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RE: Building Confidence - 2/3/2011 11:09:58 PM

SexyBossyBBW

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You've gotten a lot of great responses. I don't lack confidence, but shyness, I still have plenty of. I'm not shy in familiar surroundings, just with strangers. So, what helped me, like what nocturnal suggested, was move away from the safety of always having family to go out with, and forced myself to go out alone, and eventually it became comfortable, to go just about anywhere.

Unfortunately, I did move back to be close to the most important people in my life, and have lost some of that "I'm going, going to have fun, and don't care what anyone else thinks of me" attitude. Another thing I learned, is not to take self too seriously, and realize that being imperfect is perfectly normal. M

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RE: Building Confidence - 2/3/2011 11:22:28 PM

GreedyTop

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Two quotes popped immediately to mind, OP, which I try to apply to myself to overcome my shyness/self confidence issues (and they've done wonders! not 100%..I think anyone who has mostly overcome these things STILL have bouts of it from time to time):

"Don't dream it, be it" (Rocky Horror)

Fake it 'til ya make it (AA, I think)

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RE: Building Confidence - 2/4/2011 2:43:18 AM

CherryNeko

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Chubbysubbyguy,
You don't need friends. You were born alone, and have to move through life alone, and will die guess how. On your own. You do not need friends. Society tells you that yes, you do need them for whatever purpose you may think of but guess what, it's just pressure. Haven't you met sufficiently awesome people already? Don't they come by themselves? Don't they become friends before ANYONE realizes? Why then would you have to look for friends? It's stressing! I'm such a nervous person and I won't try to make friends again, because it's just pressure, and more pressure, higher and higher blood pressure or I don't know what kind, that will finally explode. OR implode. No, I don't advice you to try to make friends with people. Don't expect to make friends, is my advice. Friends are so special that they come alone. Your heart is the most precious and valuable thing you have, and you shouldn't open it lightly. You should take care of it, protect it like the treasure it is. Don't force anything, and don't talk if you're not comfortable. Abandon that hope that you'll probably make friends with this or that person, because it just makes you nervous.
Then, when you're not nervous, when you owe nothing, no kind of conversation or even forced greeting to absolutely no one, then you'll relax. And believe me, it works. Hell, if it worked for me.

< Message edited by CherryNeko -- 2/4/2011 2:44:44 AM >

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RE: Building Confidence - 2/4/2011 3:21:56 AM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee
I decided that who I wanted to be and what I thought of myself was much more important that what complete strangers thought of me or what type of person they wanted to impose on me.

I had to chose to be self-determining, to be the author of my own life. To decide what I wanted to do, what my goals were, and how I was going to accomplish them.

To sum it up easily, you must stop being a bystander in your own life.

What she said

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