CynthiaWVirginia
Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath
hrmmmm ok. I'm not irritated by anyone as yet, I just had this mental, flash across my head of me cleaning the floor and being really pissed off about it to the point where I tell her to jam it up her, @$$ and F**k off. But then I had to stop and ask myself "Well isn't that what it's all about? her getting pleasure from watching me suffer?" .. I'm kind of, 'untrained'. I'm a wild one so to speak. Looking to be tamed. But I still kinda have this, masculine pride thing deeply seeded in me where by getting my nuts cut off by a women isn't an option. I know that may be viewed as the wrong mentality, but I can't see myself being the, traditional interpretation of a submissive
So you are new to this and having submissive feelings is still causing you problems, and you sometimes worry that you will be in a relationship that makes you explode in rage. Good to hear that you are thinking about the things that bother you.
I am still trying to understand why cleaning a floor is "having your nuts cut off". Everyone has to clean floors, right? If you live all by yourself and cannot afford a maid...you do have to clean them yourself. Since when does having a woman in your life mean that all housework becomes "women's work"? Something that is beneath you and humiliating.
Unless you are blindfolded and hobbled, and after being locked in a male chastity device for several weeks...have to crawl on the floor...over scattered cat litter, rice, or rock salt...to pat every inch of that apartment's floor for the key...I cannot understand the concept of "her getting pleasure from watching me suffer?" The dream was about a simple floor cleaning...or in your dream, were you dressed as a sissy maid and...being recorded by some small electronic device you couldn't see, being emotionally blackmailed? The dream sounds kind of boring to me otherwise, and I cannot see where someone would get pleasure from it or feel emasculated.
Many males would not have lasted a day in my father's home, where he considered himself master of the house. Mops? We had no mops. He preferred us to be down on our hands and knees with a scrub brush, bucket of soapy water and a rag. Where the floors touched the baseboards, and in the corners...an old toothbrush was used. He inspected afterward, and the work had to be perfect or else. If vanilla women and children can learn to do work exactly as the traditional "dominant of the house" demands, why would it be so difficult and angsty for a submissive?
In every relationship, there can be moments of hate. Hopefully they do not last long. If you find yourself in a relationship where you feel angry and resentful, and even hatred a lot of the time then this either needs to be talked over and fixed, or else it is time to move on.
I wonder how do you see "the traditional interpretation of a submissive". How was this view of yours forged...through watching BDSM porn, or by seeing other submissive men who are in happy relationships with their dominant women?
Not all of us want some lowly worm. Having a tiger or knight...who is attentive and gentlemanly...to focus on (and sometimes torture) is a lot sweeter.
Instead of just thinking about who you are, which is a good thing in itself, also think about what you want from a relationship. Are you ready to be in a female led relationship where you are something of a wife, or do you want to keep submissive feelings in the bedroom...or limit yourself to kinky play?
Know yourself, then look for a compatible partner.
I would not want to have someone hiding his true self from me, allowing hatred to build...because he was trying to force himself to fit some preconceived notion of a proper submissive.
I liked reading your profile, you sound fun.
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When you hate your mistress. - 
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just kidding. 
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