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ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 2:32:23 AM   
asheville


Posts: 8
Joined: 2/4/2011
Status: offline 		How can I find him: SLIM/FIT VERY YOUNG AND NOT GAY ACTING. THOSE ARE THE REQUIREMENTS.

I AM A SEXY SEX MACHINE AND A HIGHLY SKILLED SLAVE MASTER. 32, WHITE, HUNG, CLEAN, HOMEBODY.

I cannot find anyone at all in my area! Help!

< Message edited by asheville -- 2/5/2011 3:11:59 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 5:01:29 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Well what have you done so far, that isn't working? Stop doing that.

Try whatever you haven't tried yet, that might work. Then you'll probably make progress.

You'll be fine. You were just doing it backwards, that's all.

_____________________________

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(in reply to asheville)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 5:20:24 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I'm confused after looking at your profile and your post. I think the "I AM" in your post refers to what you seek, not who you are?

I don't know how it works in MM relationships, but you wanting someone to move right in would be a definite no no in a MF relationship, so I'm going to suggest you slow down a bit and get to know people before you discuss him moving in.

(in reply to asheville)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 5:37:11 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Well, let's see. You just joined collarme. Your self description is that you're the best Master in the state. And your post here contains more words than your actual profile. And your post here seems to be focused on getting results instantly.

Dude. None of the impression you're giving off strikes me as Masterful in the least.

Since you have all this tremendous experience as a Master, you should be well acquainted with the local scene. And know how to work it so that collarme is not your main method of looking.

Or you could do things like specify how much experience you have, the qualities you're looking for in a boy past the superficial, and what you could offer him. The sorts of things that other Masters would say.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 5:59:48 AM   
0ldhen


Posts: 2221
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
Status: offline 		I cmailed this guy on the side, tried to explain the forum was not for want ads, then explained to him how the search function worked on the other side.

His reply was that " no there isn't anything except a bunch of dumb crazy hillbilly shit around here".

Well shucks Pa, pass the taters and call me sally.

Please dude, slow down, take a breath and take your time. This is a great site.

< Message edited by 0ldhen -- 2/5/2011 6:05:03 AM >

_____________________________

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't.

Za'beeta Regal, Et Vogo O' Lurwadra'd Wyka Go Abosh Inunsey.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 6:05:50 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

Well shucks Pa, pass the taters and call me sally.


dammit...

grabs paper towels to wipe down monitor

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to 0ldhen)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 6:35:19 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		There are munch groups and a nicely equipped dungeon in Asheville. Look em up.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 6:59:39 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

There are munch groups and a nicely equipped dungeon in Asheville. Look em up.


Which does does show poor ashville's ignornace.
(Note to ashville: ignorance simply means not knowing; that is not to be confused with stupidity. Bigotry would be assuming everyone were crazy assed hillbillies without bothering to actually check out the local scene. Arrogance is touting how you are the best Master in the state when according to you you haven't found anybody and that translates to zero experience. Annoying is not bothering to check the CAPS LOCK button before you hit send so that in part of your post your are shouting which is very rude. Oh, and stupidity was putting this in the wrong place: this belongs in introductions, which really would have been apparent had you bothered to read the forum guidelines.)

_____________________________

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(as deemed by He who owns me)

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(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 8:29:07 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: asheville

I AM A SEXY SEX MACHINE



Well hot damn, how can it be that you can't find anyone? What is the reason for that?

If I were you I'd start trying to figure things out by considering the many informative replies you've gotten so far and change some things up. I don't think anyone is actually taking you seriously enough to want to get with you after viewing your many faux pas. Declaring yourself the 'best master in the state' on your profile was personally one of the funniest things I've ever read here. How was this determined? Was there a state-wide "Slave-Off" where contending Masters could demonstrate their Masterliness before a jury of their peers? If there was I can actually see you taking home the title for Biggest Poseur, but I digress.

If you want to know why you can't find anyone in a nutshell, I invite you to reread the part of your OP that I quoted above. That my dear is an outrageously daffy gem of a statement. I'd like to frame that or at least put it on a t-shirt.
Slaves/submissives don't generally submit to those that they find incredibly ridiculous. Put a lid on it and try to exude some patience and quiet confidence and you might get some interest.

< Message edited by Killerangel -- 2/5/2011 8:33:33 AM >

(in reply to asheville)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 8:35:09 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: asheville

How can I find him: SLIM/FIT VERY YOUNG AND NOT GAY ACTING. THOSE ARE THE REQUIREMENTS.


Not gay "acting"? So you mean genuinely gay then - proper, "shove it up my arse and call me Susan", “I adore musical theatre”, “Stop! Those shoes don’t go with those pants!” gay?

quote:

ORIGINAL: asheville
I AM A SEXY SEX MACHINE


You're saying you're a bit of a dildo? How odd ... that was sort of where I was going next, comment-wise, but you got there first. Fair play!


quote:

ORIGINAL: asheville
I cannot find anyone at all in my area! Help!


I suspect they're all hiding.

(in reply to asheville)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 8:37:47 AM   
SaintIntensity


Posts: 177
Joined: 5/25/2007
Status: offline 		methinks this profile will be gone in the Twink of an eye....

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 8:38:42 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaintIntensity

methinks this profile will be gone in the Twink of an eye....


Methinks you bespeak the truth.

(in reply to SaintIntensity)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 8:40:12 AM   
SaintIntensity


Posts: 177
Joined: 5/25/2007
Status: offline 		shame his profile text was clipped to "best master __ in the state"

seriously, do these people have so much net access on the ward???

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 8:42:46 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Welcome to the forums, OP

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Your self description is that you're the best Master in the state.

I know people in that state.  I can promise the above claim isn't accurate.

quote:

Since you have all this tremendous experience as a Master, you should be well acquainted with the local scene.

It's stuff like this that makes Me *wish* that I could go back and visit certain munch groups just to watch people like this show up.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 8:46:16 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaintIntensity

shame his profile text was clipped to "best master __ in the state"


"If Carlsberg did BDSM" :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SaintIntensity
seriously, do these people have so much net access on the ward???


I'd go with "bored teenage boys who like wanking while posting crap to the net".

(in reply to SaintIntensity)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 9:34:30 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue


I'd go with "bored teenage boys who like wanking while posting crap to the net".



Unfortunately, I don't think so. Just the feeling I get that it's not a prank, but sadly enough a 'real' guy who wanted the insta-slave and no one is taking him up on it for good reason so he's pissing his drawers like all best masters in the state do when they're frustrated that no one believes them enough to take them up on the offer. The "Why are people seldom who they claim to be" thread might be an education for this bumbling idiot- especially the part where the OP disappeared because his own claims were highly suspect. Lol. I love that.  

And wooo boy what an offer, I so wish I was a non-gay-acting young gay boy so I could be with a SEXY SEX MACHINE. Honestly, who the heck would describe themselves like that? I am in awe.
I am like really making a t-shirt like that for myself, I'll crack myself up all day long.

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 10:01:16 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline 		FR


NURSE!    He's out of bed and at the computer again.




(in reply to Killerangel)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 10:06:11 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

NURSE!    He's out of bed and at the computer again.


I had a T-shirt made for me a few years ago; it has a big picture of the Buddy Christ from Dogma on it.

Above the pic it says "JESUS LOVES YOU" and below the pic is written:

"but I think you're a cunt".

:)

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 10:08:23 AM   
asheville


Posts: 8
Joined: 2/4/2011
Status: offline 		Instead of being vague, how about being helpful?

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: ASHEVILLE, N.C. - 2/5/2011 10:12:02 AM   
asheville


Posts: 8
Joined: 2/4/2011
Status: offline 		FYI, you people take yourselves SO SERIOUSLY that you fell into my sarcasm analytically. Dry Humor. Look it up. Online Hyperbole.....look it up e.g. "BFF". You people need to get over yourselves and realize that some people are smart enough to be sarcastic and dry humored in their online writings. Really, it happens sometimes. That's the moral here.

(in reply to asheville)
Profile   Post #: 20
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