RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

CarpeComa -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/20/2011 10:19:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

The gender bias on this subject is rather intriguing. The OP is too young to be considered master worthy but a woman in his position is rarely questioned regarding her desire for submission or slavery. Although their life experiences may vary, she's at the same age point as her male counterpart. But we rarely bat an eye in protest.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



Indeed. While this bias can be defended by saying the master/dom has all this responsibility. The reality is that life isn't *that* difficult and we (collectively) tend to make the assumption that a woman suddenly loses all ability to think for herself when she submits. Which is rather denigrating to women when you think about it. Really, no 'self mastery' is needed to be a dominant beyond behaving like a responsible adult. That degree of self mastery will elude many people for their entire lives, so it's not trivial. It is also nothing that can't be accomplished by the age of majority. Yes, there is more that can be obtained that will have benefits, but just being a responsible adult will do just fine.

Very young dominant women do get a little bit of flack, but nowhere near that of men. The supply/demand imbalance there plays a huge role in that. There is definitely a general perception of women being more 'mature' than men at any given age. It would be interesting to develop an objective test for maturity and see if that perception holds. On the porn side of things, immaturity in dominant women is frequently not viewed as a negative. Women are allowed to be bitchy, rude, temperamental, self-absorbed brats and it's frequently considered a good thing. While porn isn't reality, the impulses behind it are the underpinnings of a lot of behavior outside of it.



porcelaine -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/20/2011 11:44:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nanako

I don't feel that's a gender bias. It's a role bias (or perhaps it's both, which doesn't give meaningful information).


Thank you Nanako and sweetsub,

I misspoke and meant to say role. Sheesh! :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarpeComa

Indeed. While this bias can be defended by saying the master/dom has all this responsibility. The reality is that life isn't *that* difficult and we (collectively) tend to make the assumption that a woman suddenly loses all ability to think for herself when she submits.


Exactly. And from where I sit I can't say that the submissive women I've encountered of the same age range are anymore advance than their male cousins. Seriously.

quote:

On the porn side of things, immaturity in dominant women is frequently not viewed as a negative. Women are allowed to be bitchy, rude, temperamental, self-absorbed brats and it's frequently considered a good thing. While porn isn't reality, the impulses behind it are the underpinnings of a lot of behavior outside of it.


I see very little admonishment towards women as you've noted but it's a different apple for the male dominant that behaves the same. However, I find the reverse is true on the submissive end. The women will eagerly take one another to task where I haven't observed the same amongst the men.

Thank you for your insight.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



RCdc -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 2:08:32 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

All good points. OP, I think it would be better to put an age range on your profile rather than just calling your preference "older." And I am another one that wonders how a 21-yr old can possibly have mastered life.

~sweetsub~


Whereas a +40 year old automatically has? I never understand that logic.
Personally, I believe people would find life so much easier, more positive and brighter if they could get over this whole 'you cannot master others until you master yourself' fallacy.



porcelaine -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 6:00:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

Whereas a +40 year old automatically has? I never understand that logic.
Personally, I believe people would find life so much easier, more positive and brighter if they could get over this whole 'you cannot master others until you master yourself' fallacy.


Greetings,

The youngsters can't catch a break. They're too young to master and viewed with disdain when older dominants bypass more experienced women in their favor. It's a hard knock life.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



RCdc -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 6:18:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

Whereas a +40 year old automatically has? I never understand that logic.
Personally, I believe people would find life so much easier, more positive and brighter if they could get over this whole 'you cannot master others until you master yourself' fallacy.


Greetings,

The youngsters can't catch a break. They're too young to master and viewed with disdain when older dominants bypass more experienced women in their favor. It's a hard knock life.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



I know you are correct gorgeousone... ah, it wasn't like this in my day, youngsters don't know they have it so good! (said firmly tongue in cheek - might as well go the whole hog and get that fallacy out of the way too[;)])



IronBear -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 6:25:45 AM)

Following this trend, Age=Maturity=Experience? For pity sake please don't throw that piece of maths at any of the military.

Top Gun Pilots, Pilots of tactical fighter and fighter/bombers are burned out at roughly 25 with the rank of Colonel Squadron Leader). It takes Youth, Immaturity & Inexperience? I think not. I can remember an 20 year old fresh out of Fort Brag promoted (due to prior experience and training) to the rank of Captain of the Special Forces headed to 'Nam for a 5 year stint. Sure he was green, young, inexperienced, and immature. Combat made him grow up when he had to write to the folks of the troopers who were killed. Yep certainly the formula of Age=Maturity=Experience must work mustn't it??????



Selectivelight -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 6:33:32 AM)

Advice from someone nearly as young as you - Take JohnWarren's advice. He's exactly right.

Learn. Learn everything you can. Learn from -everyone-, even if all you can get from someone is what not to do. Forget everything you think you know right now, because unless it comes with practical experience it isn't worth the braincell it occupies.

Forget titles and worldly position. You don't get that, it gets given to you. You may do everything in the world to earn it, but at the end of the day, who knights himself?

Oh, and one last thing -  Nothing wrong with having a type, but don't make someone feel like that's all they are to you.



porcelaine -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 6:34:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

I know you are correct gorgeousone... ah, it wasn't like this in my day, youngsters don't know they have it so good! (said firmly tongue in cheek - might as well go the whole hog and get that fallacy out of the way too[;)])


darkling,

All of the delightful whippersnappers have been spoken for. *sniffles*

But this older woman has no problem with younger men. As a matter of fact, some are pretty friggin' hot! [:D]

Namaste,

~porcelaine



sirsholly -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 3:08:19 PM)

Porcelaine----> [image]http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/rockingchair1.gif[/image]


theDark------> [image]http://www.millan.net/minimations/toolminis/people_grammy.gif[/image]






leadership527 -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 3:19:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Selectivelight
Forget titles and worldly position. You don't get that, it gets given to you. You may do everything in the world to earn it, but at the end of the day, who knights himself?

Well DAMN! Doesn't that just answer a whole slew of questions that typically come up here on CM.

One of the most condensed pieces of wisdom I've ever read here. Thanks for saying it.



TSsubmissive -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 3:48:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

Whereas a +40 year old automatically has? I never understand that logic.
Personally, I believe people would find life so much easier, more positive and brighter if they could get over this whole 'you cannot master others until you master yourself' fallacy.



Where's the fallacy in "you cannot master others until you master yourself"? how can you expect someone to trust you with their greatest gift if the so called "master" doesn't have a full grip over themselves? It's almost the blind leading the blind.



Prinsexx -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 4:02:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc


quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

All good points. OP, I think it would be better to put an age range on your profile rather than just calling your preference "older." And I am another one that wonders how a 21-yr old can possibly have mastered life.

~sweetsub~


Whereas a +40 year old automatically has? I never understand that logic.
Personally, I believe people would find life so much easier, more positive and brighter if they could get over this whole 'you cannot master others until you master yourself' fallacy.


Oh the Masturbatory Theory of bdsm?
I can't even scrub my own back.



Prinsexx -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 4:04:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TSsubmissive


quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

Whereas a +40 year old automatically has? I never understand that logic.
Personally, I believe people would find life so much easier, more positive and brighter if they could get over this whole 'you cannot master others until you master yourself' fallacy.



Where's the fallacy in "you cannot master others until you master yourself"? how can you expect someone to trust you with their greatest gift if the so called "master" doesn't have a full grip over themselves? It's almost the blind leading the blind.

It's a fallacy because if he could do it all himself he wouldn't need a slave.
But then masturbation is catching on.



Prinsexx -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 4:08:39 PM)

I haven't quite reached the age when people start reminding me that I posted this last year.
Does that count for anything?



kalikshama -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 4:58:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc


quote:

ORIGINAL: discreethusband

Second consideration, drop the 69 at the end of your nic. It looks like an XBL gamertag.


I don't wish to sound insulting, but I'd be far more attracted to someone with a number in their name, even if it does reference a sexual act, than one that implies cheating. (Again, it's all subjective).

[sm=cheering.gif]



kalikshama -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 5:02:24 PM)

Well I came late to the party and the OP's profile is down, but I agree with the feedback presented so far.

gaujein, on the other hand, is only 3 years older but has written a mature profile and well articulates what he seeks.



Innisint -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 5:48:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds2

I do not mean to be impolite, but a 21 yr old who refers to themselves as a master would be a red flag to me. It is a young age, especially to an old lady like me. I cannot imagine anyone mastering life at that age. I am sure that I am bias. I just saying though, it might cause some of us older women puzzlement


I can't imagine anyone "mastering" life. Once a person is old enough to no longer be a novice at living, death takes them away.



Selectivelight -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 6:38:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Selectivelight
Forget titles and worldly position. You don't get that, it gets given to you. You may do everything in the world to earn it, but at the end of the day, who knights himself?

Well DAMN! Doesn't that just answer a whole slew of questions that typically come up here on CM.

One of the most condensed pieces of wisdom I've ever read here. Thanks for saying it.



It was my pleasure. Once in a while, I suppose even I have to hit the nail on the head.



oceanwynds2 -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 7:00:09 PM)

Innisint, true in many ways. But I do feel there is a wide difference from one entering their 20's in this lifestyle and using the title Master. A Lawyer or Doctor at that age would not be considered a master of their trade. I am viewing someone being a master in Ms the same way.
Qualifications comes with experience and that comes with age. I remember being in my early 20's and feeling I had a lot of knowledge in certain areas, but I did not have the years of experience. In time, my so call mastery of some areas were founded by me to be faulty.

Mastery is something we all strive for in a given area or so, but in use of this lifestyle I find the word used too loosely and there is no substance but ego to back it up. It to me is similar to a person saying they are dominant in personality, but they are only domineering. There is a big difference. To make that not age relevant, I have met domineering men of all ages, who claim to be both dominant and/or masters.



NocturnalStalker -> RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. (2/21/2011 7:49:23 PM)

I'll be damned if somebody attempt to rival my mastery at Pac-Man. 



Page: <<   < prev  2 3 [4] 5 6   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.0625