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RE: Therapy - 2/8/2011 8:36:06 PM   
LPslittleclip


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im a collared slave and a combat nurse in the army so i  have responsibility's and leadership and i choose to be submissive to my Mistress it is simply who i am. now if you are confused as to why you are submissive or need support then therapy would help. but even the new dsmr5 coming out soon shows sexual sadism and sexual masochism as imbalances and have no cure. in pre-Elizabethan times social pressures were not on sex so it was not a problem. what you need to address is who am i and what do i want and how to get there.

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LadyPact

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RE: Therapy - 2/8/2011 8:45:41 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


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My last non kink understanding or friendly therapist tried to tell me being into bdsm was a way to get sexually abused like when I was a lil kid and not take responcibility for being abused. She got told off and I never saw her again. We're not gonna be able to tell you what a therapist is going to do for your treatment, only they can.
quote:

ORIGINAL: SyntheticPet

What would a non-kink friendly therapist do to help me?


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RE: Therapy - 2/8/2011 8:46:44 PM   
MercTech


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Therapy for kink... I've known one that went to therapy over their kink.
Their desire for certain things led them into very risky, even life threatening, behaviors.
The fellow ended up with his one year chip in sexual addicts anonymous the last I saw of him. I'd think therapy would be called for once desires become obsessions that interfere with one being functional.

Stefan

(in reply to MissAsylum)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Therapy - 2/8/2011 8:56:40 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
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From: The cold bit of the UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

I wasn't aware that being submissive was a mental illness!

In your case it might be....

Wait, that might not have anything to do with you being a submissive..(ZING)





For you darling, I'd switch!



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There's nowt so queer as folk


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RE: Therapy - 2/8/2011 8:59:33 PM   
hikaribennet


Posts: 92
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From: Munchkin Land
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One question: how exactly can femdom, or even feminism in itself as was earlier posted, be considered unnatural? The earliest civilizations were matriarchal... because women were considered more in tune with nature itself.

The next time you want to call a Dominant woman 'unnatural', take a look at ants. Or bees. Or elephants, or killer whales. Or bonobos. I'd say that's as close to nature as you're going to get!

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Therapy - 2/8/2011 8:59:47 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
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quote:

For you darling, I'd switch!

If I was submissive, you sure as hell wouldn't have what it took to "tame" me.

You're fluffy FFS!


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submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Therapy - 2/8/2011 9:14:20 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


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Look this is like anything else, if it disturbs you and you believe you have a problem. Stop doing it and find something else to do. To be honest with you, it's like how people that stop smoking still have urges to smoke, people that stop drinking still having urges to drink. Let's say you woke up one day and the type of clothing you wore bothered you... The logical thing this is to "MAKE A DECISION" one way or the other, then simply "START DOING WHATEVER YOU DECIDED". Human beings tend to be creatures of habit, so change is not always easy.

I'm expressing this to you without getting into What is or is not an Mental illness. But you have to make a choice to accept certain things within yourself and that ONLY YOU, ultimately have the POWER within YOURSELF to do something about it.

You can rewire your own mind, provided you putting forth the effort to change. This is provided your brain functions are rather normal. (nothing major like severe frontal lobe damage and such).


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RE: Therapy - 2/8/2011 9:26:45 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
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Maybe try this?

Every time you feel the urge to seek out a Domme..Lay your penis out on the kitchen table and smack it with a small ball-peen hammer.

A few things will come out of that. A: You'll get over your desire for this lifestyle rather quickly
OR
B: You'll search like never before for a Domme that's into penis hammering.

~HelpfulIcarys


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Therapy - 2/8/2011 9:50:32 PM   
Palliata


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I'm regretting bringing up the natural vs unnatural thing now, but since I've already made myself the harbinger of thread drift, here goes nothing. Before I get started, let me clarify that I am in no way intending to demean female dominants or male submissives - I have the utmost respect for you guys and am a firm believer that biological determinism is fallacy. That was, in fact, my original point.

Anyway, the argument that the "earliest societies" were matriarchal is one I've heard before, though I've yet to see any solid evidence to support it. If you're referring to ancient tribal societies, we don't actually have any idea because they were pre-literate and therefore prehistoric. The guesses tend to fall along party lines - feminists support the idea of matriarchal organization, non-feminists do not. The only indications we have of that are so-called artifacts of the sacred feminine (not the Dan Brown one ) which are interpreted by archaeologists as pointing to the existence of female deities. This interpretation is, itself, open to debate, as are any interpretations not based on written record. In any case I see no reason why this indicates that the mortal realm was matriarchal, nor have I ever heard an argument made to get from point A to point B on that - those who claim it as evidence seem to simply state it and move on.

The first known civilizations, those which sprung up in Mesopotamia (Sumeria, Babylonia, Assyria, Akkadia, etc.), were patriarchal in nature, leading most (myself included) to presume their predecessors were as well. In the absence of evidence to the contrary, one can only assume. Also typically patriarchal were the ancient Gallic, Germanic, Greek, Italic, Brittanic, Egyptian, Russianic, and Chinese civilizations which sprung up later, (in the case of Europe this includes both pre-indoeuropean and post-indoeuropean). These societies were also largely patrilinear, which most would argue is a further sign of male 'dominance.'

Arguments have been made for Celtic (both Gallic and Brittanic) matriarchy, but these are founded principally on the presence and prominence of female deities, which is not a necessarily or demonstrably causal relationship. I have not seen further evidence beyond those points with regards to the Celts, but I haven't researched them exhaustively so that may or may not exist. If anyone knows of it, I would be interested to see it. Arguments have also been made for matriarchy in Native American society as a result of the "Wise Woman" figure, and these hold more water, especially in light of the smattering of matrilinear tribes. However, even in the matrilinear tribes which possessed a role in the archetype of the wise woman, final say in practical, political matters almost always lay with the male leadership. Religious matters were the domain of feminine dominion, leaving us with a society which is more or less egalitarian and equal. It should be noted that most of the information about these tribes springs either from notoriously inaccurate oral tradition or from outside observations upon European arrival, meaning we have very little to go on with regard to what they were doing in the classical or pre-classical periods. Native South American and Central American peoples left more complete records which indicate patriarchal organization.

The only area I won't speak to is African history, as I frankly have no education whatsoever in it before the time of European arrival, and even then my knowledge is dubious at best. If anyone who specializes (or even has done significant personal research) in that area wants to chime in I'd be happy for the chance to gain a bit of knowledge.

Sociologists have looked to so-called 'lost tribes' for an answer to this question with, as I understand it as a layman, principally patriarchal results. Again, this is in no way my area, so input would be nice.

With regard to modern times, my original point was very much that modern times are characterized by a departure from our natural roots both in terms of culture and in terms of lifestyle, and most would agree it is still a "man's world" regardless. To the point regarding ants, bonobo, etc., the relevance is nil - we are not ants, bonobo, or elephants. The way they order their societies, if you want to call them such, is necessarily different.

To conclude, that which is natural is not necessarily right, and that which is unnatural is not necessarily wrong. Do what makes you happy.

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I speak not of The Way, but only My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

I'm male. I know it sounds female. Work with me.

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Therapy - 2/8/2011 10:11:49 PM   
DarkSteven


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You know, there are quite a few Dom/mes and switches that used to be subs. So change can happen, but I haven't heard of therapy being a part of it.

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Therapy - 2/8/2011 10:16:00 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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Sunny
Quote of the Day
goes to
OttersSwim

for
(aversion therapy... where) you run the risk of actually enjoying the treatment!
Where in the wide world of sports would you be then!?


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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: Therapy - 2/9/2011 9:30:25 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

For you darling, I'd switch!

If I was submissive, you sure as hell wouldn't have what it took to "tame" me.

You're fluffy FFS!



I'm fluffy on the outside, but the inner bun is armour plated and lead-lined...

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There's nowt so queer as folk


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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Therapy - 2/9/2011 10:23:55 AM   
a1111


Posts: 49
Joined: 10/1/2009
Status: offline
I actually phoned a therapist up last week. \She told me over the phone, with s and m its usually down to repeating some sort of behaviour from when we we're younger, she seemed very intelligent. Its pretty obvious for me where i get submissive desiers from.

I'm gonna booka n appointment when I can get the balls to do so.

< Message edited by a1111 -- 2/9/2011 10:24:45 AM >

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Therapy - 2/9/2011 10:27:22 AM   
a1111


Posts: 49
Joined: 10/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

Isn't this like curing homosexuality? You are what you are, at most you can suppress your desires and therapists could help you to do that (similarly to those that claim to cure homosexuality).

Apparantly that's not ture, thats a question i asked her, it surprised me really.

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Therapy - 2/9/2011 10:29:01 AM   
a1111


Posts: 49
Joined: 10/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SyntheticPet


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

OP, you can find a kink friendly therapist to discuss your needs with; someone here has the link for that.

But here is the thing, it is not a mental illness to be wired or interested in BDSM. Remember, you don't have a choice as to what turns you on, but you DO have a choice whether to engage in it.

Remember that very important distinction.


What would a non-kink friendly therapist do to help me?



Was yuor mum dominant at home? maybe over bearing towards yuorself or dad?

pm me if you want too.

(in reply to SyntheticPet)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Therapy - 2/9/2011 11:40:05 AM   
Lockit


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Oh god lord! lol One thing I do know is that with a therapist, they are getting paid and with the unethical, they will keep you coming back without a lot of resolution or one you will fall for, because you silly creature are making their boat payments. There are good ones and bad ones and to give you a solution over the phone stating that people in s and m are repeating something from childhood... like a traumatic event... is bull shit therapy.

Overbearing mothers... or was it daddy... those fuckers sure do cause a lot of harm that mean many suffer all their lives and wish to suffer some more because they are comfortable with it. Give me a fucking break! lol There is no more abuse in us or our history as there are with those not involved with bdsm or s and m. If you want to find something in childhood to boo hoo about, you can find it. I am sure you fell down when your mother frowned at you and it scarred you for life. You will need years of paid therapy to get over it and explain a personality that could be there from birth without damage unless the birth canal was so traumatic you are scarred for life. In which case, we are all messed up. lol

Every mother will tell you and some dads, that a baby is born with a personality and some are demanding and some are gentle, some are loud and some are quiet. Some rush into life wanting to move across the room and share daddy's stereo and some okay to just sit and watch life. Some can't stand to be messy and some don't care. There are kids headed for trouble no matter what their parents did and how they were raised and those that make for good with the worst of parents. Explain all this to me, please. Don't forget all those things in childhood that could have messed you up... like not being included at popular kids birthday party or someone calling you mud face. Are we so fragile that there must be something in our past that makes us fucked up if we like this or that? How about, you just like it?

You want a reason or an excuse to keep you trapped in victim mode... you go for it... but for me... It is what it is, live and let live, find your personal accountability and freedom and have some fun! Sometimes things are just they way they are and you want a life anal plug, go for it, but don't blame someone else because you get off to it.

Going this route you ignore the physical aspect of how a body may function as well.

There are serious things that do happen in life that may well effect us and may need to get over or through, but the basis of bdsm or s and m are not the excuse many would like to make it.


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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Therapy - 2/9/2011 1:59:16 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
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I need a therapeutic bj

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all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to SyntheticPet)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Therapy - 2/9/2011 2:05:26 PM   
LadyRedRose


Posts: 104
Joined: 1/28/2011
Status: offline
i've been working on a degree in psychology because i want to be a kink friendly therapist. in the case of the OP, i'd be asking him why he felt he needed to be cured of his submissive tendencies, why he considered them abnormal. why can't the person accept themselves just the way they are?

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Therapy - 2/9/2011 2:40:07 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Yes, I can see that osf. I might turn to being a Domme if I hear the word subbie used again.



DON'T you dare say that!!! Don't you realize how many submissive or switch males (and probably a few female submissives) on here will now post "Hey red..............SUBBIE".

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Therapy - 2/9/2011 2:48:03 PM   
Lockit


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Profile   Post #: 60
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