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RE: Humiliation - 2/18/2011 10:52:37 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Call one person a slut and they are embarrassed
Call another person a slut and they are complimented

I define it by the recipients’ areas of sensitivity and their reaction. Everyone is so different, you have to tailor what you do specifically for them.


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RE: Humiliation - 2/18/2011 3:24:45 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gordon2011

what is humiliation and what isn't (and therefore abuse or something close to it)... how do you define it?



Easy enough... a D-type knowing their s-type well enough to determine what's humiliating/abusive, and what's not.



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RE: Humiliation - 2/18/2011 9:10:11 PM   
Nanako


Posts: 222
Joined: 2/7/2011
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline 		I would say it's a rather broad question that I'm too tired to think about just now. I would define humiliation as whatever my dominant deems it to be

(in reply to mwdsub4u)
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RE: Humiliation - 2/19/2011 4:55:40 PM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		I would define humil as an act or cognitive thought which causes me to feel shame

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RE: Humiliation - 2/19/2011 8:12:01 PM   
Nanako


Posts: 222
Joined: 2/7/2011
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: coookie

I would define humil as an act or cognitive thought which causes me to feel shame


I would agree in principle
But I believe there comes a certain point in maturity (which not everyone will ever reach) beyond which it becomes impossible to be ashamed by anything except your own deliberate wrongdoings.

If I robbed my own grandmother, I would be ashamed to look her in the eye. But If someone stripped me naked in a crowd... I think it just doesn't compare. It would be humiliating certainly, but I don't think the human body is something to be ashamed of, nor is promiscuous sexuality. I think I can only be ashamed for wilfully doing things that I think are wrong, not for anything that is done to me.

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RE: Humiliation - 2/20/2011 5:28:10 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		There's humiliation of the good kind and humiliation of the not so good kind. As long as the one that gets applied to ME is the good kind, then it's a *together* thing. If it's the not so good kind .......it's devisive and neither of us would want that.

It doesn't matter what the activity or circumstance is , even though we flirt with the extreme end of the spectrum....it has to leave us both *together*.

It depends who's doing it, and why, frankly.

agirl





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RE: Humiliation - 3/2/2011 10:41:58 PM   
Herbabygirl


Posts: 21
Joined: 11/16/2006
Status: offline 		I, personally am not really into humiliation. I do however see it as a power tactic for doms and masters/mistresses. It shows their dominance over their slave/sub in the sense that the slave/sub is required to do what they do ask even if it completely embarrassing.

(in reply to mwdsub4u)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Humiliation - 3/5/2011 1:46:20 PM   
depravedslave


Posts: 6
Joined: 2/14/2005
Status: offline 		Humiliation, in my opinion, has to arise organically from the situation.

Submission is inherently humiliating, and so are several sexual acts. I will say, though, that the one kind of degradation that can really cause trouble is anything that implies an inability to gratify one's Owner.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Humiliation - 3/7/2011 2:31:55 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mwdsub4u
Humiliation, can be a lot of elements for people, there is no set answer for this question, its what humilates you, being used as a dog, lead on a leash in public...

sheez, and here I was thinking we didn't do "humiliation" in our marriage and then you mention this. She was certainly pretty embarrassed... perhaps even humiliated when I did it. But my goal wasn't those mental states so I didn't think of it as "humiliation play". The fact that she was humiliated wasn't the point and so wasn't an element of concern to me.


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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: Humiliation - 3/7/2011 2:57:53 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

There's humiliation of the good kind and humiliation of the not so good kind. As long as the one that gets applied to ME is the good kind, then it's a *together* thing. If it's the not so good kind .......it's devisive and neither of us would want that.

It doesn't matter what the activity or circumstance is , even though we flirt with the extreme end of the spectrum....it has to leave us both *together*.

It depends who's doing it, and why, frankly.


This. Well stated.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


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RE: Humiliation - 3/7/2011 9:40:19 PM   
Jennislut


Posts: 234
Joined: 2/24/2011
Status: offline 		i was going to say that when i first started out i enjoyed humiliation - being called filthy whore, slut and such - but that it quickly stopped being humiliating because i agreed with the assessment. however having read over the thread i now realize that there is so much more to humiliation and humiliation play. this is something i will have to explore further.

learning stuff like this is why i already love this place


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RE: Humiliation - 3/8/2011 10:47:38 AM   
81song


Posts: 293
Joined: 1/22/2005
Status: offline 		I would call humiliation for me is but a door to go through my fears. And in that breaking down of my fears I am open to a whole another room. You might even call it a phoenix in a way, the burning down of ones fear to build up ones being

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Humiliation - 3/13/2011 8:45:13 AM   
txurinal


Posts: 209
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		i have had things done to me and have been ordered to do things publicly which i think were supposed to humilate me. But i guess as someone who sees themself as a submissive, subservient being, i cannot say i have ever really been what i would say was humiliated

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Humiliation - 3/22/2011 10:26:30 AM   
mynameispez


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/11/2011
Status: offline 		ok so i didnt go though and read everyones comments...but imma put m 2 cents in anyways...i consider myself a 'mental masochist' a spank in the face doesnt do as much for me as a spank in the face and calling me a pig...
i think the biggest difference in everyones humiliation play is their 'mental' pain tolerance...and that goes into looong discussions with the Dom and sub...some subs will cr if you call them fat...others wont...some will be humiliated of you pee on them...some will get horny...there is no clean cut answer to what is considered humiliation...or what is too much or abuse...
for me...there are every few things that would humiliate me...Daddy and my play falls under more of degradation not humiliation...

(in reply to mwdsub4u)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Humiliation - 3/22/2011 2:07:10 PM   
simonsezwhat


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/19/2011
Status: offline 		To me it can have two meanings, humbling or degrading, with only degradation being abusive. Being humbled is hard when you already are humble. Being degraded in the sense I mean it means being treated with contempt. That's the fun stuff. Merely being addressed and regarded as humble and lowly is sort of the point of being submissive, in a way. Pride and subservience don't go together. Being degraded contemptuously involves abusive treatment beyond subordination. In psychological terms it is like being punished physically. It should hurt your feelings. Having someone intentionally hurt your feelings can be a big turn on, and especially if they know you well enough to know what really hurts. Someone should be naked at the time for the best effect.

(in reply to gordon2011)
Profile   Post #: 35
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