quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss

I love it. I found out, when I thought about it, that this was my number one fantasy of all time, was to be owned.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

In short, whatever looms greatest is where you'll go.If he's the gust of wind you'll move in his direction or definitely find your way back before you stray too far. If you're led by your own desires that stand outside of his wishes you'll flow against the current and continue to struggle. Of course you can stop this by admitting your fear, dropping the expectations, voicing your concerns, and leaving the fairy tales behind. Become the slave he wants rather than the one you believed you were. He's your compass. The confusion and emotional turmoil will abate if you remember that.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

Wonderful x

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

that's the grey area between fantasy and reality. in fantasies Masters only give orders that are easy, or they only "force" us to do things we want to do anyway. =p sometimes these things are simply about expanding our ideas on what slavery is. i think, for some, it's just a natural way to feel when adjusting to that kind of control.
maybe your subconscious feels this is right for you, but your conscious mind is battling against all the things it has stored from your lifetime. so you have this complicated internal dialogue between you and yourself, and you don't 'know which side to believe.
but i agree with porcelaine (who's response was so very well written) that as long as you are motivated by your desire/fantasy, then you're bound to fail because reality and fantasy almost never line up. and some fantasies just don't work out in real life.

67204's post raises some good points, too -- did you discuss exit strategies? in a way, having the contract is a way to help you maybe pull out of the tough spots without running away -- sometimes people run away TOO SOON, rather than working on the relationship and themselves to solve the problem. but other times, they do need to run, because the situation or the person isn't right for them. unfortunately in life, every person you meet won't be right for you, and you need to take stock of what is causing this conflict, how important and necessary is it to your happiness, and work it out from there.
try talking to your Master face to face about the problems you're having -- if he wont' listen, that might be the biggest problem.

edit: and remember "listening" doesn't mean he'll do everything you want how you want it, listening only means that he takes in your viewpoints and tries to understand them. it might inform the way he does something, but if he can't listen and try to understand, it's unlikely this is a problem he's only had with you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

I want to hear his side

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss

I recently went from being a sub to my Master for about 8 months to slave. It's been about 3 weeks. It's much more intense, He controls all of me now, i am His property. There is a huge difference in the amount of control He exerts over me. i am truly owned in every way.
I love it. I found out, when I thought about it, that this was my number one fantasy of all time, was to be owned.

Yet, i am having internal struggles i feel now. For once i don't feel like obeying sometimes. Sometimes i don't want to say just " Yes Master" especially when i don't think it's fair. Sometimes i don't want Him to have the control. Sometimes i want Him to go away even. i want Him to leave me alone sometime to butt out of my life (Which is crazy because all i ever want to do usually is text Him and be with Him)....

Yet....ten minutes later i find myself at His feet.....thanking Him that He is my Owner and He is the best Master ever. Feeling His dominance over me gives me the greatest pleasure ever.

Maybe its the fact i can't escape it. i signed up for a 6 month contract. He cannot leave me and i cannot leave Him. In fact yesterday i sent Him a whole long email about how i was going to leave. I was DONE. I got emotional about something and just everything combined i decided it was too much ... it was over. His reply was to this long email: "This email is bullshit, slave is unable to break it's contract, to late to get out for 6 months, tough! I have officially deleted this and it will not be discussed again. Got it! Time to put slaves big girl panties on and act like an adult and a slave, let's get going forward. Never write another email like this to Master, crystal clear? And don't respond to this email never want to see these ramblings in any return email.
Master and Owner"

.......i mean i can't escape. And, maybe that causes conflict inside of me? That i am stuck? Just for once in my life, sometimes i don't ALWAYS feel like being submissive to Him. i feel like rebelling. i want to do what the fuck i want to do sometimes. How come i am getting these feelings of rebellion? Why am i struggling to have Him control all of me when it's all i truly want and crave?

Have any dominants experienced anything like this with their slaves? And have any slaves experienced anything like this with their Masters?
Any personal insight would be greatly appreciated!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkenchantment

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

that's the grey area between fantasy and reality. in fantasies Masters only give orders that are easy, or they only "force" us to do things we want to do anyway. =p sometimes these things are simply about expanding our ideas on what slavery is. i think, for some, it's just a natural way to feel when adjusting to that kind of control.
maybe your subconscious feels this is right for you, but your conscious mind is battling against all the things it has stored from your lifetime. so you have this complicated internal dialogue between you and yourself, and you don't 'know which side to believe.
but i agree with porcelaine (who's response was so very well written) that as long as you are motivated by your desire/fantasy, then you're bound to fail because reality and fantasy almost never line up. and some fantasies just don't work out in real life.

67204's post raises some good points, too -- did you discuss exit strategies? in a way, having the contract is a way to help you maybe pull out of the tough spots without running away -- sometimes people run away TOO SOON, rather than working on the relationship and themselves to solve the problem. but other times, they do need to run, because the situation or the person isn't right for them. unfortunately in life, every person you meet won't be right for you, and you need to take stock of what is causing this conflict, how important and necessary is it to your happiness, and work it out from there.
try talking to your Master face to face about the problems you're having -- if he wont' listen, that might be the biggest problem.

edit: and remember "listening" doesn't mean he'll do everything you want how you want it, listening only means that he takes in your viewpoints and tries to understand them. it might inform the way he does something, but if he can't listen and try to understand, it's unlikely this is a problem he's only had with you.

What she said! And also, like lally, I took a look at your profile. Ahem; you have a contract, with a Master, which is intended to be the fulfilling of all your needs; and you've previously been with him D/s for 8 months. And neither this guy, nor any of this is mentioned on your profile? Sorry, but this is not an M/s or D/s relationship as I understand it! First thing I would have done with you, even in D/s, never mind M/s, is to tell you to put that magick word 'Owned by.........' at the top of your profile! If you've not even got to that kind of stage, I'm just wondering what else has sort of got left out? Good advice given by all here; and sorry if this is some new kind of M/s system developed in the US and totally alien to all I know, but I really think you and this guy need to look seriously at what you're doing! And - erm - what precisely is he doing while you're on here posting about all this? Since you're so young, if you were mine I'd encourage you to seek out advice in such a situation. But I'd also expect acknowledgement that you were posting with my knowledge and permission, and that we were also in discussion about it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss

I recently went from being a sub to my Master for about 8 months to slave. It's been about 3 weeks. It's much more intense, He controls all of me now, i am His property. There is a huge difference in the amount of control He exerts over me. i am truly owned in every way.
I love it. I found out, when I thought about it, that this was my number one fantasy of all time, was to be owned.

Yet, i am having internal struggles i feel now. For once i don't feel like obeying sometimes. Sometimes i don't want to say just " Yes Master" especially when i don't think it's fair. Sometimes i don't want Him to have the control. Sometimes i want Him to go away even. i want Him to leave me alone sometime to butt out of my life (Which is crazy because all i ever want to do usually is text Him and be with Him)....

Yet....ten minutes later i find myself at His feet.....thanking Him that He is my Owner and He is the best Master ever. Feeling His dominance over me gives me the greatest pleasure ever.

Maybe its the fact i can't escape it. i signed up for a 6 month contract. He cannot leave me and i cannot leave Him. In fact yesterday i sent Him a whole long email about how i was going to leave. I was DONE. I got emotional about something and just everything combined i decided it was too much ... it was over. His reply was to this long email: "This email is bullshit, slave is unable to break it's contract, to late to get out for 6 months, tough! I have officially deleted this and it will not be discussed again. Got it! Time to put slaves big girl panties on and act like an adult and a slave, let's get going forward. Never write another email like this to Master, crystal clear? And don't respond to this email never want to see these ramblings in any return email.
Master and Owner"

.......i mean i can't escape. And, maybe that causes conflict inside of me? That i am stuck? Just for once in my life, sometimes i don't ALWAYS feel like being submissive to Him. i feel like rebelling. i want to do what the fuck i want to do sometimes. How come i am getting these feelings of rebellion? Why am i struggling to have Him control all of me when it's all i truly want and crave?

Have any dominants experienced anything like this with their slaves? And have any slaves experienced anything like this with their Masters?
Any personal insight would be greatly appreciated!!

The bolded parts of your post, OP, make me wonder if this isn't pure fantasy for both of you.

You've made mention in past posts your age, 19, and his, 50, and it has me wondering...why do you feel you need such control at such a young age?

Now, before everyone jumps on me for mentioning age, I do feel there's a difference between what goes on in the mind of a young adult as opposed to that of a more mature individual, generally. I have to wonder if what you're feeling is nothing more that the desire, as a young adult, to test your wings and sample what life has to offer compared to your master, who is much older, who may be hoping for someone who knows what she wants from this type of dynamic.