RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (Full Version)

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thishereboi -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/9/2011 4:49:52 PM)

What make you think that fucking a guy in the ass makes him less of a man?  Do you like fucking women and why? 




VaguelyCurious -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/9/2011 4:50:02 PM)

A couple of things:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wickad

Peni are the shape they are in order to inject semen as far into the vaginal cavity as possible. This increased chances of conception by 1) putting the swimmers closer to the goal, and 2) by allowing for the formation of a 'soft plug' further up the vaginal cavity and thus keeping the 'swimmers' where they are 'needed'.

Ok, I'll rephrase: the penis is in a shape that maximises female pleasure. The 'because' of the matter isn't really important.


quote:

Dildo's were created by male Dr's in a replica of male genitalia in order to deal with "hysteria" in women. It does not surprise me that their creations are the epitome of male ego made into silicone/latex.

Nope. Dildoes are way older than the Victorian concept of hysteria - ancient civilisations had them. I've seen replicas of Roman ones [:D][:D][:D]




Wickad -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/9/2011 5:43:58 PM)

Greetings VaguelyCurious,

Yes, I agree, dildos have been around longer than the Victorians. That concession being made, their classic (penis) shape still has little to do with a woman's pleasure and more to do with a man's ego - lol.

Wickad




PeonForHer -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/9/2011 6:12:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wickad

Greetings VaguelyCurious,

Yes, I agree, dildos have been around longer than the Victorians. That concession being made, their classic (penis) shape still has little to do with a woman's pleasure and more to do with a man's ego - lol.

Wickad


I'm not quite grasping how dildos are supposed to help men's egos, Wickad. Surely, if anything, they're going to do the opposite?




Tantriqu -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/9/2011 6:17:35 PM)

Nope. They need to be long and slim to fit through the anus into the rectum. They're NOT going to come in the shape of a brick OR an orange.
They need a bulb so they don't fall out during thrusting and orgasms, his or mine.

There the similarity to penii ends!
Mine have lovely ripples and waves and bulbs along the shafts, and lovely little nubs on the base for me to grind against!
The length and girth can be changed in a snap!
They come in pretty jewel-tone colours, not just cinnamon, rose, chocolate and hot pink!

And most importantly: they V i B r A TTTTTT E E E E E ! ! ! ! ! ! !!!!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WhEEeeEEeeEE!




hlen5 -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/10/2011 12:59:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Female grey seals [or cows, shudder] have dainty little nosie-woses, tight skin, and are cigar-shaped.
Male seals [bulls, eyeroll] have 'Roman' honkers for snoots, wrinkled rolls of skin, and more manly shoulders.


You can learn the most interesting things on this site, no matter what thread you're on!!!




MistressMeltz -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/10/2011 1:01:54 PM)

I enjoy using my strap on. My strapon is an extension of me. Its not about "breakin a man down." Shit I use it on fems more than I do on guys. I just love using it and Im bisexual so it gets used on guys and girls




leadership527 -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/10/2011 1:55:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMeltz
I enjoy using my strap on. My strapon is an extension of me. Its not about "breakin a man down." Shit I use it on fems more than I do on guys. I just love using it and Im bisexual so it gets used on guys and girls

You mean that there might be reasons other than power-exchange ones? You might just actually enjoy it? Go figure.

I have to say that back when I was really vanilla, it never occurred to me to think in these terms. I did sex stuff because it either felt good or it didn't. It never occurred to me to think who had the power or control. I never once stopped to ponder the mysteries of who was the active vs. passive role. I was more focused on "well shit that feels GREAT!" Even now when my vanilla-ness is in question the power exchange elements are only one tiny part of our sex life... a part neither of us cares about that much.

Why is it insufficient to simply say, "Because I like it." Why doesn't anyone ask, "Men, why do you like using <insert tool x> on your girl?" I mean seriously, if I'm using a flogger or a vibrator or a dildo or a.... on Carol then I'm not getting any direct sensation. You'd think that if I were truly manly, I'd want my cock embedded somewhere. Hell, I've even been known to suck on her nipples and that sounds suspiciously like some part of her being inserted into some part of me. OH NOOOEEES!!!

In the end, the only thing I can see that makes this any different than any other sexual practice is that the some people insist on adding emotional context into it that may be relevant to them, but probably isn't to the folks doing the activity.




VaguelyCurious -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/10/2011 3:30:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

You mean that there might be reasons other than power-exchange ones? You might just actually enjoy it? Go figure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wdHxyGcLoQ




strangedesire -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/10/2011 4:21:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

You mean that there might be reasons other than power-exchange ones? You might just actually enjoy it? Go figure.



See, you're a man, so you wouldn't understand. Women only do sexy stuff because it lets us use our vagina-power.




PeonForHer -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/10/2011 7:15:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Nope. They need to be long and slim to fit through the anus into the rectum. They're NOT going to come in the shape of a brick OR an orange.
They need a bulb so they don't fall out during thrusting and orgasms, his or mine.

There the similarity to penii ends!
Mine have lovely ripples and waves and bulbs along the shafts, and lovely little nubs on the base for me to grind against!
The length and girth can be changed in a snap!
They come in pretty jewel-tone colours, not just cinnamon, rose, chocolate and hot pink!

And most importantly: they V i B r A TTTTTT E E E E E ! ! ! ! ! ! !!!!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WhEEeeEEeeEE!


Was that in answer to me, T?

If so . . . nope, still not grasping it. I must admit, I'd always assumed that dildos were mainly invented by women for personal use. If anything, they'd hide them from their partners.




Dastan -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/10/2011 8:35:05 PM)

If I may intervene in the thread, with the ladies permission, and the gentlemen here, Í´d like to contribute:

Dildoes/Strap-Ons and such, or Vibrators and any phallic representations often can scare a male in many cultures, including our host one here, because it can touch a very sensitive nerve and that relates with insecurity. However, in my people´s view, it is slightly justified.

A man who sees his beloved lady obtaining pleasure from a device often faces 2 choices:

The first one is to consider it a normal, exploratory thing in which he is not being shortchanged, or replaced in a derogatory manner.

And oftenly this comes from a rationalization that what the other person does is use a devide which creates an stimulus that cannot be naturally obtained, as it occurs with vibrators with a secondary appendax that stimulates the clitoris and which also vibrate, rotate its head, expands and also has some warts or surface blisters or such to maximixe stimulation.

Put in other words, a runner does not consider himself less for losing a race against a horse or a motorbike. He knows what a "fair competition" is and therefore, does not establish any competitive relationship that can degenerate in self-esteem conflicts. Allow me to share an image as I believe my english is not rofficient enough to describe this item:

http://www.desiretpassion.com/CatalogDetails.asp?strDispType=p&intCode=1105


http://www.condomhippo.com/img.aspx?FileId=4f0b558cca3b444d913b83032d4c1455

And pardon me but I had to add this one to create some humorous responses....

http://www.templodehecate.com/archivos/adjuntos/img/DildoTransformersL.jpg

However, the second option comes from a man who sees his beloved lady obtaining pleasure from a mere plastic phallus, with no surface stimulants, vibration, any mechanical functions or addendums such as this one:

http://www.alibaba.com/product-gs/326905175/realistic_dildo_adult_sex_toy_for.html

Then he is going to ask himself ¿ Am I not enough ? because then he is literally being outmatched by a simple phallic imitation which is not "unmatcheable" (except if the size does surpass human genetics, such as 11 inches or such in size)...no vibrations or anything, he is going to think "I am not enough of a man (in size terms) for my lady"

In my people, we consider that in the second man´s case, he must be genuinely worried that, past the fact that there are some postural incapabilities and therefore, maneuvering limitations that he cannot overcome to match the dildo´s profficiency to stimulate and satisfy the lady in that case, he should become better so as to come as close as possible.

If my lady needed me to grow an extra inch and be 9 for her to tell me I score a 10 in her scale when we are together, I´ll do my best to get that extra inch or as close to it as possible. if she tells me I need to be 11, I must be realistic and know I can´t go past 9 perhaps. And then the ball is in her side of the field, so she can choose whether to love me or not, but whatever choice she takes, I will not feel bad or less a man, even if she dumps me and goes home to bed with Mandingo instead of me.

Having more isn´t having better, let alone being better. And I would be thankful if she dumped me for I would understand I wasn´t matching her needs and down the natural progression of matters, she would not match mine and we´d break part later than sooner in that case. Now, I wouldn´t hate her, just realize that she was not meant to be the one who kept me as her own, I´d learn from it and become better to try again. And I´d hate and envy mandingo perhaps, out of pride, and probably beat him up picking a fight with him but that is something else.

Therefore, that will create the trauma related with dildos, vibrators and strap-ons. As the person who started this topic proposed through his "quote" of another person´s post in a different site, a person could understand, from seeing his wife enjoying strap-ons, that he is assuming the possition to receive because he does not have enough to give. So when that happens, and the lady also uses strap-ons on him, ego takes a severe blow.

Strap-ons must intimidate some men because of such doubts. Once you clear your mind of fear, you can clear your mind from doubt, and you can prevent failure or survive it after facing it. No shape, size or color of any toy, strap-on or vibrator makes you less or puts you in a competition or changes who you are. A man does not need to fear, doubt himself and compete with a toy. if you have to, then you are in the wrong relationship.

To quote another thread of Mr. Kelevra, then you have to "man up", survive, adapt and overcome. Be all you can be and if it is not enough, don´t apologize for giving your best, and learn to live with it, and see if the other aprty can do the same or not.







Tantriqu -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/10/2011 8:46:29 PM)

No, responding to the debate that dildos are penis-shaped because of male ego.
And I saw the two-millenium-old dildos from the Chinese Terracotta Warriors! Also with nubs!
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu
Nope. They need to be long and slim to fit through the anus into the rectum. They're NOT going to come in the shape of a brick OR an orange.
They need a bulb so they don't fall out during thrusting and orgasms, his or mine.
There the similarity to penii ends!
Mine have lovely ripples and waves and bulbs along the shafts, and lovely little nubs on the base for me to grind against!
The length and girth can be changed in a snap!
They come in pretty jewel-tone colours, not just cinnamon, rose, chocolate and hot pink!
And most importantly: they V i B r A TTTTTT E E E E E ! ! ! ! ! ! !!!!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WhEEeeEEeeEE!


Was that in answer to me, T?

If so . . . nope, still not grasping it. I must admit, I'd always assumed that dildos were mainly invented by women for personal use. If anything, they'd hide them from their partners.






Wickad -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/10/2011 10:51:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wickad

Greetings VaguelyCurious,

Yes, I agree, dildos have been around longer than the Victorians. That concession being made, their classic (penis) shape still has little to do with a woman's pleasure and more to do with a man's ego - lol.

Wickad


I'm not quite grasping how dildos are supposed to help men's egos, Wickad. Surely, if anything, they're going to do the opposite?


LOL Peon,

I don't think it is about 'helping' men's egos but rather them presuming the object best suited to fulfilling a woman's desires must resemble their penis. Thinking that the last thing that would please a woman would be a penis would be a bit of a blow for some men. It would in effect render them useless except for breeding purposes - lol.

Wickad




LadyPact -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/11/2011 5:32:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
You mean that there might be reasons other than power-exchange ones? You might just actually enjoy it? Go figure.

I have to say that back when I was really vanilla, it never occurred to me to think in these terms. I did sex stuff because it either felt good or it didn't. It never occurred to me to think who had the power or control. I never once stopped to ponder the mysteries of who was the active vs. passive role. I was more focused on "well shit that feels GREAT!" Even now when my vanilla-ness is in question the power exchange elements are only one tiny part of our sex life... a part neither of us cares about that much.

Why is it insufficient to simply say, "Because I like it." Why doesn't anyone ask, "Men, why do you like using <insert tool x> on your girl?" I mean seriously, if I'm using a flogger or a vibrator or a dildo or a.... on Carol then I'm not getting any direct sensation. You'd think that if I were truly manly, I'd want my cock embedded somewhere. Hell, I've even been known to suck on her nipples and that sounds suspiciously like some part of her being inserted into some part of me. OH NOOOEEES!!!

In the end, the only thing I can see that makes this any different than any other sexual practice is that the some people insist on adding emotional context into it that may be relevant to them, but probably isn't to the folks doing the activity.

The above is actually part of the issue.  I don't know whether this comes from some outdated thinking that falsely believes that women don't just plain enjoy their sexual practices.  Anybody out there thinking that it's only us D/s or power play interested folks who are using dildos, vibes, or strap-ons seriously needs to visit a toy store and take a look at just who is buying these products.

The huge benefit to a strap-on rather than a hand held toy is the fact that it does feel good.  Both of the ones that I own are specifically designed for My sexual stimulation.  I don't see why that is such a difficult concept for some folks to grasp.




Tantriqu -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/11/2011 7:27:28 AM)

Strap-on haiku:

'Take' one good man; add
vibrating phallus, and I
Come like bull! Deal, dude.




mummyman321 -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/11/2011 12:13:59 PM)

Do I have to make the bull sound when I cum????[8D]




SlevinKelevra -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/11/2011 7:41:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dastan

If I may intervene in the thread, with the ladies permission, and the gentlemen here, Í´d like to contribute:

Dildoes/Strap-Ons and such, or Vibrators and any phallic representations often can scare a male in many cultures, including our host one here, because it can touch a very sensitive nerve and that relates with insecurity. However, in my people´s view, it is slightly justified.

A man who sees his beloved lady obtaining pleasure from a device often faces 2 choices:

The first one is to consider it a normal, exploratory thing in which he is not being shortchanged, or replaced in a derogatory manner.

And oftenly this comes from a rationalization that what the other person does is use a devide which creates an stimulus that cannot be naturally obtained, as it occurs with vibrators with a secondary appendax that stimulates the clitoris and which also vibrate, rotate its head, expands and also has some warts or surface blisters or such to maximixe stimulation.

Put in other words, a runner does not consider himself less for losing a race against a horse or a motorbike. He knows what a "fair competition" is and therefore, does not establish any competitive relationship that can degenerate in self-esteem conflicts. Allow me to share an image as I believe my english is not rofficient enough to describe this item:

http://www.desiretpassion.com/CatalogDetails.asp?strDispType=p&intCode=1105


http://www.condomhippo.com/img.aspx?FileId=4f0b558cca3b444d913b83032d4c1455

And pardon me but I had to add this one to create some humorous responses....

http://www.templodehecate.com/archivos/adjuntos/img/DildoTransformersL.jpg

However, the second option comes from a man who sees his beloved lady obtaining pleasure from a mere plastic phallus, with no surface stimulants, vibration, any mechanical functions or addendums such as this one:

http://www.alibaba.com/product-gs/326905175/realistic_dildo_adult_sex_toy_for.html

Then he is going to ask himself ¿ Am I not enough ? because then he is literally being outmatched by a simple phallic imitation which is not "unmatcheable" (except if the size does surpass human genetics, such as 11 inches or such in size)...no vibrations or anything, he is going to think "I am not enough of a man (in size terms) for my lady"

In my people, we consider that in the second man´s case, he must be genuinely worried that, past the fact that there are some postural incapabilities and therefore, maneuvering limitations that he cannot overcome to match the dildo´s profficiency to stimulate and satisfy the lady in that case, he should become better so as to come as close as possible.

If my lady needed me to grow an extra inch and be 9 for her to tell me I score a 10 in her scale when we are together, I´ll do my best to get that extra inch or as close to it as possible. if she tells me I need to be 11, I must be realistic and know I can´t go past 9 perhaps. And then the ball is in her side of the field, so she can choose whether to love me or not, but whatever choice she takes, I will not feel bad or less a man, even if she dumps me and goes home to bed with Mandingo instead of me.

Having more isn´t having better, let alone being better. And I would be thankful if she dumped me for I would understand I wasn´t matching her needs and down the natural progression of matters, she would not match mine and we´d break part later than sooner in that case. Now, I wouldn´t hate her, just realize that she was not meant to be the one who kept me as her own, I´d learn from it and become better to try again. And I´d hate and envy mandingo perhaps, out of pride, and probably beat him up picking a fight with him but that is something else.

Therefore, that will create the trauma related with dildos, vibrators and strap-ons. As the person who started this topic proposed through his "quote" of another person´s post in a different site, a person could understand, from seeing his wife enjoying strap-ons, that he is assuming the possition to receive because he does not have enough to give. So when that happens, and the lady also uses strap-ons on him, ego takes a severe blow.

Strap-ons must intimidate some men because of such doubts. Once you clear your mind of fear, you can clear your mind from doubt, and you can prevent failure or survive it after facing it. No shape, size or color of any toy, strap-on or vibrator makes you less or puts you in a competition or changes who you are. A man does not need to fear, doubt himself and compete with a toy. if you have to, then you are in the wrong relationship.

To quote another thread of Mr. Kelevra, then you have to "man up", survive, adapt and overcome. Be all you can be and if it is not enough, don´t apologize for giving your best, and learn to live with it, and see if the other aprty can do the same or not.







This is kinda the reason why we don't like your people so much dude. But then again it might be because we don't believe in breeding, eugenics and being total assholes raising kids.

And as for your offer....tempting, but no thanks. It would mean to owe you something or accept charity.




sweetsub1957 -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/11/2011 8:10:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SlevinKelevra
what is their kick that they get out of strap-ons. And more importantly, why they need to get that and produce that effect ?

In answer to the italicized portion....They do it because They can. And, in Femdom, She's the Boss.

~sweetsub~




CreepyStalker -> RE: Why do you need/like to use Strap-ons in Femdom? (2/12/2011 10:59:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

FR (because I will no longer be talking to the creepy homophobic man, but somebody else might like to read this)

I heard somebody say this on the fringes of the group I was standing in the other day. I'm pretty sure it was my SO (and feel a bit guilty that I'm not sure, but... [8D]).

Dildos are shaped like dildos because that is the shape to maximise pleasure to an orifice.

Cocks are shaped like cocks because that's the shape to maximise pleasure to an orifice (I know that's a bit teleological, but shhhhh :p).

So it's not that dildos are designed to be like cocks, it's that that both of them are roughly cylindrical because, hey! That's the shape of the orifice(s) in question. It just so happened that cocks developed first, but that doesn't mean you get to claim any kind of causation.


Wow, clearly your SO is as awesome and clever as you are.




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