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[What I'm going to ask you to do now is take the next step.  You know that porn isn't real.  How are you determining what is real on the internet?  The person who responds to this thread may not have any more experience than you do.  Yet, they are writing their fantasy (worthless worm, etc) and you're reading it and thinking that's how it goes.  So, what I'm asking you here is how do you know what you're reading is accurate?  For that matter, how do you know that I am who I say I am?  I might just be some guy from Jersey.

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For that matter, how do you know that I am who I say I am?  I might just be some guy from Jersey.

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ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
Now that would be quite a surprise.

OP- I hope that you read what clip wrote.

OK.  I admit it would be harder to pull that off for the people who have seen Me naked. 

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ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath

LadyPact, you're going to make me have to take out insurance on my fingers for the amount you make me right.  But before I continue, thank you for offering stimulating conversation.  I haven't been so, interested in peoples thoughts online in so long and that goes for everyone who has responded.  Now!  To get to your response.

To set the record straight, of course if I had a mistress and I felt feelings of resentfulness coming on and getting stronger, I would leave.  That's a given.  I may be stupid but I'm an impulsive idiot so if I don't like something I just, don't go for it. 

It depends how smart you are.  I think anyone on the internet who would pretend to be someone else would either do it so bad it was noticeable or so well that it's scary.   A guy from Jersey would probably post a picture of a drop dead gorgeous girl and write all hot and horny shit because he knows it would get a response. But, you can kind of tell when some guy is beating his own dick over a fantasy he is writing.  On some forums they even have a kind of "Post your fantasy here" section.  That's fine.  Guys and girls will post them, I have no objection to it.  Hell sometimes their fantasies even turn me on.  But, it's how some people respond to things and how they interact.  The way people use words on the internet is a bit like how people dress in reality.  Some people use words in a way that dresses them as some kind of, fashion catastrophe.

I don't know you.  I don't know anyone or anything here. Which is partially why I wouldn't make myself public here. Whilst there is a security in knowing a community in these situations face to face, I first have to establish trust with people. Names, not forum names. Contact and private discussions.  Insight.

Again you are correct when you said can't often means won't.  I "won't" go to a munch because the people there may use the knowledge of my indulgences against me.  That community may be theres.  If the knowledge came out for them it may not do any damage for them, however I am a member of many communities.  Many which don't understand.  Many which are un-open to new ideas and would think of me as just some kinky pervert, so, I can't risk it. 

As for the not wanting to learn.  I do enjoy learning about other peoples stories.  Just not from books.  I'm more of a TV kind of guy, but at the same time, I would much rather a peice of  fictional reading or television than non fiction because fiction is the ethos of creation.  Reality may in itself only be the fiction of something or someone greater than what we can comprehend.

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ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath

To set the record straight, of course if I had a mistress and I felt feelings of resentfulness coming on and getting stronger, I would leave.  That's a given.  I may be stupid but I'm an impulsive idiot so if I don't like something I just, don't go for it. 

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ORIGINAL: Ishtarr

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ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath

Is feeling that frustration part of being submissive?  If she is enjoying watching you get frustrated at her denials, and you are supposed to worship her, then theoretically wouldn't watching her be happy at your misfortune make you happy?  Therefore, how can you be frustrated if you are happy?  It's such a twisty, turney road with no correct answer.  However other peoples insights into these situations can help me develop my own because they offer different perspectives.  Sometimes you need to look from the other pair of stilletto's to understand enough to make up your own mind.  Thank you for your input also. It was very helpful.

Yes, that feeling of frustration is part of being submissive, but it's a completely different feeling than what you had with your previous girlfriend.

In situations where I was actively being dominated, and was made to perform tasks of servitude, my reaction was one of frustration, horniness, longing, adoration, fear, more horniness, more frustration, and acceptance.
In those situations, I actually felt appreciated, and like I was getting a fair deal, because even though the dominant's role in all this was very different than mine... sometimes to the point that his role was nothing more than sitting on the couch and drinking a beer with his feet up... their role as a dominant was still being fulfilled, because as a general rule, I was in a submissive mindset in the relationship.

It's really hard to describe how exactly it worked, other than that I felt actively dominated.

In the relationship where I felt used, there was no such feeling of equal trade, and both parties fulfilling their part/roles.

It felt like I had this list of things expected of me, out of nowhere, for no reason whatsoever... and it was my complete responsibility to make sure I fulfilled this wish list perfectly.
If I failed, I was nagged at, or yelled at, or made to feel guilty about not being a "real" slave.
At the same time, the so called dominant made no effort at all to actually... euhm... you know... dominate me... and their relationship with me extended only to the point of them having a wish list of demands for me, while offering absolutely nothing at all in return...
In that situation I felt used and resentful... not so much frustrated.

So yes, you can feel frustrated while feeling submissive, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. In my opinion frustration doesn't become a bad thing in a D/s relationship until/unless it turns into resentfulness for feeling like you're being treated unfairly as a human being.

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ORIGINAL: osf

passive v active dominance

not only does he have to have expectations of you but he has to actively engage you in fulfilling them

d/s m/s is a team sport

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ORIGINAL: osf



passive v active dominance

not only does he have to have expectations of you but he has to actively engage you in fulfilling them

d/s m/s is a team sport