Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom?

Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (Full Version)

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SlevinKelevra -> Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 3:00:46 PM)
Hello....sorry for the dumb question here but I am curious as to why femdom seems to intertwine so much with the concept of de-manlinization. In other words, why you must make a man less in such sense. I don´t really complain since I don´t do it and I never will, but I thought it was valid to ask a question since I saw a guy´s reply on a topic which was originally commented on fetlife which went like a guy, a SeAL asking why his domme wanted to dress him like a sissy and stra-on him since he actually had a pelvic injury that let him remain in service but in his words, makes it impossible for anything bigger than a lipstick to go in before hiting a wall...the reply he posted on FB was. " I don´t get why, being a Manly macho gentleman who is willingly submitting to a feminine woman, praising femininity and womanhood by submitting to it, I should let her act as if she was a man and dominate me by penetrating me as a woman because that´s quite a mixed signal that I am getting here....... because if this is femdom, why does she need to act like a man and copy a part of our anatomy to be dominant and make me take it like a homo to be submisive?" Truth is, afterreading that reply, I wanted to ask Dommes exactly what is their kick that they get out of strap-ons. And more importantly, why they need to get that and produce that effect ?

LadyPact -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 3:03:55 PM)
I'm going to ask very politely that you use the search feature regarding your question. I've answered this question multiple times over the years. If you do not find My answer in pre-written material, please feel free to ask Me what part of the issue you are still confused about coming from Me. Thank you and have a good day.

AAkasha -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 3:15:19 PM)
When I was a teenager, long before I even lost my virginity, I used to playfully make my boyfriend lay on his stomach or get on all fours while I got behind him and pumped my hips against his ass. We were mostly laughing and giggling about it, but it felt good. It felt good and I liked the idea that I was directing the action and he was receiving the action. I was just pretending, but it still got me excited. Maybe that kind of programmed me for the concept at that point, because that arousal and messing around led to heavy petting which led to my first orgasms (manually, not even through intercourse) and voila, here I am, with a bonafide fetish. I don't think it has anything to do with masculine or not, demasculinization or not, or "sissies." Anal penetration is erotic. As to why and how, that varies depending on the person doing it. If a man has strap on play or anal as a hard limit, I'm ok with that, but he's still going to end up on all fours, or face down, while I pump suggestively into his ass region with my hips - it's fun. I like it. It gets me going. Sometimes I watch my 8 pound chihuahua humping my 80 pound Labrador's head. The lab isn't even aware of it, doesn't care. The little dog loves it. She's exercising dominance over him. They're both fixed, it's not sexual. It's just fun. Why not? Akasha

DarkSteven -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 5:42:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I'm going to ask very politely that you use the search feature regarding your question. And I'll ask as well, but less politely.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 6:05:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlevinKelevra I am curious as to why femdom seems to intertwine so much with the concept of de-manlinization. In other words, why you must make a man less in such sense. So... penetration = de-masculinisation? Tell that to the two bears whose first date I eavesdropped on the other day in a coffee-shop. I'm sure they'd be terribly amused. And that once they'd finished showing you the error of your ways they'd go home and have fantastic (and extremely manly) sex. Sex is sex is sex. Does it really matter who does what to whom? If your masculinity is so fragile that it's threatened by a lump of silicone then I'm not convinced it's really all that substantial in the first place.

leadership527 -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 6:17:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlevinKelevra Hello....sorry for the dumb question here but I am curious as to why femdom seems to intertwine so much with the concept of de-manlinization. In other words, why you must make a man less in such sense. You know, I suppose any number of folks might debate my manliness -- especially after the red thong episode -- but I don't see what the hell getting fucked in the ass has to do with manliness. I tend to think more about things like "character traits" when I think of "manliness".

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 6:53:45 PM)
Homophobia. Always pathetic!

PeonForHer -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 7:16:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlevinKelevra Truth is, afterreading that reply, I wanted to ask Dommes exactly what is their kick that they get out of strap-ons. And more importantly, why they need to get that and produce that effect ? Presumably, you'll have done some searching and have found, by now, that Dommes talk a lot about the sense of power and control it gives them to penetrate a man with a strap-on. I think I see at least part of the dilemma you're getting at: it's as though there's an assumption that what men do in vanilla sex is powerful; what women do in vanilla sex is yield to power. I've often heard the idea that, as soon as you use the word 'penetrate' in vanilla sex, you start to talk in terms that assume that the male is the one with the power. A man penetrates (active) - a woman can only receive the penetration (passive). It's somewhat rarer to hear of a woman using her vagina to envelop a man's cock ('envelop' being female-active and male-passive). But I have to say, I've never, ever heard of a man using his anus to 'exert his power' by enveloping a woman's strap-on. Still, I'm not sure that there's any necessary connection between all the foregoing and ideas of 'feminising' or 'de-masculinising'.

Dnomyar -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 7:19:45 PM)
So far eveyone is dancing around the question. OP anal penertration is not your thing. The other gentleman should have made it a hard limit. If he did then his Domme should respect it. I have gay friends and I dont view them as any less a man or woman. If your going to judge people then why are you here. If you cant open your mind then this is the wrong place for you.

Tantriqu -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 7:56:17 PM)
Dude. Fucking a good and manly man in his ass is not feminising, and I have fucked the Canadian equivalents of SEALs; a couple of my favourites, actually: a divemaster, a homicide detective. I'm also not buying the lipstick theory; if he'd fractured his coccyx [hah!] enough to interfere with his defecation, he'd be using a colostomy bag until they pinned it, and then he could at least pass something the size of a bisected popsicle. Besides, there are plenty of darling lipstick-sized vibrating dildos, and cross-dressing is a hard limit to most lifestyle Dommes, since the fetish absorbs most of the fetishists' time and energy. Lotsa military and mediterranean guys pull macho crap to cover their bi- tendencies, such as being attracted to SEAL-guy and/or wanting to watch him getting pegged, but only if he crossdresses. Here's my previous post: [ahem] Why I like strap-on sex: #1: I come like a bull #2 Nobody gets pregnant, him or Me. No bladder infections, no yeast infections. #3: It feels very natural [as AAkasha said] #4: Power. Watching a strong manly man kneel and assume the position? purr. #5: Did I mention, I *come* like a *BULL*? #6: Strap-ons with a vibe in the base = multiple orgasms #7: The sounds a good man makes when he's entered #8: See #1

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 8:21:44 PM)
~FR~ What I don't understand is why some men think it's okay for women to take it in the ass but not men. An ass is an ass, and the ass of either gender wasn't actually made for sex. Another thing.....some guys actually do like having it up the poop chute because it massages the prostate. And some of them are really macho manly men too. edited to add: Bottom line, if he can't stand it....make it a hard limit. ~sweetsub~

SlevinKelevra -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 9:06:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha When I was a teenager, long before I even lost my virginity, I used to playfully make my boyfriend lay on his stomach or get on all fours while I got behind him and pumped my hips against his ass. We were mostly laughing and giggling about it, but it felt good. It felt good and I liked the idea that I was directing the action and he was receiving the action. I was just pretending, but it still got me excited. Maybe that kind of programmed me for the concept at that point, because that arousal and messing around led to heavy petting which led to my first orgasms (manually, not even through intercourse) and voila, here I am, with a bonafide fetish. I don't think it has anything to do with masculine or not, demasculinization or not, or "sissies." Anal penetration is erotic. As to why and how, that varies depending on the person doing it. If a man has strap on play or anal as a hard limit, I'm ok with that, but he's still going to end up on all fours, or face down, while I pump suggestively into his ass region with my hips - it's fun. I like it. It gets me going. Sometimes I watch my 8 pound chihuahua humping my 80 pound Labrador's head. The lab isn't even aware of it, doesn't care. The little dog loves it. She's exercising dominance over him. They're both fixed, it's not sexual. It's just fun. Why not? Akasha Well, I will admit one thing: the way things are in men in my country, only one person could do strap-on to a man without any ill side-effects and that's his wife. That said, your hips on my ass, as an example....well, that's something I'd love, I may not be against humping and being on the passive or receptive position without having to be the receiving end like a plug, so humping without strap-oning is ok for me.

SlevinKelevra -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 9:10:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: SlevinKelevra I am curious as to why femdom seems to intertwine so much with the concept of de-manlinization. In other words, why you must make a man less in such sense. So... penetration = de-masculinisation? Tell that to the two bears whose first date I eavesdropped on the other day in a coffee-shop. I'm sure they'd be terribly amused. And that once they'd finished showing you the error of your ways they'd go home and have fantastic (and extremely manly) sex. Sex is sex is sex. Does it really matter who does what to whom? If your masculinity is so fragile that it's threatened by a lump of silicone then I'm not convinced it's really all that substantial in the first place. Well, excuse moi but those are bears, and I assume you mean it as Gay men with bodyhair and rugged features. I am not so if they want to put something on each orifice in their bodies, they can go ahead and have a merry time at doing so, but let me tell you, it does not really make them any less manly, as since they are gay, they were not all that "Absolut Manly" in the first place, would they? That's ok for gay men but not for us straight ones. My masculinity isn't threatened by it. I can shove my arm from fingertips to elbow joint and it doesn't do anything but to reassure me the sensation isn't to my liking, but the thing is, it's not about me...it's about why you need another penis in your life being it a plastic one to go "contra natura" and shove it up an orifice where God intended to not be used, and let's face it, a man banging another is anti-natural, otherwise there'd be no sense in boys liking girls, so why do you need to go contra natura as well? Psychologically, we can all justify it with the phrase "I want to be the one who gives and make him the one who takes" which is kinda like "I want to be inc ontrol and make my man my bitch" so after all, that would be equating having a penis as being dominant, so then again, is it femdom, or shemaledom ?

LPslittleclip -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 9:12:35 PM)
my Mistress enjoys it as it gives Her the feeling of power as well as being inside me, and yes i like it alot and im staright. the fact that i get more enjoyment from Hers is a bonus

SlevinKelevra -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 9:16:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: SlevinKelevra Truth is, afterreading that reply, I wanted to ask Dommes exactly what is their kick that they get out of strap-ons. And more importantly, why they need to get that and produce that effect ? Presumably, you'll have done some searching and have found, by now, that Dommes talk a lot about the sense of power and control it gives them to penetrate a man with a strap-on. I think I see at least part of the dilemma you're getting at: it's as though there's an assumption that what men do in vanilla sex is powerful; what women do in vanilla sex is yield to power. I've often heard the idea that, as soon as you use the word 'penetrate' in vanilla sex, you start to talk in terms that assume that the male is the one with the power. A man penetrates (active) - a woman can only receive the penetration (passive). It's somewhat rarer to hear of a woman using her vagina to envelop a man's cock ('envelop' being female-active and male-passive). But I have to say, I've never, ever heard of a man using his anus to 'exert his power' by enveloping a woman's strap-on. Still, I'm not sure that there's any necessary connection between all the foregoing and ideas of 'feminising' or 'de-masculinising'. At least an answer with 2 digits of IQ (actually 3).....buddy, thanks for being the voice of reason and not the voice of Feminazism... This is what I tried to ask. Odd, a sub male gave an answer which nobody else gave. My thing is not really with the concept of "active, giver = powerful partner vs passive-receiver = submissive one" but more as to why the concept has been on BDSM as if it was as important as communion is to a mass at church. I mean, sure, it's a valid fetish but why is it so important for a lady of dominance to go and pound a man ?... I read once an answer given by a man from Venezuela, and the guy did give a nice concept when he said on a yahoogroup "The problem with strap-ons is not that I have to take it, is that it makes me feel as if she tells me my ability to use mine to please her is so little, that she has to take up my role because I am lousy in bed with mine to serve her as an instrument for her pleasure" and yeah, that is insecure but has a valid ground on which to set roots.

SlevinKelevra -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 9:20:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tantriqu Dude. Fucking a good and manly man in his ass is not feminising, and I have fucked the Canadian equivalents of SEALs; a couple of my favourites, actually: a divemaster, a homicide detective. I'm also not buying the lipstick theory; if he'd fractured his coccyx [hah!] enough to interfere with his defecation, he'd be using a colostomy bag until they pinned it, and then he could at least pass something the size of a bisected popsicle. Besides, there are plenty of darling lipstick-sized vibrating dildos, and cross-dressing is a hard limit to most lifestyle Dommes, since the fetish absorbs most of the fetishists' time and energy. Lotsa military and mediterranean guys pull macho crap to cover their bi- tendencies, such as being attracted to SEAL-guy and/or wanting to watch him getting pegged, but only if he crossdresses. Here's my previous post: [ahem] Why I like strap-on sex: #1: I come like a bull #2 Nobody gets pregnant, him or Me. No bladder infections, no yeast infections. #3: It feels very natural [as AAkasha said] #4: Power. Watching a strong manly man kneel and assume the position? purr. #5: Did I mention, I *come* like a *BULL*? #6: Strap-ons with a vibe in the base = multiple orgasms #7: The sounds a good man makes when he's entered #8: See #1 I am not asking the guy why he does not use a colostomy bag, but now that I recall I did see he always had this odd shape on his lower back...anyways, this is also the second-best answer to my question... Now, come in like a bull....that is very worrysome, poor guy, hope he's insured, LOL (just a joke, don't mean to offend and if I did, sorry, I'll take pics of me cutting my forearm to make it bleed if you wish so I can provide an apology) but that is priceless... Thing is, I have met dommes who actually refuse doing strap-on and instead can dominate a man even if they are the ones receiving his phallus.....wonder how come they don't have to lose the feminine moves to do it while others must take male actions to have such power...

Dastan -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 9:28:01 PM)
Oirinal Poster SlevinKelevra = I do not think we have encountered before. I come from Inauria. And I take the strap-on of my owner with pleasure. Call me anything and we would have a serious disagreement. In their culture, they play these games. It is normal as their men are not taught or capable to please them properly, as only few have evolved into a superior state of being. Now I use this thread and this language to let all the ladies see that the topic is not, and your words are not, the precise sample of what we think in our country, your race and mine. Stop acting as if you are the representative of the quorum and consensus of our peoples. Please do not use the words of a Venezuelan man in this site, you cannot degrade the contents of the site by doing such thing. If he is worried about a plastic fascimile of a phallus being bigger and thicker, he is not that able to use his and should become better. As an act of charity towards him, if you can moderate your contents, I can share one of our elongative procedures for your friends and him to benefit from and anyone else who requires morphological upgrades.

LadyPact -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 9:29:19 PM)
OK, obviously you didn't take My advice and read what I've written on past threads. People use strap-ons for the same reasons they play with sounds, vibrators, and other devices. It's another fun way to have sex. Period. For Me, it has absolutely nothing to do with de-masculinization. Nothing further from it. In fact, I have a hard limit of feminizing males. It has nothing to do with Me wanting to be male. (Why in the hell anyone would think that is the case of anybody who isn't ftm TG is beyond Me.) There are just plain more ways to achieve orgasms than insert penis into vagina. It's called using all of your submissive's body to bring you pleasure.

Wickad -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/8/2011 11:54:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Homophobia. Always pathetic! Originally I thought this might be a bit harsh, but after his later replies ... spot on!! I'd also like to add that from some of his other comments ...wow, misogynist as well. Wickad

GreedyTop -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/9/2011 12:01:06 AM)
agrees with Wickad. (edited to correct dyslexic spelling...)

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