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When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 12:21:06 AM   
KeepMeUnderneath


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Does it make you a bad submissive if she annoys the crap out of you or is that what it's supposed to be all about?
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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 12:24:03 AM   
myotherself


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Why would you want to serve someone you hate? Unless that's your kink...

More than likely it means you aren't suited and should find someone who doesn't irritate the crap out of you.

Just like any other relationship.

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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 12:39:02 AM   
KeepMeUnderneath


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hrmmmm ok.   I'm not irritated by anyone as yet, I just had this mental, flash across my head of me cleaning the floor and being really pissed off about it to the point where I tell her to jam it up her, @$$ and F**k off.  But then I had to stop and ask myself "Well isn't that what it's all about? her getting pleasure from watching me suffer?"  ..  I'm kind of, 'untrained'.  I'm a wild one so to speak.  Looking to be tamed.  But I still kinda have this, masculine pride thing deeply seeded in me where by getting my nuts cut off by a women isn't an option.  I know that may be viewed as the wrong mentality, but I can't see myself being the, traditional interpretation of a submissive

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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 12:41:44 AM   
mythoclastic


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If you're that unhappy, maybe you should find a new mistress.

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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 12:46:30 AM   
Tantriqu


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If you use words like 'hate', I'm thinking twitchy switchy. It can also be a cultural thang, if you're mediterranean.
Talk it over with her, 'cuz you're a volcano right now.
If you haven't come [hah!] to terms with being submissive, it's time to stop and re-evaluate before either of you get hurt, physically and otherwise.

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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 1:00:27 AM   
KeepMeUnderneath


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hahaha physically?  Ok I study martial arts but I'm not going to fly kick her in the head.  I have a lot of patience and restraint.  And yes I am somewhat, 'mediterranean'. But, I don't understand how that plays a part. 

I don't have a mistress as yet, possibly because I'm a little shit and hard to control, so, I'm not saying I'm un happy or anything.  I'm just saying I had this quick, mental flash of me on my knees scrubbing a floor and it really made me think about the kind of person I am. 

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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 1:46:31 AM   
myotherself


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath

, but I can't see myself being the, traditional interpretation of a submissive


There is no traditional interpretation of a submissive. There are just relationships with different kinds of people involved on both sides of the kneel.

I'm also opinionated, "alpha" at work and take no shit from anyone. But the chemistry I have with Master makes it impossible for me not to want to kneel before him and make him happy.

I'm his idea of what a slave should be, but I bet I'm some other master's nightmare. I don't care about anyone else's idea of what a sub or slave should be - what matters is that I'm making MY Master happy.




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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 2:38:46 AM   
KeepMeUnderneath


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Thats what I'm after.  I just thought alot of mistresses are afraid of that type.  The type they have to work on. 

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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 2:42:58 AM   
myotherself


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beware of generalisations...they're generally wrong

I know quite a number of mistresses in real life and online, and each one expects something different from their sub/slave. The trick is finding the one who is the right fit for you.

Don't expect it to happen overnight though - it's taken me years to find the man who inspires me to kneel for him!

Good luck

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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 2:52:01 AM   
CynthiaWVirginia


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath

hrmmmm ok.   I'm not irritated by anyone as yet, I just had this mental, flash across my head of me cleaning the floor and being really pissed off about it to the point where I tell her to jam it up her, @$$ and F**k off.  But then I had to stop and ask myself "Well isn't that what it's all about? her getting pleasure from watching me suffer?"  ..  I'm kind of, 'untrained'.  I'm a wild one so to speak.  Looking to be tamed.  But I still kinda have this, masculine pride thing deeply seeded in me where by getting my nuts cut off by a women isn't an option.  I know that may be viewed as the wrong mentality, but I can't see myself being the, traditional interpretation of a submissive


So you are new to this and having submissive feelings is still causing you problems, and you sometimes worry that you will be in a relationship that makes you explode in rage.  Good to hear that you are thinking about the things that bother you.

I am still trying to understand why cleaning a floor is "having your nuts cut off".  Everyone has to clean floors, right?  If you live all by yourself and cannot afford a maid...you do have to clean them yourself.  Since when does having a woman in your life mean that all housework becomes "women's work"?  Something that is beneath you and humiliating.

Unless you are blindfolded and hobbled, and after being locked in a male chastity device for several weeks...have to crawl on the floor...over scattered cat litter, rice, or rock salt...to pat every inch of that apartment's floor for the key...I cannot understand the concept of "her getting pleasure from watching me suffer?"  The dream was about a simple floor cleaning...or in your dream, were you dressed as a sissy maid and...being recorded by some small electronic device you couldn't see, being emotionally blackmailed?  The dream sounds kind of boring to me otherwise, and I cannot see where someone would get pleasure from it or feel emasculated. 

Many males would not have lasted a day in my father's home, where he considered himself master of the house.  Mops?  We had no mops.  He preferred us to be down on our hands and knees with a scrub brush, bucket of soapy water and a rag.  Where the floors touched the baseboards, and in the corners...an old toothbrush was used.  He inspected afterward, and the work had to be perfect or else.  If vanilla women and children can learn to do work exactly as the traditional "dominant of the house" demands, why would it be so difficult and angsty for a submissive?

In every relationship, there can be moments of hate.  Hopefully they do not last long.  If you find yourself in a relationship where you feel angry and resentful, and even hatred a lot of the time then this either needs to be talked over and fixed, or else it is time to move on. 

I wonder how do you see "the traditional interpretation of a submissive".  How was this view of yours forged...through watching BDSM porn, or by seeing other submissive men who are in happy relationships with their dominant women? 

Not all of us want some lowly worm.  Having a tiger or knight...who is attentive and gentlemanly...to focus on (and sometimes torture) is a lot sweeter.

Instead of just thinking about who you are, which is a good thing in itself, also think about what you want from a relationship.  Are you ready to be in a female led relationship where you are something of a wife, or do you want to keep submissive feelings in the bedroom...or limit yourself to kinky play? 

Know yourself, then look for a compatible partner.

I would not want to have someone hiding his true self from me, allowing hatred to build...because he was trying to force himself to fit some preconceived notion of a proper submissive. 

I liked reading your profile, you sound fun.

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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 3:58:03 AM   
KeepMeUnderneath


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Ok, you written a hell of a lot so, please bare with me in my huge ass reply.

The anger is not an issue.  I'm not going to explode in rage.  If I get upset I may have an arguement but thats all.  I beleive in argueing.  I don't particularly enjoy it but I do think it brings people closer.

The thought of cleaning the floor isn't the focal point of this.  I can clean a floor.  I'm not useless.  It's the reasoning behind cleaning it.  If her purpose is to emasculate me, then no thats not what I want. 
What I want is as you said.  I am the "knight in shining armour" kind of guy.  I was raised on, Superman and super heroes and the knights and all that and thats who I aspire to be.  A man of action who can protect my mistress or princess or whatever she deems to call herself.  I was also raised on the 3 stooges, so I want to be a man who can make her laugh.  However, these are not, sissy men. In BDSM porn, the men are not sissy men.  They are porn stars paid to get their dicks out and take a beating.  The reason I get the impression these so called 'true subs' are a bunch of pussies is because that's what a lot proudly present themselves as.  As if it's cool to be worthless.  Now, I'm new to this, so, I can't say what's 'real' and what's not, but, if that's being a sub, then count me out.

I know what I want.  I want the opposite of what I came from.  I want a women. A womenly, women.  A powerful women who can inspire me to be the best man I can be. She doesn't need to be a bitch with a whip to be that.  But she has to have real power.  Not be an attention whore looking for someone to love her because she never put in the effort to be the best she can be.  This place, is a gold mine for desperate women because all they need to do is 'act' tough.  Thats what I came from.  A women who 'acted' tough.  Oh and of course many many orgasms.  Can't forget that just kidding.

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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 4:06:45 AM   
DarkSteven


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So let's see if I have this right.  You are new to the lifestyle and have never served. You're running through hypothetical situations in your head and you find that the thought of some kinds of service anger you.  Is that it?

I'd suggest finding a local group.  Observe the interactions and see how you feel about them.

And if it does come down to you wanting a woman who will Domme you in the bedroom and nowhere else, don't lose hope.  They're out there.



_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 4:12:09 AM   
KeepMeUnderneath


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I can't interact locally

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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 4:14:04 AM   
ArizonaBossMan


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SPANK the mistress! they are all bad. Or are they all good and deserve a nice spank spank? I think the latter!

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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 4:24:27 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

I know what I want. I want the opposite of what I came from.
Herein lies the crux of your post, in my opinion, and this is a conflict most of us have had to deal with in some form or another.

Some sadistic men have been raised never to hit a woman. Yet for many their pleasure, and the pleasure of their submissive partner, comes from administering pain.

Dominant women may have been raised in an environment where their mother was subservient to their father.

Submissive women have been taught that in order to succeed, dominance is a must and submission equates to weakness. And the same with submissive men as well.

The conflict is huge.

I have no answers for you as to how to resolve your issues. Each of us has had to do so in our own way and in our own time. But one thing i will tell you is submission is not for the weak. It takes a very strong character to submit, as well as a strong sense of self to ignore the societal norm and follow your heart.

I sense the anger in your posts is not directed toward the mistress, but rather toward yourself for the battle of "where you came from" clashing with who you really are. Whereas this is not unusual, i urge you to resolve this anger before you involve yourself in a BDSM relationship.


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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 4:24:56 AM   
KeepMeUnderneath


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ahah.  .. .. take a seat hardon

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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 4:25:37 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ArizonaBossMan

SPANK the mistress! they are all bad. Or are they all good and deserve a nice spank spank? I think the latter!
was this supposed to be helpful?


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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 4:28:03 AM   
DarkSteven


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ArizonaBossMan

SPANK the mistress! they are all bad. Or are they all good and deserve a nice spank spank? I think the latter!


Sounds like CerVeza/El Sabio has another username.  Throw in a few sentences calling Obama "dear leader" and we'll confirm you've worn through yet another sock.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 4:34:34 AM   
KeepMeUnderneath


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I agree with what you are saying.  I come from a place where, you never hit a women and when a women hits you, you take it like a man.  But I have no anger.  Infact the opposite.  My own emotional strength is stronger than anyone I have ever known.  In bad, I find good.  I'm a "light at the end of the tunnel" kind of guy and so I'm not angry about my past or anything.  I don't have any anger towards any mistresses or subs.  I don't think all submissive men are weak, infact I DO think the reverse and agree completely that the strongest men will reveal their weakness and battle through the attacks on it in order to gain more strength.  But there is a difference between that and being a pervert.

It is the perverted kind of submissive men who disgust me.  But, they have a right to be that if that's who they are.  It's just not who I am.  Sexual satisfaction plays a huge part of this BDSM world for me, but that satisfaction only comes from something deeper. 

I think that if there is some anger there, maybe one that I can't even recognise, then it is caused from not getting what I want, which is a women who can fulfil me in the ways I need. One whom will allow me to be the best I can be for her and bring out the best in me and whom I can be happy with serving as a man or slave or submissive or whatever.  I'm after more than formalities.  I'm after the greatest women in the world and she is after me.  She knows it.  I know it, we just have to cross pathes.  When we do, we will clash.  Mark my words there will be sparks.  However, the world will be a better place for us having come together.  That's what is important to me, and if she is reading this, she will be agreeing that that's what is important for her.

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RE: When you hate your mistress. - 2/12/2011 5:04:42 AM   
TotalDiscipline


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quote:

When you hate your mistress.


leave

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