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Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/24/2011 9:46:44 PM

sweetnymph1125

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Joined: 2/19/2010
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So I've been with my Master now for 2 years. We have a relationship that doesn't involve very much kink and closely resembles what I think real slavery from way back in ancient times was. I serve him and am submissive to him but we don't play very much or use toys. We have floggers and paddles and other things, he's just not into using them all the time. He wanted a real slave and not necessarily the kink that often goes with M/s relationships. My question is, are there others out there like us who are Masters or slaves but aren't very kinky? Also, do you think it is important for all M/s relationships to use kinkiness? In your opinion, can you have a M/s relationship without kink?

I do like kinkiness, btw. I love it, we just don't do kinky things that often.

I'm asking because I feel very out of place in the bdsm community and I want to know if there are others out there like me.

Post #: 1

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/24/2011 9:53:44 PM

LillyBoPeep

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when i first got actively into BDSM, the very first M/s couple -- 24/7, live-in, collared, the whole she-bang -- were not into S&M at all. they were mildly kinky, and only used light bondage. the s-half of the couple actually WARNED me to be wary of Sadists because she felt they were just plain dangerous people.

so no, you're not the only ones who aren't super kinky players.
real life isn't about playing all the time; i think sometimes people forget about that. real life is the simple day-to-day, operating in tandem towards the furtherance of the goal of your relationship, whatever that is.

people focus on S&M because it's the lowest common denominator, and in communities that hold events and need attendees (money), they cater to that because that's what gets people to show up. hop on google and see if you have a MAsT (Masters And slaves Together) chapter near you.

oh yeah and i have to add -- as far as historical models for slavery, that could mean anything. there are all sorts of types of slavery and some people take "real" as meaning that you view your dynamic as more valid than someone else's that might be different. just a heads-up.
you have a dynamic that serves both of your needs, and that's the most important thing.

< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 2/24/2011 9:55:52 PM >

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RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/24/2011 9:56:58 PM

sweetnymph1125

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Joined: 2/19/2010
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Thanks, I'll check out MAsT :)

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RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/24/2011 10:17:17 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnymph1125

So I've been with my Master now for 2 years. We have a relationship that doesn't involve very much kink and closely resembles what I think real slavery from way back in ancient times was. I serve him and am submissive to him but we don't play very much or use toys. We have floggers and paddles and other things, he's just not into using them all the time. He wanted a real slave and not necessarily the kink that often goes with M/s relationships. My question is, are there others out there like us who are Masters or slaves but aren't very kinky? Also, do you think it is important for all M/s relationships to use kinkiness? In your opinion, can you have a M/s relationship without kink?

I do like kinkiness, btw. I love it, we just don't do kinky things that often.

I'm asking because I feel very out of place in the bdsm community and I want to know if there are others out there like me.

Unless all the BDSM folks are sleeping with pony crops jammed up their ass' I think the kink stops but the M/s continues.

For me it is all M/s with occasional bouts where you find yourself tied up like a pretty lil present and then your clothes are ripped off. Most all my kink is called kink cuz I am very hands on and primal... would I call it kink, not likely, it's just me.

YMMV
SLURP!

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Post #: 4

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/24/2011 10:47:38 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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An M/s dynamic needs only to function on the authority dynamic inherent to it. So, if the M-type doesn't choose to engage in any kink and you're obeying, M/s is still perfectly intact.

In my past it's been anything from bound, spreader bar-ed, cat-o-nine-tails naughty time to spending an entire day naked in bed watching a full TV show season on DVD.

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RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/24/2011 11:11:40 PM

NocturnalStalker

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So you're basically a housewife?

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RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/24/2011 11:23:12 PM

NihilusZero

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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

So you're basically a housewife?

Not in today's neo-feminist state of gender-role status.

This is where "1950s Household" comes into use as a description.

_____________________________

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I know they're all insane
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I know that I'm to blame."
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Post #: 7

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/24/2011 11:57:51 PM

IronBear

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Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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In my world, slaves equate to staff. Some do domestic duties (maids etc.), some do work about the grounds (grounds men and grooms). Some either have special duties such as chauffeur or Ad C – Aide d' Com). Most still are required to serve the Gentry and Guests with refreshments and food.

All are subject to B&D, the S&M Is simply entertainment of varying degrees for those involved or watching. I believe that this brings about a cohesive balance in the home.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 2/24/2011 11:58:15 PM >

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RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 4:17:49 AM

phoenixmoonn13

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Joined: 6/11/2010
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we to have a strong M/s but not so much the heavy kink. yes we play have toys but nothing to the level many have. more like a super strict 1950's with some kink

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Post #: 9

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 4:34:40 AM

lifespath

Posts: 1
Joined: 2/21/2011
Status: offline

From what you have written I think I'm exactly like you! Its not what I have but it is what I'm looking for. Slavery is a state of being, I don't think its something you have to justify by wearing leather and being chained up and whipped all the time etc etc. Its a bit like being married - you dont have sex all the time, but you are still married whatever else you are doing in day to day life.

"In your opinion, can you have a M/s relationship without kink?" Yes absolutely. Kink may be fun, the spice in the relationship, but it isn't the reason why I want and need a M/s relationship.

phoenixmoon13 - a "super strict 1950's with some kink" sounds perfect!

(in reply to phoenixmoonn13)

Post #: 10

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 4:41:11 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
In my past it's been anything from bound, spreader bar-ed, cat-o-nine-tails naughty time to spending an entire day naked in bed watching a full TV show season on DVD.

Le sigh... on either scenarios...

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RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 4:42:51 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnymph1125
I'm asking because I feel very out of place in the bdsm community and I want to know if there are others out there like me.

You are not alone...

No... seriously though... you are not. Welcome to CM.

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Post #: 12

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 4:46:59 AM

Kana

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Joined: 10/24/2006
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We do heavy D/S at all times but can go weeks w/o getting too kinky.
It's no big deal for us. Sex isn't at the heart of what we do, love and service is.

An average night can be backrubs, soft candles and a night out listening to jazz. It can also involve her tied like a pretzel, stuffed in every hole like a x-mas turkey, screaming like Janet Leigh. Either works well for us, just depends on what mood I'm in.

< Message edited by Kana -- 2/25/2011 4:50:21 AM >

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RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 5:29:15 AM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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I think what you're asking is that you'd like to find similar couples. If you start looking for keywords like 'protocol' and 'service', you'll find dynamics that de-emphasize sex and kinky play.

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Post #: 14

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 5:44:24 AM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
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To the OP.

If it works for you and your partner, who the hell CARES about "everyone else"?

It sounds like you have a good working relationship. Carry on, be well, live long and prosper.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 15

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 7:06:43 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnymph1125

So I've been with my Master now for 2 years. We have a relationship that doesn't involve very much kink and closely resembles what I think real slavery from way back in ancient times was. I serve him and am submissive to him but we don't play very much or use toys. We have floggers and paddles and other things, he's just not into using them all the time. He wanted a real slave and not necessarily the kink that often goes with M/s relationships. My question is, are there others out there like us who are Masters or slaves but aren't very kinky? Also, do you think it is important for all M/s relationships to use kinkiness? In your opinion, can you have a M/s relationship without kink?

I do like kinkiness, btw. I love it, we just don't do kinky things that often.

I'm asking because I feel very out of place in the bdsm community and I want to know if there are others out there like me.

I think part of your problem is your profile...

The way you use the term "real" in your profile and in your journal posts smacks a lot of the way some folks around here have used the word "true". The way you make it sound, any slave who does not want to sleep with you and/or your Master is not a "real" slave.

Sorry, but if that is the way you look at it, you may meet others who are definitely slaves and others who are definitely submissive...but that won't change the fact that they do not want to sleep/play with you and your master. I would suggest toning down that implication in your journal entries...

(in reply to sweetnymph1125)

Post #: 16

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 7:26:04 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnymph1125
closely resembles what I think real slavery from way back in ancient times was.

No offense meant, but I doubt it.

quote:

My question is, are there others out there like us who are Masters or slaves but aren't very kinky? Also, do you think it is important for all M/s relationships to use kinkiness? In your opinion, can you have a M/s relationship without kink?

I know people who are into BDSM and not into D/s. I know people who are into D/s and not into BDSM. Unless you're doing someone harm...there is no right way or wrong way to do this. It's about what makes you happy.

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Post #: 17

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 7:28:14 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Passively waiting for them to roll in can work well too. mate of mine, after his marriage split used to come along with my ex and I to singles nights. he'd be seated with us, when the ladies homed in on the "Fresh Meat". When they asked how he was coping, he'd look mornful and turn his big brown doggy eyes at them and say: "I'm hungry". Worked like a treat and he used to have few of them eating out out of his hand every time. At least he was never short of a screw.

_____________________________

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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 18

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 7:30:20 AM

ImaginativeWhims

Posts: 81
Joined: 2/8/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnymph1125

I do like kinkiness, btw. I love it, we just don't do kinky things that often.

I'm thinking this right here is the root of the issue: You have needs that are unmet and you're not happy about it.

A majority of the responses here are from individuals or partnerships that have been in the lifestyle for many years, from the perspective of someone who's been in for a comparatively short time (3 years) my M/s relations have been about 55/45.

I try my hardest to keep a tiny part of the kink integrated into every day. Going shopping for groceries? Remote control vibrating egg and I'm holding the buzzer

.

I'll be honest with ya sweet, if your needs aren't being met then you're not going to be happy. Be sure to think about it first though, make damn sure it's not a case of "The grass is always greener on the other side". Talk to your Master, communicate your needs with him, earn the right to do daily work naked, and wiggle your business at him!

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I am inflexible in my needs, reasonably flexible in my wants and stand absolutely firm on my dynamic. -FT

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Post #: 19

RE: Real slavery, less kink, more real service. - 2/25/2011 7:34:40 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
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i dont really read that as needs not being met, just a statement that she does like kink. sometimes people who don't participate in kink because they really DON'T like it (like the people i met).
they do, they just don't do it much.
i think MAsT would be a good avenue for them because that group set out with the goal of NOT focusing on kinky play, but on relationships and life issues that M/s people encounter, and forming a network of people to relate to.

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"Obey your Master." Metallica

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Post #: 20

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