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Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/12/2011 8:22:33 PM   
blkswitch


Posts: 45
Joined: 5/18/2008
Status: offline 		I got a hit on my profile from a young man in California, last night.

He said he wanted a domme and is very interested in exploring the lifestyle.

Okay, so, I asked him to tell me exactly what his idea of "everything" is.

He couldn't explain.

WTF is that all about?

Then when I became more demanding and asked  him further questions, he says, BRB
and of course he NEVER came back on the YIM.

So, WTF???

Dominant or did he just want pussy near him?

I'm sure you subs can respond to that.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/12/2011 9:28:11 PM   
Nanako


Posts: 222
Joined: 2/7/2011
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline 		maybe he's just so inexperienced that he has no idea at all.
It sounds like you scared him away

(in reply to blkswitch)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/12/2011 9:32:16 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Yes, they are clueless. They have vague porn-fuelled desires that they can't quantify, and figure that dominant women must intuitively KNOW what they want.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Nanako)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/12/2011 9:47:37 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Well, lets see. We are only hearing your take on that hit on your profile last night and the whole situation and yet you are saying a few things that are obvious to me. One, he hit on your profile last night and you... you... jumped into messenger with him before you had asked a few things, enough to assure yourself in email, that he would actually be someone you wanted to talk to. That isn't his fault. If you expect them to be able to quickly tell you what they want, have the picture you do and so little in your profile... it wouldn't be too hard to assume that you quickly, just might get into demanding a bit of the quick domina action that doesn't require thinking on their part.

Complaining about it on the message boards also indicates a few things to me. You seek attention, demand to get what you want, without actually being clear about what you want and then get upset because you didn't get it. You are sending mixed messages and with a hard cock and a need so great, you cannot expect a man to think and communicate for you, when he may be having a hard enough time thinking for himself. I would also recommend not taking it so seriously that you must come complain about it, further sending those unwritten messages to many now... and just calm down, look at yourself.. not in the mirror because we know you will get stuck admiring yourself... and actually look at how you are presenting yourself.

We are reading you... despite your slight profile... we are reading you loud and clear. Start with you... then deal with the masses, once you have dealt with yourself.


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/13/2011 4:20:03 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		You live in Missouri and are interested in real life meetings. So why would you rake the time to intimidate some poor guy from California?

All he did was view your profile. You contacted him and confused him. Then you post here about it.

What's your point? That newbies don't understand how #/s works?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/13/2011 6:24:42 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		Well, you didn't provide specifics on what was said, so this is just a guess but.....

I think he decided he wasn't interested in you and moved on. Maybe you said something that set off a red flag for him and he decided you were not worth the time. Maybe he was finished wanking. I doubt we will ever know. Now the question remains - what will your response be. Will you chalk it up to the internet or will you whine about it on CM?


_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to blkswitch)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/13/2011 6:47:53 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blkswitch

I got a hit on my profile from a young man in California, last night.

He said he wanted a domme and is very interested in exploring the lifestyle.

Okay, so, I asked him to tell me exactly what his idea of "everything" is.

He couldn't explain.

WTF is that all about?

Dominant or did he just want pussy near him?

I'm sure you subs can respond to that.



Well, his telling you he wished to explore "the lifestyle" is a pretty big clue that he is probably very inexperienced.
I have no idea the of the context from which you pulled "everything" from. It seems as though it might be related to something he might have said, but I have no knowledge of that.

When I was new to CM, I had no idea of what I wanted.
Even after having had a pretty wonderful regular play parter, I still didn't really have that defined.
It wasn't until I had another play partner and I realised I wanted him to become more than that, that any type of defining was done...and he was very patient in the process. He is now my Master.

Had the young man in question come to you with a laundry list of what he wanted (and didn't want), you likely would have been quite unhappy with his being so demanding.

So, in my humble opinion, (by your own admission), you had an attitude about him, and pushed him hard... and did in fact scare him away.
Good for him for knowing that he would be wasting his time with you.
You would feel better had he said "hey, I'm not interested in continuing this discussion.", but at that point he didn't "owe" you anything.

Sometimes when you play with your 'toys' too hard, you will break them. Just ask any cat who has played with a mouse to the point where it just isn't fun anymore.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to blkswitch)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/13/2011 7:17:43 AM   
Nanako


Posts: 222
Joined: 2/7/2011
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Complaining about it on the message boards also indicates a few things to me. You seek attention, demand to get what you want, without actually being clear about what you want and then get upset because you didn't get it. You are sending mixed messages and with a hard cock and a need so great, you cannot expect a man to think and communicate for you, when he may be having a hard enough time thinking for himself. I would also recommend not taking it so seriously that you must come complain about it, further sending those unwritten messages to many now... and just calm down, look at yourself.. not in the mirror because we know you will get stuck admiring yourself... and actually look at how you are presenting yourself.

We are reading you... despite your slight profile... we are reading you loud and clear. Start with you... then deal with the masses, once you have dealt with yourself.



This seems quite mean ;-;

A lot of people will come to the forums for validation, not attention. The people who hang around here are generally sane and sorted, and sometimes we need the influence of people who aren't clueless idiots to keep us grounded and stop us feeling alone.

Feeling like you're the only intelligent person in the world is a very lonely experience, and getting ineptly hit on regularly is a fast track way to suffer those feelings.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/13/2011 7:21:52 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nanako


This seems quite mean ;-;

A lot of people will come to the forums for validation, not attention. The people who hang around here are generally sane and sorted, and sometimes we need the influence of people who aren't clueless idiots to keep us grounded and stop us feeling alone.

Feeling like you're the only intelligent person in the world is a very lonely experience, and getting ineptly hit on regularly is a fast track way to suffer those feelings.



Developing empathy and compassion towards others can be a pretty good antidote for feeling as though you are somehow superior, and are therefore automatically isolated.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to Nanako)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/13/2011 8:47:39 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blkswitch

I got a hit on my profile from a young man in California, last night.

He said he wanted a domme and is very interested in exploring the lifestyle.

Okay, so, I asked him to tell me exactly what his idea of "everything" is.

He couldn't explain.

WTF is that all about?

Then when I became more demanding and asked  him further questions, he says, BRB
and of course he NEVER came back on the YIM.

So, WTF???

Dominant or did he just want pussy near him?

I'm sure you subs can respond to that.



His mom called him to take out the trash.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to blkswitch)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/13/2011 9:08:11 AM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		We are missing a lot of the specifics on this so its really hard to guess. There are many possible reasons. But I am going to add 1 other possible reason.

The OP states a young man. She did not state his experience. If that young man was a newbie to the BDSM scene then he very well might not know how to express himself. I speak from my own experience of getting into BDSM. I knew I liked it, I knew it turned me on but I did not know why I liked it. It took me a while to figure out why I like it and what I was really seeking and to be able to verbalize it. So a newbie might need a little coaxing to get that out of them.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/13/2011 10:00:42 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Nanako, you may see what I said as mean, but I see it as saying it how I see it and after her first thread I read, I think what I do and said what I did. I would say it again. I based everything I said on something she had said. If I was mean in others opinion, I will consider that and might even care what some might think, but in this case, I'm not sure I would agree. My response was an honest response to someone being mean and nasty to others and I don't tend to kiss the ass or be real compassionate towards people who have introduced themselves the way the op has.

I'm not sure that I understand your comments about being intelligently superior, the relation to how much someone is getting hit on and being isolated. I don't want to project here, so maybe you can be a bit more specific. There are times I will project a bit and others when I will want a bit more information so that I am not assuming far too much and responding from that place.






_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to mummyman321)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/13/2011 10:20:52 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		i have to agree with Lockit.
honestly, it sounds like (based only on the words here on this OP) that you were just being bitchy and scared him away. being bitchy and being Dominant aren't the same thing in the least.
sometimes new people don't know how to approach someone, they don't know what they want, they can't spell out specifics to a seasoned veteran because they don't KNOW the specifics.
what behavior are you filing under "being demanding?" "demanding," to me, usually means barking out orders, being insistent, pressuring someone -- those are things that often bug people about others, not just Dominants. and the best Ds, in my experience, have not needed to be demanding to get what they want.Anyone can make demands; children and hijackers do all the time. Dominance is different.


< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 2/13/2011 10:21:23 AM >

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/13/2011 11:44:48 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nanako

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Complaining about it on the message boards also indicates a few things to me. You seek attention, demand to get what you want, without actually being clear about what you want and then get upset because you didn't get it. You are sending mixed messages and with a hard cock and a need so great, you cannot expect a man to think and communicate for you, when he may be having a hard enough time thinking for himself. I would also recommend not taking it so seriously that you must come complain about it, further sending those unwritten messages to many now... and just calm down, look at yourself.. not in the mirror because we know you will get stuck admiring yourself... and actually look at how you are presenting yourself.

We are reading you... despite your slight profile... we are reading you loud and clear. Start with you... then deal with the masses, once you have dealt with yourself.



This seems quite mean ;-;

A lot of people will come to the forums for validation, not attention. The people who hang around here are generally sane and sorted, and sometimes we need the influence of people who aren't clueless idiots to keep us grounded and stop us feeling alone.

Feeling like you're the only intelligent person in the world is a very lonely experience, and getting ineptly hit on regularly is a fast track way to suffer those feelings.



After reading the OP's other thread, this was not mean enough. Really.

(in reply to Nanako)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/13/2011 1:05:47 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Ok. And? Would you like lil ol' submissive me to guard your mailbox for you?

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to blkswitch)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/13/2011 1:13:32 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'm actually pretty sure I don't want "dominant women"... or at least not "BDSM dom" women. Near as I can tell, a part of what that means is to come whining to the boards every time someone, somewhere on the internet does something you don't approve of. I prefer to have people around me who can take tiny little bits of adversity in stride.

Then, of course, is the aspect of -- I also prefer the people around me to have some basic idea how humans work. Again, I have to assume based upon all too many of the posts I read here that this is not a trait common to "dommes".

So yeah, I think I'll take a pass.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to blkswitch)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/13/2011 1:15:12 PM   
Jaybeee


Posts: 532
Joined: 2/2/2010
Status: offline 		Dominant over everything and everyone EXCEPT me, yeah.

_____________________________

Mastery in motion since 2005

Women of the world, submit!

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/13/2011 1:29:52 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		[Waiting to retort or giggle]

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/13/2011 2:31:42 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		I'm absolutely sure I don't

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Are you sure you want a Dominant woman? - 2/14/2011 1:04:20 AM   
MissEmery


Posts: 13
Joined: 2/5/2011
Status: offline 		Consistent TROLL

(in reply to blkswitch)
Profile   Post #: 20
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