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LillyBoPeep -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/10/2011 7:18:56 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
I know I am going to come across as a broken record but I seriously do not understand the concept of, getting into a POWER EXCHANGE relationship then, every god damned time the one that conceded power does not agree with/like a decision that the person they conceded power to, makes.......they try to remove that power. Then proceed to wrap it all up in a bunch of pretty, I've got a brain, I am a strong woman/man, yada yada yada, WORDS! It literally boggles the mind. If you're so fucking smart and strong, pick better people to concede power to then. Otherwise STFU.
Then, all to often, the people that do the very above, you will find waxing poetic about their ideal D/M type. Usually using words like powerful, strong, smarter than me (that one slays me given what I've written in the above paragraph) yada yada yada. Which all leads me to think....."They don't want a dominant/master/mistress. They want a fucking actor!" A Doormat Dom!
It all ends up looking like one big game. A game of play acting just to get their rocks off and no real power exchange at all. And that really is one area where labels and words do really matter to ME. Because it really is, or it just IS NOT.
I couldn't agree with you more. Most submissive websites and such are written with this perspective (at least from what i've seen of them. the only sub-only site i participate in isn't and it was a difficult find. =p haha)
the "strong woman" stuff is very often a way to justify that, and it irritates me because it sets up this false reality where subs who DO want to submit and subs who DO want to follow (even to places that aren't convenient or "hot") are somehow weak, brainless, or boring.
part of the justification that a lot of people offer for brattiness, for instance, is "my Dom wants me to stay the strong, thoughtful, opinionated person i am. besides, being meek and quiet all the time is boring!"
okay, who says that being submissive and being opinionated are inherently mutually exclusive? no one! =p and who says that those who do submit are meek and quiet? no one. =p
but it's false justification like that that makes inappropriate behavior "acceptable" or that lets people excuse themselves from a lack of even trying to submit in an honest way, while still being able to call themselves submissive.
note: i'm not trying to get into a "twue" vs non-twue debate, and i also mean no offense to anyone who uses bratting in a consensual way in their relationships. but i'm sure we all know the types who boast about being "untameable" and basically issue challenges like "are you man enough to control me?"
after a while, the onus is on you to work on yourself.
power exchange isn't always about what you want, at least not in the small details.
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