the lot, up a small embankment, across a second lot and decided that running into traffic and taking those chances would be better than what was going to happen to me if they caught up. I saw a group of people, including a woman pushing a stroller across the street, standing near a phone booth (remember those?). I remember the tires screeching...and I went up slightly on the hood of the car as it stopped, rolled off ... still screaming "call the police call the police".

When the mother w/stroller grabbed the phone in the booth, my would-be attackers backed off, got back in their car. Now a small group gathered because of the scene this all caused--I vividly remember one grabbing her child and clutching the kid close to her, they were clearly scared of me, unaware of what was chasing me. I bolted the rest of the way home, as a small group of teenage boys jeered at me as I ran past. I didn't bother to stop and flip them off too....

It shattered my little bubble that I had been living in---that world in my head where nothing bad would ever happen to me--and I made a promise to myself. I wasn't going to compromise and change my looks--but I wasn't going to go to certain places alone ever again. I wasn't going to do things to provoke my attackers (my appearance was enough...) and I wasn't going to ever let my guard down again.

That day was my warning shot, and it prepared me for a lot worse in the days/years to come. Having that awareness of the streets, and the dangers on them, I truly believe saved my life as I no longer had a false sense of security. Violet received a warning shot of what is out there. To me, it's only her fault if she decides to ignore what happened and not learn from it.

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RE: Question for the ladies, from a scared tranny.. - 3/25/2011 5:26:59 AM

krissykat

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Joined: 3/15/2011
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Girl I live in Baltimore too and it is no place to be walking alone at night. I have had similar experiences and had to learn fast that to be percived as a woman also means to be percieved as weaker. Simply put "it is very dangerous for women to travel on foot alone at night". As transexual women we must be even more careful because we are vulnerable to sex crimes and hate crimes. The best protectoin is avoidance. Spend the extra money to catch a cab or call a friend.

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RE: Question for the ladies, from a scared tranny.. - 3/25/2011 6:29:45 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
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it does happen all the time unfortunately. i once walked home alone one night after being out in town with friends and had a guy in a red bmw follow me home. i spotted him as i crossed a road and the area meant it was very easy for him to drive down one road and come back to where i was. i walked as fast as i could but made a note of his licence plate. my house was on a dual carriage way which meant that once there he had to go in the oposite dirrection to where i lived. once he'd done that i ran home and called the police and reported him. i never heard anything back and i never saw him again, but afterwards one of the guys in my group of friends would walk me home, or i'd meet up with a neighbour and walk with him.

as others have said, i would not have looked at you and thought anything other than i was looking at a woman. so unfortunately you will have to take care of yourself as such and possibly travel by cab or walk with others. it's crappy that it is that way, the fact that it shouldn't be doesn't make it any different for us.

needles

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Post #: 44