RE: bi or not bi? (Full Version)

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LPslittleclip -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/3/2011 8:51:29 PM)

as the op said i am not atracted to males but i will do so if my Mistress tells me to as it will please her. also as my Mistress said there was a very long and intensly discused thread on orientation so a search would help. i identify as a straight male that will do as my Mistress commands and call it done



Iholdthestrings -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/4/2011 7:05:18 AM)

A question for the OP:

when you fantasize about these things, and masturbate to those fantasies, is your Mistress present in the fantasy? Is it arousing to you because of the sexual component, or because of the "pleasing her" component?

I'm with the others who say that only you can define yourself, but it's still food for thought.

edit to add: I've been happily married to a man for 15+ years, but I still think of myself as a lesbian most days because women are what gets me hot.



nick51068 -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/4/2011 10:21:51 AM)

In regards to why it is important to me: it isn’t really, I was just filling out my profile and I initially put down straight but thought about it in more detail and was wondering what other people thought about it.
In regards to serving a man sexually to only please a Mistress, that is how it originated. But now I fantasize about it without a Mistress being present. With me being a Master’s slave and not a Mistress’s slave. Again I do not want to have vanilla sex with a man or enter into a long term relationship with a man, but serving as his “bitch” 1-2 times a month would be hot.



LadyPact -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/4/2011 1:33:35 PM)

That to Me might be a bit more than 'situationally' bi.  The reason that I say that is you're still saying that you would serve a man sexually as long as you didn't consider the sex non-kinky.  It's still something that *you* desire, rather than just obeying out of what your owner wants you to do.  What if the guy's version of kinky is just turning the lights off, not saying a word, and having sex?  



nick51068 -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/4/2011 1:48:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

That to Me might be a bit more than 'situationally' bi.  The reason that I say that is you're still saying that you would serve a man sexually as long as you didn't consider the sex non-kinky.  It's still something that *you* desire, rather than just obeying out of what your owner wants you to do.  What if the guy's version of kinky is just turning the lights off, not saying a word, and having sex?  


"turning the lights off, not saying a word, and having sex" with a man is not something that i would want to do unless it was in a situation where it was understood that i would do what ever he wants. 

So if it was like making love like i have done  with a women i would say that no it is not a turn on.

However, if it was understood that i do whatever he wants and what he wanted was to turn off the lights have me get on the bed and either fuck my ass or mouth with me not having a choice as to what he did then it would be hot.



chubbysubbyguy -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/4/2011 3:33:06 PM)

making love or a kink either way sounds like fun, but then i identified as bi a while back since I had to choose a label for the dating sites vanilla and otherwise.



nick51068 -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/4/2011 3:37:32 PM)

Well after thinking about it i guess i an streight wen it comes to vanilla sex and bi when it comes to S&M if that makes any sense.



Sylverdawn -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/4/2011 6:24:36 PM)

Ever heard of the Kinsey Scale?  "The Kinsey scale attempts to describe a person's sexual history or episodes of their sexual activity at a given time. It uses a scale from 0, meaning exclusively heterosexual, to 6, meaning exclusively homosexual."



Rating
Description

0
Exclusively heterosexual

1
Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual

2
Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual

3
Equally heterosexual and homosexual.

4
Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual

5
Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual

6
Exclusively homosexual

X
Asexual, Non-Sexual

I hope that helps.. appears that your perfectly normal... and a 1 on the scale... enjoy



ElanSubdued -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/5/2011 11:28:53 AM)

Lady Pact,

quote:

(Sorry for the double post, but I couldn't let that one pass.)


Go over to the "Ultimate submission desire" thread and You can let anything "pass".  Really.  Truly.

e.



Dnomyar -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/8/2011 5:25:07 AM)

OP lets cut thru all of the BS here. Your BI. Plain and simple. Deal with it.



gauguin -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/8/2011 9:32:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

OP lets cut thru all of the BS here. Your BI. Plain and simple. Deal with it.


That is BS! :-)
He is not interested in vanilla sex, neither in relation with other male.

However, as it appears the main OP concern was what he should put on his profile, I would then use different classification - ability to have physical (sexual) contact with given gender.

I use "bi" or "heteroflexible" if it is available on my profile, because I can play with other males and I am actively looking for couples. Moreover, I even occasionally play with single Doms, when I cannot find any female or couple for long enough. But still I have no doubts that I am hetero.

The reason is quite simple - I don't do this to gain sexual pleasure. I don't find receiving anal stimulating and because of strong gag reflex I don't like objects inserted into my mouth, so giving oral to male is very unpleasant exercises (smell and taste is awful too). All that is very humiliating and degrading - and it is exactly what I seek as sub. When used by other male I feel deprived of my sexuality and reduced to sexless object.

g



TotallyDude -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/8/2011 9:54:28 AM)

quote:

Me, I've had fantasies of the sort you describe. I've always considered myself 90% straight, with a bit of bi thrown in there somewhere. I don't give a rotating rat's arse if someone wants to call me straight, bi or gay, however. In the same way, it doesn't exercise me at all if someone wants to describe my eyes as green, or as hazel. So long as I don't end up on my death bed thinking 'Oh shit. I always wanted to do X, but I never did, because I was scared it'd mean I was then a [insert label]'


Yeah I'm the same way bro. I can't really imagine the horror of being a dude who has never ever had a thought about another dude, or who is frightened by those thoughts. It's weird and sad though I've had women freak out when they find out I've kissed boys. At least once it became a serious longterm issue in the relationship to the point that I finally had to just break things off.



PeonForHer -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/8/2011 10:27:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TotallyDude]
Yeah I'm the same way bro. I can't really imagine the horror of being a dude who has never ever had a thought about another dude, or who is frightened by those thoughts. It's weird and sad though I've had women freak out when they find out I've kissed boys. At least once it became a serious longterm issue in the relationship to the point that I finally had to just break things off.


Funny. That same old feeling stirred . . . I could imagine doing the equivalent with another male as I've done with females. Most sexual things, that is. But kissing one? Nup. Not for me. Though, it doesn't turn a hair on me to know that other males have done it and liked it.

Hmmm. Mind you, I once had a real big squelcher from a CD at a BDSM club. It was good, too. But, then, he was a very pretty CD. Er, OK, maybe I'll do some more contemplating.

In my experience, women have been much less forgiving of bi-impulses in males than vice versa. No real idea why.



Dnomyar -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/8/2011 10:35:32 AM)

Peon I like the bi-impulse ideal. I agree that women are more forgiving than men. I think that it is pounded into men since childhood that homosexual and bi is bad. Women dont have that put on them. So mabey thats why they are more tollarent.



LadyPact -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/8/2011 10:49:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
In my experience, women have been much less forgiving of bi-impulses in males than vice versa. No real idea why.

Social conditioning.  I've said this on other threads.  The attitudes regarding bisexuality has not caught up and become even between the genders when it comes to acceptance.  In part, some of this can be attributed to porn that is geared toward heterosexual men.  (Yes, I'm actually going to say something good about it.)  That was a huge part of changing the climate regarding bisexuality in women.  It became less stigmatized and more accepted.  That same kind of change hasn't necessarily happened for bisexual males, so acceptability is still lagging behind.

As to which gender is more tolerant of bisexuality in males, it varies.  It's very hard for someone like Me who has a specific vested interest in the area to make a call.  I'm not particularly tolerant of prejudices between the genders on the subject, so I may not get as much well rounded input.



TotallyDude -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/8/2011 11:06:22 AM)

quote:

Peon I like the bi-impulse ideal. I agree that women are more forgiving than men. I think that it is pounded into men since childhood that homosexual and bi is bad. Women dont have that put on them. So mabey thats why they are more tollarent.


I haven't really found that to be the case. Like, I'm pretty sure that women are more forgiving of bisexual urges in other women. But as far as bisexual urges in men, I've found some women who absolutely shocked me with how prejudiced and bigoted they were.

Of course you can't really determine anything from a small sample size of anecdotal evidence. You may be right that statistically women are more tolerant. But as a practical matter on a day to day basis, I've been a little taken aback by how intolerant some women who seemed sane and cool were about gay/bi impulses in guys they might be involved with.



Dnomyar -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/8/2011 11:17:36 AM)

I find older people are less tolerant than younger people. A sign of the times.



PeonForHer -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/8/2011 11:21:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I find older people are less tolerant than younger people. A sign of the times.


That can go in swings, Ray. I've come across all too many stuffed up kids of liberal-minded flower children [;)]



TotallyDude -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/8/2011 11:26:17 AM)

quote:

I find older people are less tolerant than younger people. A sign of the times.


I haven't really found that to be true. In my 20s I knew a lot of jaded, spoiled rotten club girls who talked a nice progressive/hedonist flow but who got crazy possessive and were absolutely bigoted about the thought of a guy they were involved with every kissing or doing anything with another guy. Their rationale ranged from "Oh that's how AIDS is spread" to "If a guy has ever kissed a guy you know he'll cheat on you" but it was just straight up intolerance.

Again you can't generalize from small groups but I can say in my experience bigotry and homophobia occur in all ages, all income and education levels, and in all espoused political affiliations. Similarly surprising levels of tolerance and acceptance show up across the spectrum.



sexyred1 -> RE: bi or not bi? (2/8/2011 11:26:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TotallyDude

quote:

Peon I like the bi-impulse ideal. I agree that women are more forgiving than men. I think that it is pounded into men since childhood that homosexual and bi is bad. Women dont have that put on them. So mabey thats why they are more tollarent.


I haven't really found that to be the case. Like, I'm pretty sure that women are more forgiving of bisexual urges in other women. But as far as bisexual urges in men, I've found some women who absolutely shocked me with how prejudiced and bigoted they were.

Of course you can't really determine anything from a small sample size of anecdotal evidence. You may be right that statistically women are more tolerant. But as a practical matter on a day to day basis, I've been a little taken aback by how intolerant some women who seemed sane and cool were about gay/bi impulses in guys they might be involved with.


I totally agree with you. I know women who think girl on girl is hot as hell and yet if a boyfriend of theirs admitted to kissing a guy, they ran screaming from the room. I think it scares women when men admit to being bi in that they think they will leave them for a man, while bi women don't concern them at all in that way.



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