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Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land of Nod - 2/11/2011 12:56:08 AM   
BitaTruble


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From another thread (necroed and with an absent OP) there were a few different interpretations on the phrase keeping a sub off-balance.


The two main interpretations seem to be:

Off-balance may be detrimental to a relationship because it equates to a dominant being inconsistent which, in turn, can lead to trust issues.

Off-balance may be helpful to a relationship because it keeps things from getting stale and keeps the ruts away.

I don't see it as inconsistent but more as unpredictable. For play time it's great. Cow tipping is supposed to be fun and being kept off balance in the land of Nod is something I signed up for and adore in the desert East of Eden but for stability, trust and longevity, it's better for us if the off-balance is kept in the realm of the scary places we like to go and in the bright light of day, I'd prefer if each of us can just count on the other and be in balance and sync with one another while we continue our walk together.

What does this phrase mean to you (if anything) and do you separate it out to mean different things in the different aspects of your over-all relationship?

Off-balance in my relationship.. I'd be walking on egg shells all the time but off-balance during a scene can create for some yummy mind fucks for me.

What say you?










< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 2/11/2011 1:10:27 AM >


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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 1:03:29 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


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Eeeew.. Ummmmm... this one all depends upon the disposition and personality of the submissive that's being tipped. :-)

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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 1:05:54 AM   
SpiritedRadiance


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Cow tipping is a very dangerous sport for people.... Most people dont realize that half of the farmers in at least pa, keep male cows in with the female cows for grazing..... They also dont understand that most cows male ore female weight over 400 pounds and can kick with enough force to shatter a bone its all in all extremely dangerous to do, even wrangling cows is best down with electricity and a lot of distance.....


I swear theres a point to all of that, I do, Its how I see being kept of balance, The danger isnt the same as being gored by a horn, or trampled to death by the very heavy beasts... but it is the end of the relationship.

Im a very simple girl, I LOVE routines, Im comfortable with them, I am at peace mind body and soul every day if I follow a normal routine. Changing that up makes me panic, it makes me upset and afraid and if its not for a good reason... resentful....


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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 1:08:35 AM   
BitaTruble


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Opps.. trying this again. Just wanted to post that input from s or d types is most welcome. :)

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 2/11/2011 1:09:34 AM >


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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 4:04:14 AM   
DesFIP


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Off balance in the relationship is like walking on eggshells, always being frantic and afraid. No thanks.

For me, I don't like it in play either. I believe him and I get frantic and afraid and want to get away from him. And it carries over to after play. You can't tell me that I can always believe you except for sometimes when you're going to lie. I either trust or I don't. So yes, I trust that he will do that horrible thing, he will break my hard limit, he really does think I'm this shameful person who he calls names. I can't go back to normal afterward. I believe that he will do it, he does think of me in this way, that what he said in play is how he really thinks of me and that the everyday stuff are the lies.


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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 4:23:24 AM   
littlekitten1


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I'm really confused about what this cow-tipping would entail. Or keeping one on their toes. How would someone do this?
Would it mean that your dom looks at you and waves his/her fingers and says in a very funny/serious voice:  "I'm keeping my eye on you!! >: (".
Or would they simply push you all the time? Or Whip you at unpredictable times?

Well I guess that would keep me on my toes. Or not. I dunno, I may be kinda dumb on this but this term confuses me x_x I mean if it means that someone lies to me, I wouldn't like it either. Someone enlighten me please x(

If it's like a known duh-term in the US then I apologize, sometimes meaning in terms fly past my head as I'm danish =) kinda.

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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 4:48:59 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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i think this depends on the people involved; for some it's comforting to settle into a routine and know what will be in store for the day, and for others, being "off balance" helps them grow.
i agree that lack of balance in the relationship would bug me. inconsistency in people is one of my pet peeves. say one thing, do another, and i'm out of there. =p
in scenes -- suuuuure -- keeping you guessing is fun. keeps play from stagnating, keeps you from getting stuck in ruts of getting out the same restraints, same flogger, same clothespins and doing the same old scene over and over again. i dont expect every play time to be some hugely momentous occaision, because that puts a lot of creativity burden on people, but at the same time, if you can guess what the person's going to do next, sometimes it's hard to stay engaged.

"keeping you on your toes" is something that is mostly about play for me.
many people use that as their motivation for bratting -- somehow it's seen as "keeping the Dom on his/her toes," and it works for some people, i guess.

for me, though, submission is something that's naturally appealing, and i think having to CONSTANTLY prove myself to someone would get to be pretty demoralizing after a while.

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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 5:57:49 AM   
Kana


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1-I'm very consistent, as in almost to the metronome level of consistent.
2-I love, as in lovelovelovelove, mental bondage for the reason you nailed, serious mind fucking and leash yanking. Keeping her held tight to my fist is just ecstasy to me...and despite her love/hate relationship with the idea, the fact that she is owned and property even at the deepest levels, and being reminded of it, rubbed against it, having it thrust, sometimes rammed into her, yeah, that is also perhaps the single most erotic thing that we do.


And yeppers, I like cow-tipping as a kid. Always did like dancing on the razors edge, even then. Hell, maybe more so, I like to think I've mellowed and matured as I've aged.

< Message edited by Kana -- 2/11/2011 6:13:15 AM >


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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 6:16:58 AM   
OttersSwim


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Will no one think of the cows?!!!!!!

From my perspective...I welcome the concept of being kept "positively" off balance in a relationship.  I am not a fan of wiggy changeable behavior, but am happy to have her tweek my nipple in the grocery store, or grope my ass as we get into a booth in a restaurant.    Love it when she reaches up and bites my neck when we are in line, or slaps my butt when we are making dinner together.  This to me, is a positive way to keeping a submissive sort of "off balance" - I never know when she is going to grope, pinch, bite, or tweek me someplace - could happen anywhere...at any time...and all I can say to that is...YUM!!! 



< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 2/11/2011 6:17:39 AM >


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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 6:27:02 AM   
Kana


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

Will no one think of the cows?!!!!!!



Oh, we thought of the cows.
*snickers*
We thought what great steaks they were gonna be one day.


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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 6:34:18 AM   
poise


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There are certain areas in a relationship that for me have to be clearly defined and unwavering.
But I also thrive in the state of anticipation and uncertainty of whats to come.
Finding that balance in between is key.


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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 7:34:46 AM   
anniezz338


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Agrees with poise. Balance in the off balance in the land of Nod.

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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 9:06:14 AM   
mbes


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Not knowing what good things are coming my way when, and being off-balance a bit when they surprise me = a very good thing.
Not knowing what is expected of me, and being off-balance because I don't know what to do, which is how I would view inconsistency = very bad thing.

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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 9:47:03 AM   
leadership527


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quote:

yummy mind fucks for me

Since Carol and I don't have "scenes" and we don't do "fantasy", any mind fuck we had would be real and therefor really bad for her/us.

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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 10:08:46 AM   
windchymes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Off balance in the relationship is like walking on eggshells, always being frantic and afraid. No thanks.




This. The very thought gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Maybe it's just my age, past 50. At this point in my life, I don't have the mental energy for instability and guessing games. I'd rather be the old cat lady that lives down the street and die alone than have an off-balance, "walking on eggshells" relationship.

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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 2:44:38 PM   
IronBear


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Two points:

  1. Before trying Cow Tipping, do a year on the professional Bull Riding Circuit. After all Bulls are only harmless boy cows aren't they??????
  2. I believed on the original thread as I do here, we are referring to SLEEP DEPRIVATION.  This is something I do and will not do within a formal relationship. It can lead to psychosis. I will however, and have used it as a legitimate in interrogations (RL not RP).


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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 2:48:49 PM   
LillyBoPeep


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i didnt read the original thread -- care to link to it?
nothing in this one has anything to do with sleep deprivation, does it?

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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 2:55:45 PM   
IronBear


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I'll hunt for it, but it does have a great  deal to do with sleep deprivation as "Keeping off balance" is just one of many terms used when discussing various forms of sleep deprivation. 

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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 3:16:28 PM   
oceanwynds2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes




Maybe it's just my age, past 50. At this point in my life, I don't have the mental energy for instability and guessing games. I'd rather be the old cat lady that lives down the street and die alone than have an off-balance, "walking on eggshells" relationship.


This for me as well

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RE: Cow Tipping or keeping subs off balance in the land... - 2/11/2011 3:27:00 PM   
IronBear


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

i didnt read the original thread -- care to link to it?
nothing in this one has anything to do with sleep deprivation, does it?



Ask a Master >> 24/7 TPE Masters: What Do You Do With Your Slave?

quote:

I know some answers will be a little "general", as much of the M/s relationship is as much mental/emotional as physical, but even general descriptions about how you keep your slave obedient or "off-balance" in order to maintain control etc., would always be a welcomed response. Of course, what you have them do/do with them physically as well.



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