SomethingElse9
Posts: 4
Joined: 12/22/2009 Status: offline
|
So, I have been with this guy for two years now, minus a month of a break period where I was out of the city. I didn't see anyone else during that time but I was working on myself. He did see other people during that time including a transvestite. I knew about this though and didn't even really care because it was an off period for us. Anyway, I end up moving back and moving in with him. We both missed each other and realized we loved each other and etc. Fast forward 5-6 months later and he decided he wanted to start seeing other people again, cross-dressers and transvestites to explore his sexuality. At first I was taking this very hard because he had told me when I first moved in that he was going to see others with me only. Then he is going to meet someone off of this site who turned out to be insane or something like that. Then, he started answering ads off of Craigslist and went to meet someone off of there on a Saturday night in the pouring rain late at night and it was a bad situation. I was hurt by that incident because we had been hanging out together and having a nice evening together and had great sex together. I fall asleep and he spent time on CL answering ads and posted an ad himself. I felt insulted and felt like I wasn't good enough. He comes back and I am up watching t.v. and then go to bed. He proceeds to stay up and talk to someone from this site for hours. They start talking every day and he is automatically doing assignments for this person. I felt like it was belittling to our relationship and anyone that he would put so much faith and energy into someone he didn't know at all. He ended up inviting said person over to our apartment for an evening and I was not home for any of that. I was told I could be there but it might be better or less awkward if it was just them at first. So, I stayed out late after work and came home to find out it was not what he had expected. Well, now it is a few weeks later from that experience and he has gotten really into this cross-dressing thing. He still is trying to meet someone, talking to people on here (both women and men) and answering ads. The biggest thing is that he has changed a lot since all of this has transpired. He was a bit metro-sexual when I met him and I liked that. I didn't know anything about the cross-dressing for a long time. He did a few times prior to getting heavily into it since the new year. Now, he is taking women vitamins, spending more time grooming than even I do, using make-up and hair products, dressing up and etc. Ultimately, I am confused because I do love him and I do want to accept him completely. The confusion comes in the form of wondering if I can handle it all and wondering if I can ever feel good enough for him. I have been doubting myself constantly. I have been trying to lose weight, trying to dress up more, trying to be more exciting and enticing, and etc. He tells me that he is attracted me and loves being with me. I cannot help but feel that he would rather be with someone else all of the time and feel like he might be fantasizing about others when he is having sex with me. I also wonder about his loyalties when he sends out hundreds of e-mails to people and seemingly cares for them and treats them like they are seriously important when he doesn't know them at all.
|